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i found it

by noir 8/4/2014

written by noir

I found the only thing stronger than grief, pain, and despair its name is what we call fear

On the 31 of july i woke up whit just one thougth on my head the thougth of dying i planned everything that very morning, yeah i even wrote here i just needed to talk myself off before well you know crossing over, im not a writer so im going to say the things as they happened and everything i felt on my self frustrated “try”

I phone called my gradfather in order to check if he was going to be in home (nobody suspect my condition, yeah im […]

8/4/2014 3 comments

I did wrong.

by iwantmylifeback 8/4/2014

written by iwantmylifeback

I’ve been suicidal for a year now. And well I just recently graduated high school and a lot of things are going really really bad. On graduation day there was a party and I regret going to that party so much. I took my girlfriend with me not knowing that that would be the last time I would ever be with her. The way things went down was that I was drunk and I was not myself being suicidal for a year you feel really good want you to these things. So the thing was that I went to go talk to another girl and […]

8/4/2014 3 comments

Don’t You Wish We All Had Amnesia?

by Lily_of_the_Valley 8/3/2014

written by Lily_of_the_Valley

“Amnesia”

( by 5 Seconds of Summer )

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fineAre you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you […]

8/3/2014 0 comment

Initial Contact

by darkseraph777 8/2/2014

written by darkseraph777

Hello everyone. A potential suicidal from Brazil right here. So, needless to say, English is not my primary language. I truly apologize if there is any kind of grammar mistakes on my reports here. Honestly, it is my first time posting something in a site such as this and I’m a little insecure of what to write here, but I decided to try and make contact and – I don’t know… See what happens. I don’t think it’s wise to keep all this torment to myself. If is ok with you, I would like to open up just a little… at least just once.

It is […]

8/2/2014 12 comments

The answer everyone wants ;

by torrencegee 8/1/2014

written by torrencegee

Why me? Why does it have to be me feeling this way? Why anyone? Can’t I have a piece of happiness instead of this poison eating the real me away. I’m rotting. I’m no longer myself. The only feelings I have are my self-inflicted wounds. The only feeling that brings me out of my numbness, that is. Why can’t I have the support I need? I never ask for anything but for someone to shake me and bring me out of the dark. Someone to tell me I’ll be okay. Someone to tell me I’ll make it, because I’m slowing fading away.. I’m not sure […]

8/1/2014 17 comments

Why Does The Rattlesnake

by Bisban 8/1/2014

written by Bisban

March, August first.
Another block.
If by chance, by tomorrow night.
I thought, now all that is left.
To the death.

Rendered in shredder.
There are no souls on the black side.
Like the bat, face your fears.
No matter, I will go.
From underneath.

Drag my own chain.
Rubble, run away to zero.
The table and the plant, welcomes.
From the ground, the old man says.
There’s yellow-***.

Tourbillion, the air disperse.
I was never there, my life never existed.
The forever melancholy.
To destroy “Babylon.”
Grace of death; resurrect.

Welcome to the funk.

8/1/2014 0 comment

Bubble theory

by RCW 8/1/2014

written by RCW

Many times have I imagined myself disappear like a bubble, and the memories of me residing in everyone who knows me will be erased as well as I vanish. It sounds silly, I know. I wonder whether anyone has ever had the same thought as mine. An ideal death is the kind that there is no pain to the deceased and no pain to the people who are left behind. I think my bubble theory should suffice. One can become vulnerable and strong at the same time for the people they love. This bubble has a longer life, but it is still a bubble. Its disappearance is just a matter […]

8/1/2014 1 comment

Mommy?

by HippieGurl 7/31/2014

written by HippieGurl

I don’t want to cut anymore I don’t want to smoke But what reason do I need to stop for? You wanted me to change and I did I became a whole new person just so you would be proud of me and where did that get me? It got me nowhere your still not proud, I don’t want to be a mini Jasmine or Laura Jr. I want to be Mya and Mya wants to dance, sing, run away with her guitar and write music. I was happy in Oregon I had a bunch of friends and almost had a boyfriend But you dated […]

7/31/2014 1 comment

Robbed, betrayed, humiliated and left with few options…

by cagedtiger 7/30/2014

written by cagedtiger

I can’t begin to describe the hell that I’ve been put through for the last 8 months. I won’t even try. All I can say is that I have been scammed, robbed, taken for all I have/had and left to suffer the financial consequences, the shame and the betrayal. I can’t believe that someone that I helped through the worst times of their life could do this to me. Bottom line, they robbed me for close to 30k.

All I can think about is that if there was ever a time to end my life, now is it. This is rock bottom. This person has made […]

7/30/2014 16 comments

no other option

by 04825413 7/30/2014

written by 04825413

I feel cornered.
The past six years of my life, I’ve been telling myself it will get better. My friends, my family, the various therapists I’ve been to, they all say the same thing: it will get better.
But now that I’m here, I realize it’s not going to get better. I’m going to be crippled by this black hole in my mind for the rest of my life. There’s no cure. I’m not interested in leading a life marked by this strange, hellish pain. I’m too tired to put up with it anymore. As much as I want to love my life, there’s simply […]

