Taken from Robert Crumb’s Plunge Into The Depths […]
Tag:
Last Days
This morning I was thinking of posting my last thoughts somewhere, just in case. I’m glad I came across this.
I will kill myself on an August 15th. I don’t really know the year, but that date will be. I’m supersticious of a certain event and I want to try out if it’s real or not.
The only thing that has kept me alive until now is anime, and will still until the August 15th.
My parents blame anime of my “weird” condition. What they don’t know is that it’s because of them I want to kill myself
I’ve tried so hard to get away […]
I’ve decided to give peace to my weary soul and shed the shell of human self. I have spent so much time going in and out of the reality of human existence, to realms far beyond the soul. Death and Rebirth without intention. My soul is eternal but this flesh is weak and poisoned. Is there salvation for aching bones and tethered flesh? A mind decayed by substance, a soul that cries for renewal. “Feed me to the bliss of abyss” pleads my soul. When i open my eyes and I realize I am myself again and I look at my skin and I […]
About a week ago I found this site and decided to tell me story. There were some people who advised me to reconsider my suicide. The last couple of days I have been thinking, over thinking and rethinking the idea of taking my own life. And I have come to the conclusion that I will do it.
I know what it means to be death, there is no coming back or any way to reclaim your body. I’m calm about taking my own life because death, in my eyes, is a way to finally let everything rest.
“It’s not suicide if you’re already dead insideâ€.
Before I finally […]
I’m about three days away from committing suicide. Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to spend their last day or last hour to really make it feel like it’s the end and will help you commit to the act? What’s everyone planning for their last day?
After studying least painful suicide methods for many weeks now,  I came to conclusion that properly done partial suspension hanging is the least painful way out.  And I do have a proof.   This morning  I tried my noose that I made yesterday from strong leather belt with strong, large D-ring style buckle (one of those “Lewis” designs),  to “try and see the fit”.
I had the noose hanging from a staircase railing, put it around my neck. Â I lowered my knees and the very moment when I felt the noose closing tightly around my neck veins (without choking me), Â I realized that this would be “it”. Â My […]
If you have read my last posts you know how I got here…
Yesterday I lost my new job. The job was not for me, but it was a job. I have been so morbidly depressed over the loss the new life I had found, the loss of my home, and the loss of my things, being trapped living in a hotel room, I tried to work at this new job. It was not a fit for me. Under normal conditions I would have made it work, but I simply could not. I literally tried to hide my tears back throughout […]
Please just give me a Chan Marchall eulogy
If I was ever anything at all, it’s all breaking news to me
Breaking down in a rage, just to apologise
It’s really so strange watching all these strangers sigh
It feels like I’m living through my last days every day
On your strongest of days, you couldn’t make me feel any less insane.
Wish the ongoing theme about me, wasn’t “He’s just crazy”
Wish I knew safety
Wish nothing phased me
Wish I felt more than just feelings of unrest
Wish the darkness didn’t cloud me
Wish I wasn’t an emotional wreck
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I don’t think I’ll be able to relate to any song more than […]