I don’t know if anyone on here remembers me. I had another name a while ago but for some reason couldn’t log onto it anymore. I was WHyyyyy. Still alive and I don’t know why. This is a nightmare. I have lost my soul and a lot of money from my gambling/poker addiction. My personality and everything is gone. No strength left. I have a plan to drive my car off a 400 foot cliff. It seems like such a long time ago I was this sick, but its only been little over a year. Life is wayyy to long and way to hard.
It’s really hard to describe my feelings at the moment, and I don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on anymore.
Things have been a little better recently, I guess. I’m mainly just tired, which my mum keeps nagging me about, because I shouldn’t be this tired, apparently. Maybe I should just tell her that ‘tired’ means ‘sad’.
My best friend has gone on holiday for three weeks and it feels like she’s been gone too long already, when she left two days ago. She’s the only one that talks to me, so I feel pretty much alone.
I have a shit load of summer […]
This place is mine, the feeling none.
Who are you to force your way in.
I ask not of what you bring, only of what you have left.
This is my platform, my disillusion.
And yet you take that which you did not sow.
Can I identify that which causes me grief.
What is there to scrutinise but the reality of this thing.
And yet I am here, while others are not.
I cannot take what is not mine to give.
When did I stray?
Was it convoluted, a misplaced thought?
How long can I occupy with such disdain.
I usher all around me to speak.
Such words have […]
I know it’s recommeneded to not give out your name, but honestly right now I need a friend. I need someone. Anyone. I feel hopeless, broken beyond repair. My name Is James.
I’ve tried to die multiple times now. Times where I just snapped and gave in, others where I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t take the abuse and the bullying. It’s left me completely broken. I thought it wouldn’t get worse.. But it got much much worse..
Lately my whole life has been destroyed. I let myself love again..and It only ended in pain. I let someone get too close..told them things about me […]
I wish I could just die already. I’m so sad all the time and I know that there is no way to escape it anymore. It feels like there’s this animal that lives in my stomach that eats every spark of happiness away. Any emotion at all is torn to pieces and all that is left is this shitty body.
I already walk around like a zombie, everyone knows it. I can hear people saying it behind my back. They treat me as if I’m a bomb; and time is slowly ticking away. What hurts me is that they’re completely right, and I am looking forward […]
Hello, friend
Yours, horrid and gruesome
I’m sorry if you ever saw in sludge
How can it ever to a profound if I can’t even stand
Friend, the title of this one is
What do I do in this alone
My naval clan still yet to comprehend
The objective, of the Grimer
If you dare
“…”
If you reach, in the pits
Revolve, from the viscous matter
Just for a moment
To take on, the damned
I tried collecting my thoughts as they come in pairs
An overwhelming feeling followed by emptiness,
As im searching for the signs between intersections in my mind,
I trace back to questions left behind
That led me to a line between certainty and confusion
When I can’t tell the difference between
When I can’t see the difference it seems
What holds me together
What breaks me down
What pulls me under
What keeps me alive
This are the thoughts that keep me up every night
And I can’t help but be consumed by this
My thoughts derail and collide with insecurities,
Like crooked teeth I lose my place, […]
From the womb you latched onto my fucking consciousness and never let me go. You injected your venom into my veins and attracted all my perpetrators and literal traitors from friends to the origin of my seed. You incited the deepest betrayal anyone could ever feel – most of all you inspired a betrayal and rejection of myself. Princess Dyana you are no princess to me. In fact you are a whore. A whore that sucked me dry before I breathed my first breath. I will never forgive you or let you go until you apologize for the eternal torment you caused my aching heart. […]
Heres my story i just need to talk to someone.
I will be 24 years old in a few weeks. I have lost everything. The love of my life left me 5 months ago. Im in so much pain but thats not even the start! It was all my fault she left. I have been hurt by 2 girls in the past i didnt open up my heart to this one soon enough! I was scared to get hurt again! I took her for granted and put my freinds first. Because i felt the would be the ones here for me in the end. I have […]
I did this to decrease the pain and anger and now, my only memories left are in music. That will be next. Memories are all I have left for happiness and I HATE THEM ALL!!!! It’s either pain or nothing at all. A to the motherfuckin’ men!