7/30/2014 5 comments

Protected: A diary of the misery and last days of pain

by neddyboi 7/26/2014

written by neddyboi

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

7/26/2014 8 comments

Daddy’s Lil Soldier

by Khumz 7/23/2014

written by Khumz

My Father Was Ex-Commander In Chief In The Army.That Mustve Messed Him Up Becoz That Man Was Anything But Normal!I Couldnt Call Him”daddy”Or”my father”Becoz He Wudnt Allow It.Made Me Call Him”sir”Or”Mr(Last Name)”.He Treated Me Like I Was One Of His Army Groups Or Whatever.This One Time,My Mom Was Working Night Shift So It Was His Turn To Come Fetch Me From School.He Came Hours Later!He Found Me Crying Cold,Hungry And Alone,Said Some Shit Like I shouldve Walked If I Wanted To Get Home Earlier(I WAS 8YEARS OLD!!).My Dad Wasnt The Emotional”come give me a hug”Type.He Was A STONE,Or Anything Harder Than That..Tar..He Was Tar..Concrete!He Would […]

7/23/2014 3 comments

Who am i? What am i? Am i forever?

by Pope 7/21/2014

written by Pope

“It starts out with a question. How much of it is real?
The skepticism sets in, and lessens your appeal
Next, you study conspiracy, develop some theories
And become extra wary of all your previous learned material
Your tolerence for stupidity degrades
Most of your friends seem to be trapped in the maze
You narrow your associates down to the few you can stand
And even they sometimes wonder what’s going on in that head of yours
You study east and western philosophy, psychology, physics
You think […]

7/21/2014 0 comment

Grey

by Dollycutter 7/21/2014

written by Dollycutter

What a fine day to wake up grey. The color leached from me while I was asleep. I am the uncolored thing moving about the house today.

I want to see red. The only color left is underneath and sometimes I need to see it. I have an itch where the portal lies and I drink coffee and fantasize about opening it with a knife.

I’m sick of the masquerade that makes me invent little accidents to justify the damage to my exterior. Everyone knows I have to open up and let the color out every now and then. And despite the subtle brutality of […]

7/21/2014 2 comments

Hate

by DeathDreamer 7/20/2014

written by DeathDreamer

I HATE EVERYONE. This is not a fucking poem. Why am I still here… I feel a distant pain echoing in the caverns of my heart.

This life I am living is not a life at all. Despair and hopelessness, in 3 years I’ll be 30. Nothing to show for it. No stable job, no friends, nothing left but my insanity. I don’t wanna go on. Can’t wait until it’s over and I’m free

7/20/2014 3 comments

Too free?

by CatMan 7/19/2014

written by CatMan

Over the past two years, things have been pretty rough.

I’m a fairly successful 40-something, a good job and a reasonable house. I enjoy some great hobbies and am pretty competent in a competetive sport.

However, I have recently lost both parents due to terminal illness and then, because I was unable to support her emotionally, my wife left me for another man. Somebody I knew.

We had been married for nine months.

She was significantly younger then me and, despite trying for a long time, was childless. We had been trying for much longer than we’d been married but it just wasn’t happening.

After she left me, I got […]

7/19/2014 2 comments

Survival one night at a time

by Dollycutter 7/19/2014

written by Dollycutter

I made it through the night,

Even though my ghosts were screaming at me and so was the baby.

Even though I listened to the voice inside rant and rave about all my flaws until sleep surrounded me.

Even though I cried until there was nothing left.

Even though my dreams brought misery instead of release.

Even though that knife sang to me a song of salvation.

Even though there was no one here to stop me if I’d tried.

7/19/2014 2 comments

by ladylazarus 7/17/2014

written by ladylazarus

Murderous bastards!

The unholy gleam takes it’s root

Splinting and shivering in every pupil.

Pupil, pupil- dilate as such!

Show me movement in your harsh breeding;

The curses fall from your lips and spatter onto my face.

They are like pennies, new and heavy on my skin.

The skin! Around my eyes it is purpled, like dark fruit,

And tissue-thin; it often hurts me.

Poor weakness! Hard eyeballs cup themselves in my sockets

And weigh me down like a hole in a boat.

I am too meek for this heftiness.

My soul claws and sobs to me like a sleepless baby

And there isn’t anything left.

The sweet sunbeams, the dull peonies

Are as empty as my heart, and they […]

7/17/2014 1 comment

Pardon me….

by RealTalk30 7/14/2014

written by RealTalk30

Excuse me…I seem to have left my pain laying around here somewhere..have you seen it? It’s black and fowl and twisted and I just can’t seem to hang on to it anymore! lol call me butter fingers if you must but it keeps on slipping away!! 😛 lmao!! Anyways..if you see it, it’s labeled “loathing of a lost and forgotten soul”. It might be walking around aimlessly somewhere here, just thought I’d check again. Let me know if you find it’s sorry little bitter ass! lol
Thanks! 😉

7/14/2014 2 comments

Scars

by Jacob Tyler 7/10/2014

written by Jacob Tyler

I have scars on my arms from endless self harm. I am depressed all the time. I have times where I don’t want to live anymore. My thoughts in my head are like burning flesh. I cut to relieve pain, my emotions. I always think cutting is the solution to everything. I take the razor to my wrist, and i cut and cut until there’s nothing left. I’ll cut until I bleed onto this page. And I’ll find words that can qualify my rage. People can be cruel, and i need a way to deal, and up to this point, A razor is all that’s […]

7/10/2014 4 comments

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