I’m so sad and defeated. I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I found this site the day twix was posting. I was sad she had to go, and touched by how kind everyone was here. So I lurked for a little over a week. Here I am now. I hope to get to know everyone better and hope I can help someone here because I don’t feel as if I make a difference anymore in my day to day life. I feel so raw and full of hate and sadness. I mostly hate myself for the way I have become. But, I’m rambling […]
I just don’t know anymore everyday seems to be more of a struggle how do people live years with suicidal thoughts ? I started having them like 4 years ago and last year I started to act on them in not afraid of dying no more I’m more afraid of living right now it’s kind of sad well I guess this is how my story meant to go and I’m ok with that I think in my life iv had more down days then up days and last year was the loneliest year of all and to be honest the loneliness is killing me more […]
Was wondering if anyone one here has tried this before, kind of like running away I suppose.
I’ve had this idea now for a while and honestly I’m really wanting to go through with it.
I’m 17, failing college, deeply depressed, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life any more and some days it’s a miracle I am even here the next morning. For a while now I have had this idea in my head to pack my bag and leave a note to my family basically saying “Don’t look for me, I will find you when I’m ready.” After leaving home my plan […]
Dear Lord in Heaven,*Not that i believe in thee….heheh*
Why am I still up at this hour??????????????????????????? Going on 99 hours awake now, god this does suck.
Kaylee Dee
Is it me or does this whole thing kind of rhyme????
Life is far too cruel and absurd to be lived.
I don’t know what fucked me up first – whether it was life or me. If I knew it was my own fault I don’t know if I would feel worse. But either way, what’s done is done. I’m damaged goods now.
I know that I had great potential – once. I know that I could have achieved some amazing things – once. If only I could turn back the hands of time – try a do-over, but this time with zero mistakes. This time, taking advantage of that limitless potential. This time, with the knowledge of […]
I’m doing ok currently, although I feel lost in myself. Not because there’s much to me, but that there’s nothing, and I feel lost in nothingness, as if consumed by it, if it makes any sense. It’s been some days since I had these light quasi-psychosis episodes, and I’ve been trying to meditate a bit on these strange thoughts I got at those times, and although they seem crazy, I have only emptiness apart from them. It’s not necessarily bad and I don’t intend to complain about it, it is rather peaceful this way, although shallow and melancholic at times. In any case, I was […]
It’s weird how at times I get these incredible insights about my life, how it’s OK that I’m in the final days of my nearly 57 years. That this is the natural, organic conclusion of my life. I’ve lived long enough. And although it’s sad in a way, death is also not to be feared, but anticipated. I am witnessing myself in my end days. My decline and degenerative process are so apparent to me. I have no appetite and have lost the ability to digest food, so I am incredibly weak. My bladder and bowels have stopped working, I pee once or twice a […]
Nothing big. But I thought it was kind of nice and serene, and wanted to share it. Maybe somebody will get something positive out of it.
Edit: Realized that is was very small. So here it is zoomed it, if that helps.
Does it sound weird when I say that I feel beautiful on the inside but every time I look in the mirror I see someone who is ugly and worthless. That will not get anywhere in life. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Any kind of helpful tips to not feel so down on myself. I would appreciate any kind of tips!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcd1GMoAkXE
The second day of my week long music post. This song is kind of preachy but it does acknowledge life’s difficulties, encouraging to walk forward regardless of the wounds.
A long time ago, when I was still in high school, the English teacher’s son killed himself.
He hung himself from a tree in the back yard, using a dog leash.
There are two things that still stick in my memory all these years.
One, the teacher had trouble acknowledging the truth of what happened. For a long time, she stayed in denial. She insisted it must have been an “accident”, because she couldn’t accept the fact that he had been suffering enough to make this kind of choice.
Everyone else in the community knew the truth of it, and they were sad and shocked and confused (and whatever […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
After one more day in my life, i got a “news”, i went for a walk with some music, with my life going deeper and deeper and i came a across to this.
I dont know if im depressed, all i know is that im empty and hopeless, i hope i dont last that much longer because i find no happiness or goals, in matter fact the news is about why some girl just gave up on me, some1 that ive met in the first day of the year, some1 who could bring some sort of light, she said to her friends that i was empty […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like us(“us” here includes me and all my lovely supporting friends at the suicideproject website) our souls contained more scar tissue than life.
Sorry im not jonny cash but yeah i hurt myself. I couldnt get out of my head and couldnt stop crying. Its the only thing that helps other then taking something, and there arent any of those around so. Next best thing right. Is it bad that im saying this. Im sorry i didnt mean to cause any trouble its just talking helps after too, but im alone at the moment. I think its because part of me feels bad because this is the only thing that is keeping me “ok” untill i start feeling bad again. At the sametime im kind of […]
Recently I have come to the conclusion that the thing causing my life to be shit is not some kind of exterior force, bad luck or me being the victim of circumstance, it’s me. This conclusion even relates to my shitty experience in my early school days. I’m talking about times that I didn’t fit in and was bullied. Bullies don’t pick at random who to bully, they go for particular types of personalities, all these things originates from within the victim themselves.
btw I’m not justifying bullying, I think it’s a terrible, terrible thing. But in my negatives trains or thought I have arrived at […]
There are a lot of changes that might happen soon. I have to make some serious decisions and it makes me sick just thinking about it. I feel so hopeless right now. I feel alone. I feel kind of empty. It’s like I’m not worth anything. That’s all I keep thinking about. I just want to die. Everything would be better if I were dead.
I have come to the conclusion that life is some sick experimental scheme that we can curtail by refraining from reproduction . By walking hand in hand into the beautiful glare of oblivion and hence opting out of this Raw deal. Imagine the unfairness of yanking an innocent soul from the comfort of oblivion and casting it into this painful thresher called life. If you have Kids, love them. If you don’t have them, please just be kind enough not bring them into this […]