Tall, proud flowers project
Plucked one by one
Until I am all that is left
No competition for sun
Instead of basking and having fun
I shrink down to the size of a thumb
For I made the other plants feel dumb
Tag:
left
I cannot put my pain into words. I can’t cry. I deal with it alone all day and late into the night. There used to be catharsis putting it into words. Not anymore. The only relief left is to die. I don’t want to die, especially not alone and painfully. But it is a choice between that, and enduring pain that I no longer have the strength to face. I have no hope, no dignity, no fight left.
Words, words, words. The counterfeit of action. More contemptible than the suicidal gesture done to illicit sympathy. I am doing the exact same thing, yet without having to […]
I have decided to go. My husband left me for the second time. I went all out to save him from domestic violence chargsd. I lied on the stand he never hit me; but the truth is he has never stopped hitting me or verbally abusing me. I have loved him truly n have gone all out. I risked my credibility, and the day charges got dropped he left me.
i pray this never happens to anyone but i also pray my pain ends soon. I have decided to take my life; after so many attempts of dying i am trying this nicotine ingestion.
I want to […]
My story starts when I was little, my mom was seventeen going on eighteen when she had me and my sister. She struggled to make ends meet and she still wanted to go out and have fun like any young mom would, my father wasn’t around for the first three years of my life so my mom used to find babysitters or drop us off with family, she would be gone for night and nights on end my family told me. When I turned three me and my sister were dropped off with my aunt and uncle and custody was handed over to them, my mom […]
I don’t understand why sometimes I wake up feeling ok and other times I wake up and I don’t want to get out of bed…I sleep for 10 hours and still feel tired. I no longer get joy out of my appearance. I hide it as much as can because my boyfriend puts up with so much, with my panic attacks and anxiety. We try to rate how much I hate myself daily on a scale of 1-10. I live in fear of when he will leave me, because who could love an empty shell. I don’t understand why he hasn’t left me, I have […]
He reconciled with me went for counselling with me while his restraining order was still on. He broke that and also moved in with me. He asked me to lie in the court so he could not have a record. I did that and the day judgment came out: all charges withdrawn, he left me.
So distraught over this. What am i suppose to do?
I miss her so much it hurts. She was my everything. My reason to get up in the morning. My reason to want to be a better person. My reason to want to live.
Now that she has left me, there is a hole inside me. The hole is so big, I can’t function anymore. I can’t work. I can’t think straight. I can’t laugh or smile. I’m useless without her.
All I do every second of every day is think about her. I have daydreams of her texting me or calling me to say she still loves me and she made a mistake. I imagine our […]
I often question the reality in which i live, sometimes i think it is an elaborate ploy. An illusion manifested by my subconscious to shield me from an ever harsher reality i maybe it. I fear that i am still locked in my mothers basement,that i was never let out. I think i maybe lying in the fetal position in the corner of the dark basement with the stone wall pressed into my back. Maybe i never did get out. I image the longer i was down there and the more i realized i may never know a life outside of that darkness the more […]
It’s viral, this spiral
That threatens our survival
Take a picture for the road
We’ll say cheese and smile
Yea, we’re versatile
We’ll give you what you want
And we’ll make it seem worthwhile
Denial, our wile
We make it a lifestyle
Take it hook, line, and sinker
And then praise us for our guile
We’re liars, expired
Somebody start a fire
The only thing that’s left for us
Is burning on a pyre
Yea, we know it’s dire
And still, it’s what we want
Are you scared of our desire?
In this mire, we’re tired
Beginning to perspire
The only ones who hear us now
Are partners to conspire
It’s dust, skin rust
Our spirit’s outer crust
It’s really only flesh and bone
Who cares if we combust?
Yea, we […]
To be fair I hate my self just as much as you hate me… I don’t need a fucking reminder of why I disappoint everyone and why I am nothing but trash… Treat me like the most vile disgusting creature on the face of this universe because I have no soul left. You’ve taken the last little but I didn’t even know I had… FUCK YOU!!!!
FUCK ALL OF YOU!
