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Seems I’m not alone at being alone..

by mick9999 2/25/2015

written by mick9999

Hi all,

I am a bipolar, drug induced psychosis and suicide survivor.

My life was such chaos before diagnosis and I honestly don’t know how i made it out alive. I’ve had a few serious attempts. When I say serious, I mean more spontaneous, not planned, I was caught downing three months of antidepressants, had material rip when I tried to asphyxiate myself and my dogs eyes stopped me from driving us over a cliff. I have also had my cry for help attempts. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live either. I wanted help, so I would tell someone that I was […]

2/25/2015 2 comments

Uncomfortably Numb

by greystreet 2/17/2015

written by greystreet

This isn’t a “woe is me” post and I apologize in advance if it comes across that way. I dont think my issues or my life is any worse than anyone else here. Im presently numb and seem to be somehow getting more and more so as the days pass. I feel so absolutely and completely overwhelmed that it’s like I cannot handle anything else so I have become numb. I have been severely depressed and suicidal for awhile now, but have tried my best to hold on. There is nothing left to cling to.

My injury seven years ago left me with continual physical pain. […]

2/17/2015 2 comments

am i stupid?

by alexmckim 2/16/2015

written by alexmckim

I really am stupid arnt I? After everything you’ve said and done… I’M still here praying you’ll see me… my heart filled with false hope as I stay up all night waiting for a single word from you. Only to be heart broken every night. You left me and ended our friendship because of something I didn’t even do. Just an excuse they say. It’s just a reason for you to walk away. I truly an stupid because Im still here waiting… praying that it’s not over… that you’ll keep your promises and what you’d said weren’t lies. But the longer time passes the thinner […]

2/16/2015 2 comments

I don’t know anymore

by notanymore 2/15/2015

written by notanymore

I don’t know what to do anymore and I could use some advice or something. On January 18 my boyfriend left me. He was the only reason I had to keep going. He was my only happiness in the mess I call a life. We had been together for four months. We’re both in high school- he’s a senior and I’m a junior. He just moved here from another state and has been through a similar but far worse past. We understood each other, or I thought we did. We were good for each other. The last month we were together my medications changed. I […]

2/15/2015 1 comment

Still Here, Regrettably

by Matt 2/12/2015

written by Matt

Well, I’m still here.

The last time I tried to do this it was so easy to get away and to be alone for hours, with no chance of anyone checking on me.

Woke up this morning, I didn’t eat because I didn’t want to. Nothing tastes right anymore. Had a shower, the warmth of the water felt nice. I forgot myself in the heat. I’d wait until she left, get the belt and go. Only she wanted me to go with her to visit relatives. After a shouting match she apologized to me and left.

Excellent, I’d been set back by half an hour, but that was […]

2/12/2015 3 comments

living here will be the death of me

by 12ccht 2/12/2015

written by 12ccht

My mother resents me so much. She always has. I was always the reble, the introvert, the undesirable fat one, whenever the family was dressed for an occasion, I was left home alone. So many nights I wished somebody would’ve just broken in and murdered me. Now I know for a fact my mothers life would be ideal without me. Her words tear me apart. I want to fix myself and lose weight and be confident for once in my life but she could care less. I hate living like this. I wish someone would end my miserable life, I would be erased and forgotten […]

2/12/2015 1 comment

any one of you can have my gun…

by xxxgunns 2/11/2015

written by xxxgunns

If it is to keep your life. No warning, i’m pulling a major trigger tonight. Last year 2014 (i know its hard to remember that passed) on september 11th as survivor of war left her suicide note here. Her note ended in the most hurtful self loathing lie that anyone could tell themself. This person’s handle here was trippylikenirvana. The tale she tells so clearly of her most early traumas are left to haunt us not by the images they bring forth in our minds, but by the utter cloud of confusion that formed around her after. This woman experienced a trauma early in life […]

2/11/2015 1 comment

Nothing but confusion

by myownhero9422 2/11/2015

written by myownhero9422

To be completely honest, the thought of taking my own life is terrifying. I’ve thought of it a lot of times, but I can’t seem to find any other way out. I’m only 20 years old, for many life is just beginning, but for me it feels like there is nothing left ahead. I can’t continue in school, I can’t afford it even with scholarships and financial aid. I have other options but they all end in debt. My life at home is bad, my parents argue all the time. They never really listen to what I have to say. I get yelled at for […]

2/11/2015 1 comment

Yet again..

by HereticBlood 2/9/2015

written by HereticBlood

Starting over.. I’ve done it again… I was doing so good but it’s back to this.. When will it end?! I try so hard to understand it all but I can’t.. Nothing makes sense.. Questions forever left with no answers ..

2/9/2015 1 comment

Stolen..

by HereticBlood 2/9/2015

written by HereticBlood

Stolen pride
Stolen innocence
Stolen future
Stolen heart
Stolen mind
Stolen life…

Nothing left..

