I’ve been waiting to buy my own bottle to end my life with and im terrified. As though I can’t possibly do it, but im going to make myself. I like life, I cant stand myself and all the things I don’t know.. Im not very excited, just sad. am I crazy to feel I dont want to do this but its for the best? fuck, whats crazy anyway, I know this is for the best. why am I so afraid.. I dont want to do it myself.. it astounds me everyday that I live alongside humans that can build skyscrapers, entertain millions with their […]
I’ve been acting for my entire life, and I’m getting tired of it. However, every time I try to stop, people immediately begin criticising me and start comparing me to other, better people. I’m not useless. I’m a bad example. I used to be the person that everyone wanted me to be, but now I don’t know. I don’t know whether or not I should live. I don’t know whether or not anything is worth living for. I don’t know whether or not this is a bad dream and I’ll wake up soon. But mainly, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face this. […]
I have so many regrets in my life after I graduated college. I have many friends but I feel depressed at times. I am the youngest in the family and my parents are so over protective to me. I should be home before 8PM. Rules are rules. No boyfriend after college. No drinking of alcohol. No smoking. They are over manipulating me. I am not a robot. Especially my sisters, they always control my life. I hate living anymore. I had a boyfriend. I met him at my work, he’s my co-employee. We’ve been together 7 months from now. He’ s my first boyfriend, First […]
I am so close to having every thing I ever truly wanted, so why do I still want to kill my self….why am I rejecting life
Lonely
The word that will describe her forever
It’s carved into her mind
It’s carved into her wrists
Unwanted
By people
By guys
 By family
Makes this person slit a vein
Used by
The guy she loved
The guy who hurt her
The guy who lied
The guy who taught her how to fly
Suicide
Was what ended her life
Hi everyone. I am new so I will introduce myself but I’ll try to make it short. I’m a 23 year old woman who was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar at age 13 . It has been an ongoing struggle for me ever since. I frequently self-harm and have attempted suicide three times in the past. I also suffer from bouts of binge-eating and anorexia. Through the years it seems that when great things happen to me, they always end in disaster and I end up in a worse spot than i had been before that good thing happened to me. And each time it […]
I want to die I am so sick n tired of life I really need someone to talk to… 🙁
Maryam_bi@hotmail.co.uk
I’m a disturbed individual, but what else is new.
lately, on my worst days I’ve been fantasizing what would happen to my corpse. Â I don’t want to rot in a box to turn into some lifeless fossil, nor do I want to be left as dust in the wind.
All my life, I’ve failed. I don’t deserve a noble burial. No one should cry for me in a church. I don’t deserve nor want a blessing or ritual.
my only request would be to be a useful corpse. Lab geeks and scientists can pick at my organs, nerves, or bone; or my molecules and their electrical charges be […]
A new one came in today
Another drugged up junkie high on his last paycheck
Can’t remember his name, in a few days it won’t matter anyway
Bragging about his last score, his last binge, the best place to get more of the drug that leeches the life out my people
How can he talk like that? How can he boast about this destructive lifestyle of murder and morphine? Is he proud? Is he proud of where it’s gotten him? I look at him with disgust. That drug. That evil fucking drug that has destroyed thousands of lives, my friends lives, my life, and he’s […]
This is what I was told today:
Calculus isn’t even difficult, but fuck that. It’s gonna get harder, and…you should switch your major. There’s physics, (which requires Calculus II), and statistics, and linear algebra, and you suck at math. And algorithms and data structures are math classes; and so is foundations of computer science.
Yep, great way to live life. If it’s hard, fuck it. Every rational person does that.
People suck. Way to be supportive.
Pen to paper, ink on the page
Unable to let flow the words I made
A block, a wall, something in the way makes it feel like these words are fake. My heart, my soul, my self I used to pour in the paper
The lines, the truth printed out in front of their maker, never forced never coerced out of his mind but now those same words I’ve written a thousand times seem hard to find.
Have I drank the well dry? Is it because I’ve gotten too happy to cry or feel empty inside? Is that where my inspiration was derived? Where my […]
Well this is my story.
I’ve always had depression since I can remember. I never thought I had a chance at a regular life… I’ve had a pretty rough childhood and teenage life. It all started when I was 5. Something terrible happened to me and it changed me in so many ways. I’ve never been the same ever since.. I’ve been rapped multiple times and I’ve was beat growing up by my step father and when I was 14 I found out I was pregnant and my sons father always hit on me, choked me, and controlled me in every way possible. We stayed together […]
Whenever i look around me, i see people smiling, people hugging, people caring about each other. i guess im just another stupid girl though. i fell in love with a boy who goes to the same school as me. i see him every day and it hurts me because im still tryin to get over him. he sees that im in pain but he goes on acting like nothign is wrong. i try to find the courage to talk to him but all i end up thinking about is death. i dont want to keep on with this pain. i want it to finish and […]
Hello everyone, I’m back again. This time I couldn’t make it to the imagenary two week line, rather I crashed down hard yesterday after I came home from the University and needless to say the thoughts were back once more stronger than ever. I’m not willing to give up but I feel like a vent is in order and who knows maybe it’ll give you people a small crumb in getting forward.
So how did it start this time? I suppose the first surfacing of the emotion of not wanting to be on this planet, in these shoes or life came the last Saturday. I felt […]
The blade gleams in the moonlight
A drop of cursed blood spilt at night
On to the dirt and the mud where it feels right
And tears from an empty husk mix with the blood and mud at dusk
The thoughts flow like water, getting caught in the rapids of this martyr
One less life to plague the earth
From ashes to ashes and from dirt to dirt
Perhaps one day someone will learn
The call of a thousand muffled voices
He can’t tell the difference between the memories and the ghosts toying with him
He can’t hear reality’s call, so subtle and soft in […]
Depression is an illness and so is bipolar but life is a disease for which there is no cure. I’m sick of these fuken feel good therapists- they live inside a bubble that they wont break out of fear,and have permanent rose coloured glasses on-maybe ignorance is bliss- if it doesn’t penetrate the mind then it doesn’t matter . What about them god lovers they live in their own worlds too if something goes wrong they see it as a lesson from god and praise and are delighted by this! Nothing makes sense anymore -and nothing really matters!! No one can see behind the masks that […]
I keep dealing with difficult situation after difficult situation in life. And now, I am so used to turing my thoughts over to suicide, that it does this, automatically. That sort of “process addiction,” as it is known. But, I canot help it cus it gives me a sense of relief to know tht. Not only does having these types of thoughts make me feel as though I can have some kind of control in my messed up situations and life, but that I no longer will have to suffer. Just one problem… I don’t want to stop enjoying life, itself, […]
I often ponder death wondering if its better than dealing with the pain walking around broken beaten and just done death is always the answer that comes to my mind at least it seems like the easy way out
I suffered a brain injury 5 years ago and came out of it pretty well considering. Last summer I suffered another injury that has caused some of my brain injury to come back along with new problems. I lack impulse control and I’m severely depressed and get angry easily. It’s just a matter of time before that lack of impulse control triggers me to act on my depression. Even without that problem I try and talk myself out of committing suicide. It would be so much easier for this life to be over.