I don’t want to do this anymore…

I’ve been acting for my entire life, and I’m getting tired of it. However, every time I try to stop, people immediately begin criticising me and start comparing me to other, better people. I’m not useless. I’m a bad example. I used to be the person that everyone wanted me to be, but now I don’t know. I don’t know whether or not I should live. I don’t know whether or not anything is worth living for. I don’t know whether or not this is a bad dream and I’ll wake up soon. But mainly, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face this. I don’t know if I want to either. It just seems that everything has lost its meaning, and everyday is a struggle. I don’t care about my wellbeing anymore. I just want to die, and it wouldn’t hurt anyone because nobody cares. My parents have told me that they wished I was never born repeatedly, and I don’t have any close friends. My family hates me because I’m not perfect like everybody else, and I know that they would throw a party if I died. I kind of want to hang on to life just to not give them that pleasure. I know it’s cruel, but they have made my life hell, comparing me to everyone else, and telling me that I was the biggest disappointment of the entire dynasty. I don’t care about school or anything anymore. It just seems so freaking pointless. I don’t know…