Just a thought, but does any one else feel the weight of your future, and notice how light it is? Do you feel like whatever lies in front of you will be so minuscule that it’s not really worth fighting for such a small success? I don’t know, call me a whiny ***** but I can’t really get my mind off of it lately. I guess I give off the same vibes as any other depressed, jobless sonofabitch. But I can’t say I blame me, or anyone else for feeling that way. When you get sucked into a state of depression, or are overpowered by your […]
My mum had always romanticized death. I suppose she thought she’d pass away, be found, and after some tears and a funeral, people would get over it. To say she was wrong is a vast understatement. I know my mum, and if she knew things would have turned out the way they did, she never would have done it.
Being that this is posted in what the effects of suicide has on friends and family, let me dump it all out.
I last saw my mum on a Friday and told her I’d pop by on the upcoming Monday or Tuesday. She seemed totally fine. I woke […]
depression is like trying to find your way in the dark your lost pumping into things and falling over all the time but hopefully one day we find the light switch
thanks for the support today guys it’s appreciated * hugs * *fist bump *
tomorrow another day for the battle to be continued
Just watched the documentary on the Golden Gate Bridge was a good documentary about suicide there was one story that stood out to me there was this one man who wanted to be a manager of a games store the day he committed suicide he got the call for the job he wanted it shows you never know what’s round the corner I hope things get better for all of us I hope soon the light will shine though the darkness I hope our path will be lit up so we can finally know where we are going
In the beginning there was darkness, and that seemed like all there would ever be. Then something amazing happened. A massive burst of light lit up all of existence while simultaneously creating it. In my case, the darkness would be my life. Not chaos, and there was no pain, but there was nothing to light it up, nothing to justify its existence. Then she came into my life, and it all became clear. I no longer feared the depths of myself, and I felt like the invisible hand that seemed to crush me from all sides loosened its grip. It was pure randomness, chaos that […]
Broken and empty. Only a book of memories and no life prospects. Fake smiles and a fake laugh that doesn’t even fool the deaf or blind. Through the motions of grainy and redundant. Isolation fills my heart and my life is unkind. I cease to exist not to take my own light. If depression sets in it is an option, I might.
I don’t want to build a spaceship that travels at the speed of light or create replacement organs. I don’t want to figure out a clean abundant power source or a better way to grow produce either. I don’t want to do any of that nor do I want to participate in this stupid Capitalist system. I really don’t want to explain how socialism is not the same thing as communism and why a socialist president would benefit a semi-Capitalist America.
I don’t even care about the fact I was a guinea pig for now-commonly-used prenatal devices in Cali or the fact I helped preserve my […]
So, I just found out my best friend’s brother died from terminal illness. I know I should feel sad for him but I don’t. I realize he is Hurt but a part of me just wants to watch if he’ll Break from this. The loss he is feeling right now; I can’t sympathize or feel empathy for. God, I feel like a Monster but there is a contradiction.
Why do I want to save her? If I’m as evil as I think I am, the logical thing would be to leave her to her Pain and let her drown in the sand… Her […]
I don’t know anything about you but I do think it will be a shame if you leave this world. Intelligent people gaze at the moon getting lost in the night. On the other hand, foolish people stare at the sun blinding themselves in the light. The sun starers think they are powerful but their blindness deludes them. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power.” One group can only see nothing but the other group can see everything. Do you know which group you are, Trix? From what I gathered, it’s the group that can see everything, However, you wish you were a part of […]
So, I had a great last day. I swam, I surfed, I fell off my board a few times, got smashed up the last time. Pic to prove it. I laid on the beach, I just got down with a long soak in the tub. I’m changed and I am about to go down soon for a very light last meal. I know I have to have a empty stomach in which to take “N”.
My last night is beginning….I’m waiting […]
It’s ironic how our life experiences are meant to make us the people we are meant to be but they seem to be crippling us at the same time pushing me right to the edge is this my destiny to live in the shade were the light in the dark ?
Feel so stuck like everyone around me their lives are falling together and mine falling apart I’m in the dark and everyone is in the light moving and I’m staying still and alone in the dark when people say things get better do they really ? That’s one thing I fear now after after my 2nd attempt what happens if I stick around and they don’t get better
What makes me really suicidal and want to give up is that fact that I have sooo many issues. If I just had one or two then they would be manageable but there is so many battles that must be won, only to have another one appear and I have to try again.
I dont think Im that strong, if I could win them I gladly would, I dont have the capacity and looking at life realistically tells me that I never will.
How can I overcome my social phobia, my addictive behavior, my fear of success and performance issues, my inferiority complex, my bad memory, my […]
I woke up this morning seeing the bright light from the sun.It was 11:11 am,I must’ve drink too much alcohol last night that I feel a lil’bit tipsy this morning.I was talking to a friend in which I have lied about something,still,she can’t decide if she’s going to stay or not I think I deserve it anyway.I lied to people who cared and accepted me.Im a bullshit.She might stay or not,nothing will change I’m still going to be free on Feb 1,in the arms of death I’ll find comfort.
I let back in the most beautiful demon. He took all my trust, stability, emotions, happiness. But he came back and I floated up to the surface. I felt like living so he played his role and left and took the last piece of me that was clinging to my shell. How do you hold on when you can feel feathery oblivion right beneath your feet? How was I supposed to love myself when I watched everyone find nothing worth loving in me? I want to be back amongst the living but its too hard. I thought maybe it was all a test of my […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The curtain rises and the group enters the second area; the graveyard…
Nicole: It’s spooky, you can see graves with our names on it, too. The full moon is pretty, though.
HDS: It’s so cold, though. I can even see my breath!
Rocketman: The last one was a circus-themed maze so what is this one?
Zetsumei picks up a light gun shaped like a revolver and a katana then says, “This looks like a shooting area. Everyone pick your weapons.”
The others pick various bladed weapons and firearms. Although, Rocketman picks up a light gun shaped like a rocket launcher…
Zetsumei: Really?
Rocketman: What? It looks cool. Besides, you’re one to talk […]
Hello, everyone. This is a short play about fear and its meaning. The first act is called Reckoning.
The curtain rises and Zetsumei is seen sitting in a chair and is drinking something in a wine glass while reading a newspaper illuminated by a single light. He then takes out a cell phone and calls several people about a new attraction that opened up recently. The light slowly dims as Zetsumei smirks while the wine glass slips from his fingers and breaks on the ground.
The next day Zetsumei is seen staring at a cliched haunted house attraction then says, “Hello, everyone” before turning around. Zetsumei sees […]
I’ve been in bed all day . I feel absolutely nothing.
Except sadness . I wish I had people that loved me , friends .
Anything to make a light brighten inside me .
I can’t stay home any longer. I think I am going to go downtown and get coffee and see if people are playing music . I love it down there . In the arts district. People just play jazz on the streets. No one pays them any mind except me .
That’s how I feel. No one pays me any mind .
Today is hard . I wish my time was up.