I used to love you. But you fucking broke me. I can’t have one normal conversation with another human, I can’t smile. Can’t laugh! Because you broke me. You ****. I hope you rot and are miserable for eternities. I used to only be suicidal, now that’s changed into homicidal. I used to be sad, so sad. That’s gone now. I don’t feel anything, except ANGER now. Pure hatred. I think if it was my choice to let you live or die, i’d finally smile, watching you burn. I fall asleep thinking about, I dream about it. Dream of your death. I fantasize over it. […]
It’s my body. I should be able to do with it what I want. I know assisted suicide is legal in some places, for people with terminal diseases. But it should also be legal for those who have depression. What is the point of living if we feel there is nothing else left to live for?
Dear love, I’m honestly scared. Your voice is everywhere. Are you there? I am not ready for this. There’s so much about you, love, I miss. Do you know that I’m lost? And you left me here on my own. Songs live on but I’m dancing alone. Where is my lullaby? Sometimes I forget you’re gone. You’re all I have, known for so long.
It seems so unfair but the sun still shines and the waves still crash and the wind still blows. I will carry on, what choice do I have?
So i left off with that abusive fuck i think i was on when i was 16. Okay so here goes part two….tried to get away..i started dating this othey guy i dated him for 2 years he treated me really good he helped me alot…i cheated on him though in the beginning of our relationship with the abusive fuck because he threatened to kill himself i talked to him tryed to make sure he was okay. I eventually told my bf what i had done he was really upset i dont blame him he didnt blame me either. I hated myslef though he was […]
Today was good. As good as it could have been. I spent the day with someone I’ve missed quite a bit. Things really could not have been any better. But I can’t shake this feeling. I’m so tired. I’m on the verge of collapsing with no one there to catch me. So what’s left? I could pick myself up and keep going… But I don’t know how. I could end it all tonight. I kind of want to. But I’m scared. Is it stupid to be scared? I feel like I’m failing miserably. At everything. I just don’t think there’s anything left for me to […]
Well this is something new for me. I have never posted anything like this before. Im not sure why. My life doesnt seem terrible by any means compared to some of the things Ive red on this website. I have a supportive family, friends who care about me very much. I am an educated individual who served in the military and holds a good job now. Then why may I ask do I struggle every single day with ending my life? The last 4 months have been a 180 degree change. I lost the love of my life through my own faults and coming to […]
I have hurt a girl. Not just any girl. The girl I am madly in love with. I can’t live with what I have done to her.
I left my wife and kids for her and fell in love…..like forever love. She had been hurt and abused by men in the past. I lied to her by sleeping with my ex the day I left to be with her. I wasn’t honest about it and now she is broken. She compares my hurt to the time she was raped and left for dead under a bridge 18 yrs ago. I never meant for any of this […]
you see? I don’t even know what to title this because I don’t even know how I feel. Actually I do; I’m worthless, useless like my brother says. I’m a freshman in college. I only got to finish fall & winter term because just today I got told I got dropped out of college. I’ve been distracted because my ex boyfriend left me without a reason. Yea it’s stupid to be sad over a boy but it’s something I can’t control. I gave this guy something I always treasured. He told me he loved me & he showed me he did. I am so confused […]
Heart wide open
I’m am the chosen
Lost and broken
So many words left unspoken
Oh how I wish I was more outspoken
I try to sleep but I’m always awoken
Nightmares, eating at my soul, an empty soulless erosion
I have nothing left, I am emotionless
Make no motions
My mind reopens
Racing thoughts it’ll soon be an explosion
Self destruct in 3……2…….1….
I don’t know why I’m posting. I guess because I can’t share this with anyone else. But I have 4 more days to go. I’m both at peace and afraid. I’m afraid I’ll fail. I can think of nothing worse than failing. My method I hope is as foolproof as anything can be but then nothing is ever 100%. My plan is meticulous. But once it starts I cannot stop. Even best laid plans may be interrupted though and as long as I haven’t started I can delay it. I hope I don’t need to though.
I want so much to go through with it. I […]