2/9/2015 1 comment

self-hatred, trapped in hell, my freaking fault may offend you

by silvermoon 2/8/2015

written by silvermoon

Please dont judge me for writing this. I need to get this shit out. You aren’t perfect either, so please dont judge me. Life is a cruel thing, self-hatred is all I am left with, living in a rural place with only snow for company and these terrible things. I can’t shut my perpetrator’s voice off. I can’t shut off the demons. God must really love me, yeah, to punish me so fucking hard. Tired of God. I missed the boat with housing years ago and now will be punished in hell forever b/c of it, forever hating myself, all I want to do is […]

2/8/2015 5 comments

loneliness and purposelessness in college

by teana 2/6/2015

written by teana

I’m 22 years old and have a year left in college…I don’t really have any close friends and had a tough break up recently. I cry a lot because I’m depressed and lonely I guess and have thoughts that I’m awful and unworthy all the time and a feeling that there’s nothing I can do to change it. I try to be passionate about my artwork but have begun to question whether that has any meaning or value whatsoever. I used to get enjoyment from that but for some reason I’ve been stuck thinking that it’s wrong to be passionate about something that doesn’t involve […]

2/6/2015 10 comments

Empty

by the12thdreamcatcher 2/5/2015

written by the12thdreamcatcher

People assume that when you are depressed, you are just sad. But in reality, you just feel empty. Like nothing really matters, because at the time, nothing does. You are just stuck in a haze. Your heart is beating and alive but your soul isn’t and sometimes, you don’t know what to do about. Pain comes before depression, and there still is some left during it. THAT is depression.

2/5/2015 1 comment

The Heaviest Weight

by greystreet 2/5/2015

written by greystreet

I want to die. At least I think it’s what I want. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be nonexistent. If what I have been living these past 30 some odd years can be classified as life then I want just the opposite. Death sounds so dark, so evil, yet the thought of it feels so peaceful. Ah Peace, I don’t even remember the last time I felt your embrace. I’m so tired of fighting to hold on; so tired of struggling each and every day to not give up. I have no fight left. It is long gone and I […]

2/5/2015 9 comments

yeah

by silvermoon 2/1/2015

written by silvermoon

Yeah it doesnt really help to have people posting saying only I can solve my problems. NO offense, but I know that. Im trying to express pain. Do you have ptsd from being sexually abused, do you know the myriad number of symptoms? mine was so bad i ended up on the street. my flesh is battered and worn from years of trauma. i want off disability, out of this cold and triggering hellhole where i live right now in new england, no bus on the weekends, last two cars i had more or less blew up, old and worthless after a few short months, […]

2/1/2015 6 comments

Confused

by ojorangejuice333 1/25/2015

written by ojorangejuice333

i’m fairly lost, and i have nowhere left to turn,

I’m not sure what i want anymore.. i had my goals i had everything set up and ready for me, then my walls were crushed by all the pressure bulldozing me down and i cannot take it anymore.

I think about suicide a lot, but i know i could probably never go through with the act, just because i feel like i cannot leave people behind, my sister suffers from depression and my mum does too, and there in a different country to me, but if i do kill myself they would be so broken and then […]

1/25/2015 1 comment

exclusively for self mutilators

by cathy arsis 1/24/2015

written by cathy arsis

i decided to post this bc i see so many on this site burdened by this affliction, and this is something i have struggled with for years…there are cuts and burns on my thighs, shins, shoulders…my favorite is my right arm, i’m left handed…most of these wounds originated in my teen years, and although i’ve tappered off to a large extent, the urge still rears it’s ugly head from time to time…..the evidence of this dirty secret on my left arm are so numerous, and so obvious you can see them from outer space……this was never my intention, i suppose i am susceptible to over […]

1/24/2015 12 comments

Today.

by unbrokenangel 1/17/2015

written by unbrokenangel

So today sucked.

It started off with me telling my mom that I had a girlfriend and her going on this long ass rant that basically amounted to her not being okay to it and when I asked she flat out told me she wasn’t. Then it was an awkward car ride and an awkward day at the barn where I felt unwanted. Then when I came home I kinda just kept to myself until my lovely sister comes home and freaks out on my because the bathroom was a mess when all that was left out was the dog shampoo and their towel and brushes […]

1/17/2015 5 comments

I miss my ex….But he hates me.

by BrokenHope 1/16/2015

written by BrokenHope

He’s the only guy to never do me wrong, I should have never left him. If I never left him in the first place, I wouldn’t be cursed with this issue. There’s no hope in love for me anymore, I’m gonna die alone, just like I came.

1/16/2015 1 comment

Water Place

by Bisban 1/12/2015

written by Bisban

Elise, that you are
And that I am
Respect
Do we have to justify anything
I know the reflection of one
But do you know of mine
A pain that never-left
Ultimatum-balance
Break-free are the fish
Aquarius
Do you know, of the daemon-rot
Incarnation, do you know why I walk
Maxima, the only path, to reclaim
Of a child and his story, and I found
For you, and everyone
We need to decipher to the stone right-away
‘Cause I can’t take another second of this
Holy-Knight, forever to the debt
Sakura

1/12/2015 4 comments

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