Yesterday my boyfriend Jonathan wanted to see me naked, and so i told him no. He told me how hard it was to not get things that he wanted, and i was getting a little frustrated over it and i said to him; “Just forget it, if there was a chance i would ever do that, it is gone now.” and then after that he told me; “Im not in the mood for this, my life sucks, bye.” then i said to him “And you think i’m in the mood? get over yourself. life isn’t perfect, and it will never be perfect, and i have […]
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Last Time
well, hi my name is Pia and i’m 14. It’s my first time that I write down .. my “stuff”. Â so I will just start how everything began.
i started first time cutting myself in 2009 i think, i wasn’t that long ago that my grandpa died. my mom changed, or i changed. i dont know. anyways my mom and me got big stress, i told her the first time that i hate her and i got the first time the feeling that i don’t belong here. I cut myself the first time.Â
From now on, i cut myself everytime when i got problems. When i cried […]
new to here. i have actually tried and failled twice to committ suicide. i was unconcious on my frontroom flat the last time. from a couple of litres of vodka and loads of pills. i had to have my stomache pumped out and kept in hospital for a couple of days. i didnt ask to be saved. but some one likes me. i was driven to d hospital and didnt kno where i was. i just am at a seriously low eb in life and have nothing to look forward to. i do not fit in with every day people as such. im just a […]
Im out of my meds, and havent taken them for a couple of days, and im freaking the hell out. I need my fucking zolft . I feel like im trying to swollow a fucking knife right now, I want to cry , can you belive that? Im a guy im not supposed to cry, im supposed to just lock that shit away but with out drugs im fucked. I feel like ripping of my face or throwing everything on the floor and re-organize for hours(last time I arranged the house for 2 fucking days) Fuck OCD and Fuck depression and Fuck anxiety. I am […]
I stumbled upon this site on accident, as I’m sure a lot of users have. Â After spending a good hour reading through older posts I decided that maybe it was a good idea to share my own story. Before I do though, I would like to request that I don’t get any of those standard responses that you see on most forums. I really don’t want to hear about how selfish I am, or how things will magically get better one day – no offense, but none of you know me and you can’t rightfully say anything about my lifestyle choices. Isn’t the internet grand?
Anyway, […]
If you have read my last posts you know how I got here…
Yesterday I lost my new job. The job was not for me, but it was a job. I have been so morbidly depressed over the loss the new life I had found, the loss of my home, and the loss of my things, being trapped living in a hotel room, I tried to work at this new job. It was not a fit for me. Under normal conditions I would have made it work, but I simply could not. I literally tried to hide my tears back throughout […]
I’ve gone through this site a bit.
I decided to join because it looks like there’s some hints of people succeeding.
I’ve never managed to complete an exit. I’ve tried to overdose, and hang myself, but somewhere along the way I get scared- I text someone I know in the back of my mind will come, or call someone who will. Someone who will talk me out of it and take care of me for a while.
Last time I overdosed I was  stuck in kid mode. For a month my boyfriend got me dressed in the morning, made me eat breakfast, walked me to my lectures to […]
i am turning 24 next month. i am a single mother. a college student and i work part time. i was an addict a few years ago and have turned my life around. i was raised by my grandarents. my mother is an addict. my father lives a wonderful life an hour away. i live in hell. i have rude grandparents as hard as it is to believe because grandparents are supposed to be nice they yell at me and tell me how lazy i am and how stupid i am how much of a b i am and how much of a sorry mother […]
Yesterday,my cat died and I know I’m prob being silly for being this sad over an animal,but she meant a lot to me.I love her so much.It’s like she left with a piece of my heart.I’d do anything to hold my cat one last time.I feel so alone and heartbroken.It would help out a lot to get some imput from someone that experienced this kind of tragedy.Please.
