This is my first post but I have been reading for a while. I have been trying to fight for years but I am so tired of fighting everyday to never be happy. I obsess over how I’m going to end it and when. I’m afraid of a failed attempt. I am so tired of never feeling good enough, having people walk out on me, and just not caring.
I hate hearing people say to just give it time or things will get better. I am 25 and it never gets better for me. I just want it to be over now. I don’t want to […]
Hello. I am a college student in Chicago. I’ve been assigned an open topic/open medium project so I’ve decided to take this opportunity to bring some attention to depression and anxiety. If you would like to be part of this project please send me an audio file with your thoughts on the subject (you can also send me a video file if that would be easier for you and I can extract the audio from it). You can say whatever you’d like on the subject but if you need a jumping off point here are a few questions to think about:
– Do you have an […]
So I haven’t posted in a while. My auntie took me to a theme park with her and my nephew. It was good to be away from everyone and spend time with them as I don’t see them much, but I’m home now and I hate it.
Its seems as though a guy is interested in me?? Not completely sure how this is happening. Its probably just some sick joke or something but I’m enjoying it while it lasts I guess.
Its my Nana’s birthday today.. She passed in may. I miss her so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about her. I […]
You know I’ve realized something
The more I think I’m bettering everyone else off, the more damage I do
For myself, but mostly others
They never get to feel what I feel
They never get to experience the love I have for them
I keep distorting everything I think life is supposed to be full of
And in order for my love to be shared I have to be here
I’m loving no one if I decide to leave
As badly as I feel, and as much as I believe the world won’t notice my absence, I won’t leave here until all my love is […]
Why do i even try anymore . I am in pain i cant keep living like this. Overdosing on pills or hanging myself dont work at all!
I give up i can’t keep going on like this . I am invisible to the whole world and i cant take it anymore. I realy want to blow my brains out and just sleep forever !
i want someone to physically wrap their arms round me and hold me. Dont say everything will be okay i need someone to tell me we cant always be strong. I dont have anyone to love or be loved by. My parents dont take my depression and anxiety seriously they think i want attention. i dont want attention i want to be loved but i dont act out to be loved. My attempt was a attepmt but also a test. If i killed myself or atleast attempted i wantd to see who will go out of there way to make sure im okay and make […]
I can here with such high hopes and big dreams. I came here expecting things to go well, expecting to make it through with only a few scrapes. Little did I know those scrapes would turn into bullet holes. I’m applying for boarding school, and if I don’t get in, if everything isn’t perfect, it will be the end of the world. There’s no place for me to go after that. Death and failure are the same thing to me now. I’m so scared of what will happen if I fail that I can’t focus on anything else. Right now, it’s either I get in […]
Round and round it goes in my head. Can’t kill myself. Can’t do that to my family. I owe them everything, and it would destroy them.
But can’t go on living with this overwhelming sadness. Can’t keep going through the motions. Can’t keep pretending I have a life. Can’t stand this longing anymore. Can’t go on being alone, but can never feel any real connection with anyone. Can’t keep hating myself, but can’t be anything better, no mattter how hard I try. Can’t keep fighting a battle I’m never going to win. Can’t bear to be the one who everyone pities anymore, a worthless loser. Can’t […]
For as long as I can remember I have had to deal with the vindictive game my mom likes to play, I’m not talking about the casual fighting, I’m talking about an actual goal to ruin my dad, my brother and my life. It’s countless years of verbal abuse even though I have tried so hard to be a good student and kid. I clean the house constantly, cook for my family, have a job and maintain a 4.0 average, I do this all to alleviate the amount of stress my mom already puts on my dad. I am now a senior in high school, […]
I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t live like this, with my depression. I don’t think I was meant to be happy. How am I supposed to keep going?? What’s the point. I hate everything. What am I supposed to do with my life? Seriously.
Alright, I’ma try to dedicate this other to this other one.
What makes you beautiful, is the secret inside of you.
You are already, your perfect cathedral.
Don’t change yourself, from being just.
Grow in your nature like you were meant to.
Keep going and someday, life will be beautiful.
Like the way that you told me so.
If you may, may I ask, to pray for me just for tonight.
What makes you beautiful, is the secret inside of you.
I have read The Peaceful Pill and I think I know how I’d like to go. I won’t post it but knowing the how somehow gives me a slight sense of peace in amongst all the chaos.
A very small part of me tells me to keep going, struggle on. A mountainous part of me however speaks to the contrary telling me that my struggle has been long (and it has) with no hope of living any sort of life away from the angst that consumes me. I have posted before parts of my struggles. They don’t begin to explain the war that exists inside of […]
I really hate how I can tell someone to keep going when I know that I can’t keep going myself.
I hate how I’m there for everyone but when I need someone, all I have is myself.
I hate how I cry myself to sleep at night because I have actual problems and yet, there are kids my age who’s only problem is whether or not they want to actually vacation in Paris this month or not.
I hate how people don’t care about certain things like homelessness and bankruptcy until they have to experience it first hand.
I […]
Hi, i’m guy from finland and i’m 17 years old. I wanted to tell someone about how i feel, but i dont have any good friends to tell about them and then i find this page. I hope this will help me keep going on because i have no idea what i’ll do with my suicidial thoughts.
I have lied to all of my closest friends and my family and now i think i should tell them about it but if i tell i dont know what will happend between me and them. I Think that telling about it will make my life harder and i’m […]
Man can life be depressing or what? Sometimes I sit here and wonder how the fuck I managed to let myself live this long. I honestly don’t know why I continue moving forward when there is nothing better in store for my future. I feel like I’m on auto pilot or something because I just keep going. I don’t wanna say I’m numb because I do feel things. It’s just when I get disappointed or sad I instantly shake it off and I feel like it’s irrelevant. I haven’t gone out because I was trying to finish paying tuition which I haven’t been able to […]
I’m writing to you here because I wanted to be sure you got my message. Sorry I couldn’t respond earlier- no internet at home.
I’m sorry you are facing homelessness, depression, loneliness, hunger AND finding a place for you dog! This is a lot to deal with!! I can understand how terrible loneliness is- I am too. And the feeling of not knowing what to do, esp, when options are few? OH ! Not something I’d wish on an enemy.
So, what can you do? I’m glad you posted. Venting it, journaling about it can help.
When I read your words, two things that strike me. Finding a place for you to […]
The decision to keep going for the hope of a better life even though I have been hopeless for multiple years and staying for the only 2 people that have ever cared about me in my life (my parents) or to be selfish and just enter peace where I end the years of suffering every single second of my life where I am not sleeping. I am tired of crying and just want peace. Decisions, decisions. A decision that will mean life or death.
The world has been comming down on me for a long time now and i cannot keep up with it anymore, i hurt physically and emotionally and nothing helps, 15+ years of feeling terrable And i cannot keep going. Dose anyone have a reason to keep going? Probably not. So if anyone would like to help me do myself in that would a big help. I have tried but i guess not hard enough.
It would be selfish for me to kill myself considering all that my parents have done for me. They are the only 2 human beings that actually care about me. I just want to apologize to my parents for having such a big piece of crap that I am. I am literally already dead but still breathing. I stare brain dead into the computer screen all day, every tiny part of me is gone and I have to cry myself to sleep everyday. Being depressed for 5 years does that to people. How much longer I can keep going for my parents remains a mystery. […]
The title explains who I am. The list of things wrong with me doesn’t stop at the age of 18. -Do nothing every single day my entire life but play video games. -Eat nothing but fast food. -have 0 friends. […]
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