She wonders if anyone else could smell that. The rust and dirt on the brick path beneath her feet, the damp smell of the lake at the end of the trail. Could anyone else hear the soft patter of her cats paws following her as a baby from a distant home stirs and is about to wake. Finally, she veers off the path into the moonlit grassy area closest to the waters edge. An unknown creature moves in the water. She holds her left arm with her right as crimson lava exudes out of cuts drawn on her forearm. A breeze comes off of the […]
Tag:
Left Arm
i fantasized about dying for a good 2 years. it was my source of comfort.
i dont need my cipralex anymore, so i’m taking myself off it. a week in and those familiar suicidal feelings are back.
i know it’s just the withdrawal doing this to me, but it all feels so… familiar. and real. surreal. i wanna go partake in my new life, but  i’m having momentary thoughts of throwing myself off a building. i know it’s all biological. just gotta let it pass. it’s just made very uncomfortable by the fact that my left arm is in a cast for another few weeks, […]
New to this, but have experiences I would like to share and would also like any advice from others.
I have large scars on my leg from top of my thigh to the knee, some very long and wide. On my left arm I have scars on both sides of my arm including my wrist. I have been in this situation for six years. I use to live in small towns where scars were more acceptable so I showed off my arm with ease and didn’t have any issues. I moved to a city a few years ago and have found peoples reactions more of an […]
But now it seems like eating disorders and self harm are all over the place. I’m sure I’ve probably been making the most weird and horrified faces at just about everything.
I got handed a knife to cut open a bag and the guy sitting next to me pointed to the bag and said “Don’t cut yourself.†I almost dropped everything I was holding because I thought he was pointing at my left arm.
Later that night a friend walked in and said “Marion, you’re so tiny and skinny.†I smiled because I was super proud of myself until she said “I don’t mean to say you […]
My whole life I have had horrible luck. I always had to struggle for the things I wanted while the people around me just got it handed to them.
I started self harming when I was around 11 it started out as light cutting on my left arm and then once I made enough cuts I would stop until they healed
One night I decided to write a suicide note and take a bunch of pills. I took around 60 pills of all kinds, some sleeping pills, some pain relievers, some pills that were just there. What ever pills I had I took them
Some […]
All my life I’ve been bullied. My parents don’t give a shit about me. I’ve been told, and now thoroughly believe, that if i killed myself, no one would give a single fuck. Now, I’m not going to run out in the middle of the street and jump in front of a car going 80, but say I were, for some reason, laying in the street, and a car were coming, I wouldn’t move. Growing up, I was afraid to go to school. I would play hookie because I didn’t want to be spit at by the popular kids. I was beaten and made fun […]
Hey says my friend kelsie as she slides into the booth with the rest of us. hey we reply. ok says amber time to start! (in case your wondering this is my group my friends my club. every saturday we get together at this ice cream place and talk about whatever. it normally ends up with us gossiping about people, and yesterday the topic changed to to something quite interesting…) okay so guess what i learned about maredith welsh said cassy (the leader,somehow dont ask me how probably a miracle, i am friends with what society calls “the populars” they know EVERYTHING about everything at […]
I have fought severe depression and schizophrenia for a number of years. I go through bad times and then I can suffer through hell for months to a year or so at a time. As I write this I am in a downer period, voices constantly abuse me and tell me to kill myself and hallucinations frighten the absolute shit out of me to the point where I am screaming for help and crying my eyes out. I have had a number of suicide attempts but have been interrupted because of being on constant suicide watch. I did however have 2 very close attempts, on […]
Used a razor blade for the first time, and let me tell you, it’s a far cry from my old blunt carving knife from my less than successful scout days.
I didn’t like it. I’ve been planning to kill myself with them, but… Cold feet again. I feel so disgusted. All these pathetic lines down my left arm, and for what? I can’t escape from here, I’m trapped. It was all just a pipe dream.
I just want to be safe. Safe and happy and oblivious. Dream pretty, achievable dreams. Forget I ever existed and become someone else. Someone who isn’t a complete idiot.
I mean all this […]
Do you know what its like to look in the mirror and hate what you see? Do you know what its like to live your whole life the laughing stock of society? Do you know what its like to go through life hating yourself, but knowing that you can’t do anything to change yourself? Have you ever been about to take your own life, all because of the way you look? Do you have that red scar on your left arm because you know that you’ll end up cold and alone? Do you know what its like to plan your own death, just because you’re […]
I’m 18, and some days I do not know why I am alive. I have considered death when I’ve been at my weakest. I’ve wanted to go to the beach drunk & walk out into the water as far as I could go and just let go of everything. Let the waves take me away. I’ve wanted to overdose on my Zoloft. And when I really can’t handle anything I take a lighter to my left arm and burn myself. my arm is scarred up now. I HAD a boyfriend from April to this Sunday. We’ve been on and off for the last three months. […]
He’s in the process of breaking my heart. Its been over a year, and I love him more than anything but for every high there is a low.
I never hurt myself before you, and now I’m looking for ways to cover up cuts. I know, pathetic.
I was walking home along the road yesterday looking at every car that passes as an opportunity to no longer feel this way.
We’re still together, but need time apart? I feel like I’m gonna lose you to someone else, and I know that you don’t even treat me right half the time so why am I so […]
Because everything I touch turns to stone. So wrap your arms around me, and leave me, I can’t hold on….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
so… a lot. It’s easter holidays and told myself that i’m allowed to cut myself… it has slightly spiraled out of control. My left wrist is covered in small thin, lines and my right has 3 simple lines. My upper left arm looks…well. i carved ‘CRAZY’ into it….
Basically, i met this guy online, he is 18. we talked about a lot and then out of nowhere he removes me as a friend and blocks me…i could deal with the pain if i hadn’t started to really like him… and he also told me ‘ I would never leave you’…
I want to be sort of like […]
Not acting on suicide plans – looking for help (SIAD/Butterfly Project)
by LilBear
written by LilBear
I posted on here last month saying I was going to kill myself whenever I felt ready. I’d been planning to do it yesterday after my last scheduled meeting with someone had gone past, only I’ve managed to arrange to meet someone next Thursday. But for once, I’m actually not annoyed. I feel incredibly motivated to keep pushing on, and I’ve found a way to help me along.
So SIAD is tomorrow, and being a cutter, this is the day I’m more motivated to draw butterflies on my arms. I decided to try and raise some awareness for both SIAD and butterfly project in school, so […]
I keep starting and deleting everything I write. I try and articulate how I’m feeling and what I feel I need to do but I just can’t. It’s not so much that I’m insecure, mostly just that everything I try to explain doesn’t come out right. Writing has never really been my strong point. I really need someone to talk to but there really isn’t anyone here (not the site but where I live). I tried to open up to my mom but she’s was so oblivious to what I was trying to tell her. And I can’t really blame her because she is going […]