I’m not sure if I’m depressed or I’m just feeling the blues. I am sad, but nothing traumatic or stressful has happened in my life. I deal with constant thoughts of suicide, but I know that my family would be devastated if I died. My mother already deals with anxiety, and a couple of people have killed themselves in my family. But I’m not experiencing weight loss or gain, and my sleeping patterns have not changed. I feel this big sense of hopelessness and pessimism, and people have told me that I’m very emotional and sensitive (although I try not to be).
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2 comments
If you’re constantly feeling down and depression/suicide runs in your family, it’s probably a good idea to reach out for help. It’s good that you’re aware of both how you feel and your family history. Indeed, your family would be devastated. Sometimes working with someone can provide a little support and strategy to help you move forward. Maybe it’s a good idea to speak with someone?
Based on my own personal experience, I would say you seem to be depressed. Depression, like you have said you are feeling, is a prolonged feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Nothing traumatic in your life has to occur, but sometime must be off with your brain chemistry. We have certain neurotransmitters which help us with feelings of excitement and pleasure, and being depressed is normally due to the low level of the chemicals in your brain. It’s not your fault and yes, thoughts of suicide are normal. I would only start to worry if the thoughts change from passive to aggressive. As in thinking ‘oh wow, I could fling myself of this bridge and die, but I won’t’ to ‘tomorrow I’m going to take forty sleeping pills and nothing can stop me.’ Your mother’s anxiety should not stop you from receiving treatment if you feel you need it. If I was a parent, I’d rather have my child on medication or something than constantly worrying about their state of mind because they refuse to talk about their feelings to me. Like all things in life, it’s only temporary.