I am not a religious man but, I struggle with Anxiety, Depression, and many other mental illnesses that make me feel different and inferior. Depression makes me feel empty and no one can make me happy. I think about suicide all the time, I have suicidal visions and plans but never carry them out. Before I go to bed at night I think about how to commit suicide. I think about talking to my therapist for one last time and ending it in her office so I can see her and she will care for me while I fade away. I am too scared to […]
Hello all,
I am a 27 year old mentally disabled male that is good for nothing. I grew up in special education services but somehow managed to graduate college with a bachelors degree. My job sucks, i work in an office all day literally staring at my computer like a zombie and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. Everyone at my office knows i’m a disabled fuck and laughs at me. I feel so humiliated walking into that building every day. I have also been battling severe depression over the course of the last 9 years or so and have never had control over my […]
I know this is a page devoted to suicidal feelings, but I’m in a good and sharing mood and am going to try something a little different if anyone’s interested. Basically you just have to send me the letters to you name or a certain word (if you’re uncomfortable giving out your name) and I’ll answer the questions that go with it 🙂
A. WHY MY LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED.
B. FAVORITE BAND.
C. WHO I LIKE AND WHY I LIKE THEM.
D. HARDEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN THROUGH.
E. MY BEST FRIEND.
F. MY FAVOURITE MOVIE.
G. SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
H. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?
I. HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
J. WHAT I WANT TO BE […]
I dnt understand why i feel this way..i know why bt dnt understand why.. I have moments of happiness.. just moments nothing more.. i cnt even remember the last time i smiled without faking it.. Im tired of pretending, im tired of hoping, im tired of believing, im jus tired now. I really dont want to be this way, i dnt want to feel this way but things dnt change.
i had been living alone for 6 years until i got a dui awhile back, which snapped the thin monetary thread id been hanging by, so i had to move in with my mom..i’m almost 30 and i am very lonely. im very short and not particularly good looking so im unable to attract a mate. and presently relized by being short, ugly, broke and living at home as well as kinda old and less experienced , that its very likely ill never meet anbody and be alone all my life(having a family was a big desire of mine). id been on many dating sites for […]
Nothing left to live for… once chance at giving them a nice life…
by codeslinger
written by codeslinger
I have been addicted to drugs for half of my 30 years on this earth…. I thought if I got married and had some children that it would fill the hole in my heart.  I was able to stop using for a little while, but the desire to get high never goes away. I started using again and eventually my wife took my kids and filled a PFA to keep me away from them. I have never hurt her or the kids, but now I am looked at like a wife-beat. I despise those people who hit women, and that’s what hurts the most…
I do not want my kids to look at their junkie dad […]
I have been in a rocky, controlling relationship with a man I have been head over heels in love with for about a year now. He was never very nice, always controlling, very jealous, and extremely verbally abusive… A tall, sexy, tattooed from head to toe punk rocker, I fell in love immediately. we both have had hard lives, and he was from New York in Oregon (where I’m from) because he knocked a girl up in New York who was from Oregon, and he moved to Oregon to be the father. They didn’t work out. Anyway, we started a relationship, had a lot of […]
so after so long of not being able to see you i went up there. I knew i was most likely wasting my time, but when i got there this very nice nurse took pity in me, she said she would let me see you because of ezra. she led me to that little room where you all sit and watch tv, or play games. I probably should have figured it out by the was that girl kept looking at me…. the  same look i gave the vet when i was 9, right before they took my kitty away for the last time. we talked […]
So i find myself in my own hole again, im 21 years old and i’ve suffered from depression all my life as well as other disorders. i first started feeling depressed when i was a young child. The first thoughts of suicide that i can remember was when i was 8 and from that point i’ve been on and off many medications. I’ve had the ups and the downs and now i feel like im stuck in the down and i can’t get out. i spent a month in a psych ward in December and was released in January. i was homeless when i was […]
So ive decided to try again, i came close to blacking out last time, hopefully i will blackout fully so i wont stop my departure.
Fuck. My life has never been worse. I mean, there have been and are really shitty things in my life. Things I can’t control. But it has got to the point where I can’t see a way out anymore.
I realise that I have a lot to live for. My family really needs me, as do my friends. They all love me. I am  trying really hard to keep up my academic side. I was actually focusing on that when the shit storm hit.
I had a boyfriend. Fuck that is depressing having to write that in the past tense. People say stupid shit like ‘Oh yeah, […]