It’s just… quite tasty.
Tag:
loss
I hate to be a pest but I’m going to have to extent my unrequited love story to reflect on the loss of losing something you worked so hard for. Friendship is a very transitional thing. My experience with friendship is that it’s organic and eventually just dies. People either move away or they stop associating with you – you just become a lost memory or something to be ignored. I say this because recently I became the something to be ignored – something to be looked through and not at. The jokes are no longer shared – the tears are only seen by you. […]
I’m ok…well, sort of. I think i’ve moved on from kicking myself for ruining our relationship. Well..mentally. I can look at couples and not have an overwhelming urge to vomit. I can go outside, breathe, smile, laugh and be over all happy. What I don’t understand is the nausea and loss of appetite. It’s been forever. You’d think after a week or so, you’d start having some type of appetite. I have nothing. Every time I eat, I get really nauseous and need to sit very still for a long period of time. I then, go to the bathroom, and wait to throw up. I’m […]
I was sure I loved him. It was something I’d never felt before. I lied to him as a defense mechanism and came clean not 24 hours later (not an excuse) and he broke up with me. This process took over 3 days for me to come forward, and his processing. I spent 3 days crying my eyes out and now I feel nothing. I’m not sad. I’m not crying. Nothing…I don’t feel loss. I feel….kinda happy. Can anyone give me a peice of logic or reality to hold onto? Is my brain/body just confused? I’m more distressed at my lack of emotion than I […]
I’m not sure if I’m depressed or I’m just feeling the blues. I am sad, but nothing traumatic or stressful has happened in my life. I deal with constant thoughts of suicide, but I know that my family would be devastated if I died. My mother already deals with anxiety, and a couple of people have killed themselves in my family. But I’m not experiencing weight loss or gain, and my sleeping patterns have not changed. I feel this big sense of hopelessness and pessimism, and people have told me that I’m very emotional and sensitive (although I try not to be).
I cannot take it anymore. This year I have experienced the loss of two friends, my grandad and my closest friend. I cannot cope with any more loss. Nobody cares that inside I am drowning and cannot cope all they see is themselves and all my mother can talk about is the one loss she has experienced this year. Anything I say is wrong and I am a failure I just want to die
the ex finally left again. that is a good thing, but that old feeling of loss and lonliness always return when she leaves. she was not the reason i tried to kill myself. i tried to kill myself because i do not know how to live in this world. i dont understand it. it dont understand me.evrything that was familiar and comfortable is gone. now, evrything is new and frightning. why is doing the right thing so hard?does the emptiness of loss ever go away? does the pain ever stop? each day i become more withdrawn and reclusive from society. hiding and hoping no one […]
It’s over. I lost the only one who was able to save me from my loss. I am definitely a monster I destroyed him and his life. I know he loved me, he cared about me, he was so good to me. I screwed up every thing.. I wish I could be another person, a normal person without depressed reactions. Want to die so hard right now. Please kill me..
That is the question.
Do you guys ever dread going to bed, no matter how tired you might be, because you know once you get there you will be attacked by fear, sadness, loss, emptiness, and gut wrenching wailing, sobbing, the kind of crying where you don’t care if the neighbors can hear you, where the tears and snot soak your pillow, where you just can’t stop no matter how long it goes on, how hard it hurts, you’re locked in a fetal position, terrified, petrified, and lost..
That hell that’s been my head these past 26 years has gotten the best of me.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago and even though i thought learning about it would help me, i’m still the
same fucking mess, still failing at everything and the worst is i have learned i can’t do SHIT about it.
And I am tired of this.
I’ve had enough of the stuggle
I’ve had enough of feeling stupid and ridiculed by people i call my friends
Enough of this emotional rollercoaster which has crashed years ago on depression mode
Enough of believing i’m surrounded by caring people until […]
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
—Even […]
Love to me is the look in my families eyes, my Mothers regrets and pain stab me through my Iris and cut through my heart when I glimpse into her aura. Bipolar has take over the family since the beginning, and my family still wonder why they are all so confused yet so content. I cannot lie to another, it burns my soul if I have to deceive another.
Every day is a reminder of my childhood, sitting against the cold damp step, hugging the bricks hoping to generate bodily heat. Alone and cold. This was my earlier realisation coming into action. “I am alone in […]
I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]
I’ve lost yet another person who meant a lot to me. One of the few people who truly encouraged, inspired and believed in me. His funeral is tomorrow, and I don’t know if I can deal with it. He was a close family member, and our bound was something I took pride in. He became paralyzed at 19 through a swimming accident. He’s been quadriplegic ever since I can remember. I never saw him through his disability/handicap. I saw him for the person he was. From a really young age I started taking care of him when he needed help. He came to be someone […]
According to dictionary.com…
Salvation:
1.the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction, etc.
2.the state of being saved or protected from harm, risk, etc
3.a source, cause, or means of being saved or protected from harm, risk, etc.
Why is always easier to be someone else’s salvation?
Why is it always easier (or is for me, how about you?) to be stronger for other people?
Today I have a loss again. Someone who I thought I loved and loved me back. Someone who I sacrificed for once upon a time. Someone who I fought for once upon a time. Someone who once upon a time gave me a reason to hold on. Someone who once made me feel warm. Someone for whose sake I picked up the pieces even though I was broken and left dead once.
But I don’t need anyone who doesn’t appreciate me, right? They don’t deserve me. And I myself don’t deserve to keep struggling stupidly for someone who doesn’t appreciate my efforts.
From now onwards I will […]
“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depths until the hour of separation.”-Khalil Gibran
Today has been a heart-wrenching day. I woke up knowing it was the 2 month mark of when my little brother took his life. It has been a devastating loss that has shattered my world. He is a part of my soul and always has been and I feel tremendous loss.
And then I received an email this morning from a dear friend known here as Iamzero, stating that he was sorry but that he could not go on any longer and wished me thanks and love. Love […]
It’s never ending. Every time I recover I get hit with another blow. I’ve made it through trial after trial, never knowing how I ended up on the other side alive. I’m not going to tell my life’s story in my first post on this site, but I will give some insight. I’ve lived the majority of my life alone. What time I was around people; “family”, shelters, fosters, etc.; I always felt different, unwelcome, crazy. I’ve contemplated my death since the beginning of my memories, in a way it fascinates me. I’ve just never had the balls to actually go through with it, I […]
i need so much help.. im basically completely alone in life, i have no friends i suffer from severe depression and basically my only and best friend was my father. it kills me to say that he passed away and now im at a loss of what to do i love him so much..
My life is a thrill ride, I swear. Three weeks ago, I had friends checking in on me to see if I had killed myself, yet…A week ago, I was on top of the world. I was feeling great. I had no worries and didn’t even feel the back twinge of depression. Now, I’m back down. This time, I feel like I was tossed off a skyscraper and the impact is forever engraved into my bones. I am back to not feeling any type of emotion except apathy and sadness. I am at a loss and I don’t know if I can crawl out of […]