The constant fear I feel due to my chemically imbalanced brain. I can’t socialize correctly unless I try really really hard, but the strain of wearing social makeup has left me feeling hollow and wishing for a swift end to my existence. I don’t care about my own life, and so I care about others even less; no point in me continuing to live. What about you?
I haven’t been on this site for a few years. I was on it then because I was really suicidal, I worked through it that time and now it’s back with a vengeance. The last two years have been the worst two years. I’ve been waiting for it to get better but it doesn’t seem to be. My story’s about loss I guess. I’m a real survivor, I ve lived through sexual assault, violence, drug addiction. I’ve come out the other side on a couple of ocassions. I had 7 years off drugs and alcohol & 3 years but I’ve had these relapses and they’ve […]
Today I woke up and felt like dying. This isn’t unusual anymore. It took me a while before I talked myself into pulling back the duvet and putting on a shirt. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I smile and try to laugh, but laughing seems like a pathetic attempt at breathing lately. I’ve felt so alone, even in a room full of people. I hardly see the point of carrying on anymore. What’s the point of trying if I’m going to die anyway? I like to think of myself like a glass vase that someone dropped. You can pick the broken glass up and glue it back […]
I’ve been dealing with depression for the most of past 4 years (I’ve been hospitalized at 17). My girlfriend of six months just left me without a word of explanation. She’s been amazing the whole time, but there were no warnings. I don’t really believe in the concept of soulmates but I thought we were perfect for each other. I felt she was the only person to really understand me (I’m almost 21). For two weeks now, it has felt like someone stuck hundreds of shards of glass in my body and left it there. I’m not someone who often had physical pains before, but […]
This is my 1st post in SP. I nvr wanted to b here. But now i am. Coz i started hating my life. How people can easily cheat on us after having a complete relation? How he forget abt the days n nights i hv dedicated to him. Yesss…. I loved him… i loved him too much. Inspite of all the differances, inspite of our family problems. I loved him.
He was elder to me by 11 yrs…. yesss…. n still i loved him…. more than anything else in this world. Went through immense tortures & pains. but still never left him. Carried […]
This morning, early of course, I don’t get much sleep anymore, at least I thought, left me in the dust. I told her about my depression and how sometimes I feel suicidal..I thought it would help opening up to someone. But it completely blew up in my face. I’m not sad about it, it’s expected isn’t it. She said that I was crazy and needed help..perhaps I do. I wasn’t asking for her pity, I don’t need pity, just her understanding and support you know. I see it as if she acted like that when I tried to open up to her, she was obviously […]
I’m about to turn 64.
I worked hard through my professional life to put my son, daughter and nephew through good schools and university and my wife through law school. In 1995, I started my own business in California.
I had some welcome success, putting aside a comfortable nest egg which I thought would carry me through however much time I had left. I was wrong. All the nest egg did was attract the attention of circling sharks.
Beginning in 2008, I made some business decisions which, over the course of the next five years, would cost me virtually everything. A former partner, my personal attorney and an […]
I came across this site and when I tried to register it said I was already registered. I didn’t realize I had posted here almost 3 years ago. I decided to try and live. But today, I still feel precisely the same as I did then. There have been massive, positive changes in my life and my lifestyle, but none of it has even made a chip in the depression I’ve felt since I was a child.
Now I’m 3 years closer to that expiration date I’d given myself: if things don’t improve by the time I’m 30, I’ll know that I’ve run my course. I […]
Some days I’m ok, some I’m severely depressed and others I just want to die! Brain injury is a strange and vicious *****!!! Tattoos, music and spending time with the very few friends I have left helps me thru, no Dr’s, no drugs except weed:) and a few shots of JD!!!
It’s been two years since my husband asked for a divorce and I tried to kill myself. He was engaged to another woman before the divorce was final. Sometimes it hits me hard that he left me. My kids tell me that I can talk to them any time but when I try they don’t want to hear it. I hate being alone. I feel I’m in limbo and just existing. Sometimes killing myself seems like the only option. I am so tired. Tired of the loneliness, the worrying about everything, the having nothing. I live in my sisters extra room. I have nothing of […]