I know a lot of talented people. I’m in junior high, and I already know people who qualify to teach piano, get first place in provincial level athletics, got perfect on their advanced harmony exams, or even first in a nation-wide mathematics competition. Everyone else I know is blessed with some kind of glorious, useful talent. Something that is measurable in levels or ribbons. I get stuck with art. I used to be so proud of my artwork, that I could actually create something that others could enjoy. At the age of 12, I had already started doing commissions and auctions on DeviantArt. I was so pleased […]
Speaking of a Psyduck
Inside the collective of the sea
Or is it just me and you being tricking me
Specie born of amnesia
A whistle and Tishina
Outlaw from the star
One of a kind of a comrade did fallen
In your realm
Divided-states of the Universe
Speaking of a Psyduck
I know, the man, Ekans
Go play, with Espeon and the electric
I need to be on my own, from my raft
Maybe, for a while
Ive been afraid to post here because that will mean the depression is surely back – well this sucks, I can think of a plethora of triggers that may have caused this to start. I don’t know what I am expecting from you all, maybe a little support, a little hope. Im afraid this might be the straw that breaks the camels back. So much pressure right now in my senior year at college, looking to apply to grad school and all I can think of right now is what kind of knot to use in my noose.. I feel so crappy.
Is only me
I’m not capable of such kind
But surely I loved you
Your feet to the ground and to the view
Feeling, all that I feel is ultimate agony
Call to me, the poor and agony
You beautifully blow into a black-hole
The Blue Marvel, do not gravitate me farther in time in your fate
Faith, keeping me upside-down in irony
Allah, I call to, Allah
Most of my life is dominated by fear. So why not lay it out. What’s the worst thing that I can imagine?
I suppose it’s experiencing neverending pain, torment, horror, terror etc. That’s what ideas of hell tend to invoke. It’s hard to imagine feeling that kind of extreme negative emotion non-stop, for all eternity. Surely you’d become numb to any kind of torture, given enough time. But I can’t dismiss it entirely. The idea of hell has a deep grip on a part of my psyche. Because it feels I deserve that kind of punishment. I can’t really square that with my rational side. I […]
People need to understand that an ounce of happiness that comes into your life, will disappear in a matter of seconds. Theres no such thing as happiness. You can’t live happily ever after. This world is so messed up that people will convince your mind into thinking that your pain will go away, even though later that person is the actual causer of your pain.
People in relationships think that they’ll last forever and get married and have kids. No. Relationships don’t last. So I don’t really understand why people would put themselves through that kind of pain when they know that it’ll end badly for […]
Third Post
just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words. You are all good people I’m sure. I’m checking out tonight. Hopefully it will be peaceful and go without any problems. I’ve reached my official breaking point. Be cool and Semper Fi.
Everything, that one can lose
Looking at it, now it just kind of makes me
Lost it, at the tip
Yours, the Captain America
At the end, crawling
Like the sign
Respond to me, my alpha
The way of the, caged
For me it’s the, I’m here to the
All that I see
Slowly maticulating
Meticulous
Like the sludge
My gender kind of really gets me down, which causes me to freak out and cut, to feel a little bit better. And I feel like I don’t want to live if I don’t know who I am, and I can’t live like this much longer.
I identify as genderfluid or genderflux, but use she/her pronouns in everyday life (mainly because no-one knows). I hate the fact that I don’t feel I can be open about my gender, because of my family. They’d be okay with it, but I just wouldn’t want them to treat me differently.
I don’t know whether I want to start […]
I get the weirdest sensation in my brain if I don’t take my pills for about 2 days (like now). It feels like there’s like a mini Explosion in my brain or some kind of bubble rolling around up there, it’s quite surreal.
Does anyone know what this could be?
so i started to cut myself. My sister found out and wanted to talk to me. She asked me why do i do it and i couldnt tell her…i couldnt tell her that the pain from cuts makes me forget about my mental pain, it also kind of feels good. i just told her “i dont know” and kept quiet. I promised her not to do it anymore, but i couldnt keep that promise. Instead, I now have scars on my legs. Much deeper scars. and it helps.
How do you tell the people who gave you life that you don’t want it anymore?
I’m terrified. I’m trying to tell my parents how I’ve been feeling but I keep putting it off. I am afraid that if I tell them, my mom will either ignore me or yell at me and my dad will be disappointed or hurt me. I just don’t know what to do. At the moment, I would really like to seek professional help. I’ve been feeling really down for years. Actually, it’s more of an on and off kind of thing but it’s getting worse and I’m afraid that I […]
A few years ago, I was just entering middle school. It was a strange transition for everyone, I think. I remember looking around the classrooms and seeing how different people were.
For a while, it was just me. I was very shy and quiet, seemingly closed-off. I made a few friends during that year. We weren’t best friends but we were okay. You see, I moved around a bunch so making friends was difficult and made me feel awful because I just kept thinking that I’d move and never see them again.
I used to bring lunch and eat it in the school cafeteria; it was very […]
i need resources to help me find a quality job. if anyone has knowledge on resources to help me, please let me know. seriously. i can send my email address (to anyone who is serious)), and tell you what i kind of training i have. please let me know, thanks a bunch.
nothing
I’m struggle to let the real me be free and not be this person who I am now that is consumed with anger and resentment, negativity, and ignorance. I’m trying hard to be a better person, I want to be kind to others and be nicer to my parents, but it’s hard when people around me treat me poorly and when my parents don’t respect me and put me down. How am I suppose to be the person I want to be when I’m surrounded by negativity, judgements, and downers? I feel like taking my antidepressants again, even though they make me feel like […]
Sometimes we wake from a dream and realize we’ve been dreaming some part of that dream over and over again.
This morning I woke from a dream with the knowledge that I’d dreamt about the same fish tank many times.
The tank was covered by some kind of sheet, and had been neglected by me for such a long time that no fish could possibly be alive.
I left it alone and continued to ignore it.
Eventually, I decided to remove the cover, though I really didn’t want to. But I did. I don’t know the reason why I could no longer ignore it.
To my surprise, […]
Everyday I feel like killing myself a little more.
I keep my emotions bottled up now, biting my lip until I draw blood when I want to show emotion. It kills me inside to know that I’m getting closer to my death.
Honestly, the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet, is because of my friends on Quotev, music and because I would never leave my sister in all of this misery we go through.
I wish I had grown up differently, seen things differently, learned things differently. Though here I am.
If you think about it, it’s kind of funny. It’s funny how when we were little, we […]
I guess I’m just angry about the fact that I feel like no-one cares about me. The people that I feel are my friends make me feel worthless. Even my best friend, who is the nicest person in the world, makes me feel like shit sometimes.
My mum is really strict, so I’m not allowed Facebook, or any kind of social media at all, so I find it hard to keep in contact with my friends. And none of them bother to keep in contact with me.
Before my best friend got Facebook, my other friends would still try and talk to me, to let […]
It feels like nothings really changed. Get hyped over things that peak my interest express nothing towards everything else. It gets easier to talk about my problems or health issues and to have analytical jam sessions with doctors, determining what kind of mental issue ive got. Im so open to the not so pretty and just addressing the existence of things like depression or anger-fueled violence that it deters others from really talking to me….but as the time goes by its bothering me less and less. I care less and less. Its kinda good but at times i worry if that mentality will manifest into […]