I can not anymore
to think everyone would be better off without me, all could live better, could do more things, I realized how much I never should have been alive I feel I am insignificant, I’m a nuisance, I am nothing
I’m bad at all
for my parents I am disappointed, I have bad grades, do not talk to my family, I do not talk to my sister, I have no future at all, I’m a bad person, I’m a bad friend, I’m a bad brother, I’m a bad boyfriend I am a bad student, I’m bad at all and simply and has caused […]
Tag:
lost all hope
I literally don’t know what else to say except for “I just can’t do this anymore” I am divorced from a man who abused me to the point that I don’t even know who I am anymore. He is VERY wealthy and is currently in hiding in Denmark with my daughter whom he went against court order and kidnapped. She already had a passport signed by both of us because we traveled quite a bit for his work.
As of right now he cannot be found. I have run out of all my savings due to having to pay 2 lawyers, one here in the states, and […]
A new development has arisen, not only do I feel like the world has abandoned me but it seems my few friends I have left have too. None have spoken to me since I was kicked out of school, the sister I spoke of previously was recently kicked out because she didn’t want to do the work involved for year 12. The school however gave her more help then they ever offered me, I was shoved to the side and told to leave however they gave her 2 months to catch up, they gave her a tutor and said she only had to do 2 […]
I am watching the Saw Series and the main character “John Crammer” intrigues me. It is interesting how he revitalizes people who would have otherwise been irredeemable if he hadn’t captured and given them a series of tests that push human tenacity to the limit.
Apathetic individuals who’ve lost all hope are given a lease on life when John Crammer paints a gory spectre of death right in front of them. It’s surprising how their lives change when they pass these tests. They cease to be self destructive and live normal lives.
But these are just movies anyway. Real life is a lot more complex.
I don’t know what to do anymore… I’ve been suffering from clinical depression for about two and a half years now, and nothing that i have ever tried has ever been able to help. The incessant feelings of pure worthlessness, self-hatred, and pure relentless sadness are becoming very overwhelming at this point in time and I don’t foresee it getting any better anytime soon. I’m just sad, all the time… and its so bad sometimes that I just find myself crying for hours, and i am tired of it… tired of all of it… I feel like a burden and a problem to everyone around […]
As the title states. Within the week I’ll be dead. I just need to make sure I get last minute things taken care of before I go. I have a few attempts in the past. Wrist cutting never did the trick no matter how deep I went. I’ll hang myself this time. I have the rope already set up at a perfect length for a drop hanging. And I know where I’m going to do it. I have hopes and dreams like most people. I unfortunately will not have them fulfilled. I am ex military, married but separated and had 2 girls with my wife. […]
I’ve been super depressed since 7th grade. I thought about cutting all the time and wanted to kill myself. That’s all I would talk to my friends about, and I lost many because of that. All through high school I have been doing everything I can to get better, but nothing worked. I couldn’t tell my parents because they wouldn’t support me, which means I couldn’t get on medications for it. I was about at breaking point my freshman year of college. I just pushed through until my 18th birthday. I finally got into the doctor to get some medications and was expecting a quick […]
It can’t hurt to post :). I’ve been suicidal now for a few months, and have come to accept it as where I am now rather than resist it. It has guided my decisions, I am off abroad to do wwoofing with someone that I have been in and out of relationship since I knew him. Truth is that only now that I am at my worst can I see his true beauty and see how much I love him. He loves me completely too but so much that it scares me cos I don’t feel I deserve him. He even loves me now when […]
It’s a funny thing blackmail, they take something you have and force you to exchange something else that you have.
It’s purely threats, they could have information or photos of you and they threaten to show the world, even though it could get them in trouble. If you aren’t strong enough, you’re basically their slave.
Recently I’ve been a victim of blackmail and I’ll tell you this, it’s ruining my life. I feel worthless everyday, it’s forced my friends away from me and overall it’s made my depression so much worse. I’ve never been good at maintaining a good and healthy mental condition, now I feel as […]
when youve lost all hope of ever being happy again whats left
when youve lost interest in everything you used to care about whats left
when you feel completely lost and hopeless whats left
when your whole life falls apart around you whats left
when it seems like the world is going on without you whats left
when everybody elses happiness makes you miserable whats left
when just waking up makes you feel like shit whats left
when negative emotions are the only ones that remain whats left
when you see death as the only way to escape the sorrow whats left
when the pain […]
As I sit here typing with shaky hands, I can only think of where I’ll wander when I die. I want to know what it’s like to not have a worry in the world, where the stresses created by my own mind cannot reach me. A fifteen-year-old mind should not be thinking this. But I have lost most of those I care about, either by death or by abandonment. I’ve tried time and time again to “just push through it” or “just be happy.” But it isn’t that simple. Not at all. I’m ravaged every night by nightmares that leave me screaming for someone, anyone. But […]
Sorry in advance for any spelling errors. I’m writing this on my phone.
Hey guys! How’s it been going? It’s Lucy! It’s been a long time, hasn’t it ( Holy hell it’s been since September :O )? I wonder how many of you actually remember me 😛 So I’ve got some catching up to do.
First of all the reason why I’ve been absent from this site for so long is because I’ve been going to a therapist and she tells me to remove myself from the negative influences around me. I was a bit pissed in the beginning but it made sense. I deleted […]
oh Yay! There’s another baby on its way today.
As she swims around in her mothers womb, if only
she knew that it was too soon. For her mommy was
taking too much med. Now everyone had to stare blank ahead.
As you lie there in your sweet baby bed going through overdose
they waited for the doctor to diagnose when we could take you home. Two
weeks pass and you’re no longer left alone.
As you’re carried into the doors of life,
“Welcome to hell” the sign on the door should have said.
Reaching your destination will all be in your head. “Last call
for the train heading nowhere fast.” The memories you create […]
⊗
Tonight the pain will stop.
I can not  hang on any longer.
It’s hard to bare the pain.
 I’ve lost all hope.
All I see is darkness.
They is no light in my life
 I’ve tried so hard.
To find hope and happiness
Just to face failure in every turn.
I’m lost and broken.
I’m unrepairable.
tomorrow will come.
but i’ll be gone.
⊗
This is the beginning of my end, it is all my fault so I blame no one even though my parents and friends will all blame themselves. I’ve been researching the best way to end my own life for a few days now but I can’t decide which way I want to accomplish the deed. I think I am going to try helium, it sounds the easiest and least painful way (even though I probably deserve to feel pain since I am such a disappointment to everyone). I have plans to visit the local party store to rent a helium tank as well as acquire […]