So I’m 21 nearly and I had a girlfriend for close to 3 years.
We were perfect for each other, but as we all do we had our fights, some alot bigger then others. However about 2 and a half years in i was going to propose when we were on holiday, things didn’t go quite to plan and I never got around to it, that’s beside the point. She left me on Easter this year and has been sleeping with many others. I guess it hurts because I was her first everything, emotionally and physically, but now I’m stuck with manic depression and suicidal […]
Tag:
Lost
I don’t know, what has happened to me. I was brilliant in every field, art, sports, studies, acting, leading, my passion” photography but I think life had some other plans for me. My life is completely soiled because of a serious addiction, pornography. I am honestly writing that i don’t see women as sex objects but somehow I find momentary escape in pornography, escape from my past. But because of that addiction, life seems to be ruined and there only seems one way out….suicide. I have had the best life one can imagine. Perfect girlfriend, perfect parents, best of friends but not the best of […]
Lost and confused…
Im not quite sure what’s wrong with me. I have been struggling with certain “awkwardness” issues my whole life, and have been extremely depressed for about the last year or so. I now feel helpless, I feel like all this struggle is pointles, and I have found myself contemplating suicide on the daily now.
I have always been known as the quite guy and have never been much of a social butterfly. It is hard for me to make new friends or to work up the courage to even call the ones I already have. Its like I have a deep fear of having […]
God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
I like to consider myself recovered. However sometimes I still have the thought of suicide enter my brain. It catches me off guard. Sometimes I want to act on it. I don’t exactly want to die. I have a lot I will be leaving behind. I am so tempted to cut though. I crave it actually. I can’t because I’ll get caught by my boyfriend. He will see the cuts and I can’t stop him from seeing them. I want to cut and I hate that I do. I don’t want to get locked up again. Sometime I wonder if I do this all for […]
I don’t know what to do, I’ve been cutting since Fall 2013 and I just love the feeling, I hate being depressed but also love it at the same time. I recently got a boyfriend and he absolutly hates me ever being sad and he won’t let me cut, and if i do he’ll get really mad and will yell at me. I always feel like he wants to say “I hate you” if i do something wrong like cut myself. I really miss the feeling of cutting and I don’t know what to do.
For a while now I fight with myself and his voice. The voice that says I love you in one breathe and “whats the survival rate of melanoma” the next. Your such a great mom to our daughters but I’m gonna go ahead and keep them from you because I’m an a hole and I can. For years I have felt the only way to get away truly from this man is to die. The thought doesn’t even phase me because I know how real my feelings are and the truth it holds. Either live a living hell every day with this man telling […]
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
I’m writing this because I’m thinking of doing something bad. I’ve tried to commit twice before, obviously they both failed. Tonight everything has gone downhill. I have no one to talk to or no where to turn. Everyone has turned against me even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I just wish I could merge with the ground and disappear. It would make so many people happier. I’m a failure that can’t do anything right and I wish I could be a better person. I’m just a lost cause. I’m crying into my laptop right now and I’m confused as hell. Why does everything and everyone […]
Life is boring , boring life. why movies, games, anime/manga, & fantasy/imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
Im so young and so unhappy. Lost in a world of pain. I wake up everyday with hopes that it would all just disappear. I want to be better, to feel better to be happy but I can’t. I’m struggling, ive reached in every possible direction for support and help and some sort of guidance but in the end im left with myself and the fury of thoughts that run through my mind and veins controlling me. I love my family and I love my friends but theirs only so much I can take before I break and damn it I think im breaking..
Heart wide open
I’m am the chosen
Lost and broken
So many words left unspoken
Oh how I wish I was more outspoken
I try to sleep but I’m always awoken
Nightmares, eating at my soul, an empty soulless erosion
I have nothing left, I am emotionless
Make no motions
My mind reopens
Racing thoughts it’ll soon be an explosion
Self destruct in 3……2…….1….
Which is it, I don’t even know. Both maybe. I’m 30 years old and mentally miserable with my life. I’m alone and no one understands. I was with my partner for 2 years when she decided to kick me out because she couldn’t handle my depression, anxiety, social disorders and PTSD due to so much trauma, deceit, abuse and neglect in my life. It’s been this way since I was young. I thought my world was complete with her. We did everything together and I was even starting to socialize more with her friends coming over, visiting, us hanging out on the porch together. […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
Anyone there?.. I could reaaaalllyy use a quick chat
hello all…im new to this site hopefuly itll help somehow..even thu im not sure whats gonna help me anymore..
im filling up surveys and stuf…and it all shows i have severe depression and needs to be under treatment asap…
anyways…my situation goes like this..im 22 yrs old male..and im unemployed and ill just..cut it short and say i cant handle things anymore..
i once could..now i cant it just a feeling i have idk how to explain it..each day i feel worse cuz im depressed..each day i thinks of how killing myself and ..one day soon itll happen i know it..i feel it..
im ..pretty paranoid person…as a result […]
Like the title says; i have lost ALL interests. There are still some people whose companionship I prefer above others but one hand I prefer to be alone but still need people around me at times. Currently I get this at work and after work it is enough; this is exactly like in my high school years.
Again I am reading a lot.
I am reading mostly read about older civilizations and technology.
My issue is how the world is being run. What they say about dictatorship is that most people prefer it because it is simply less messy. But we need one in the […]
My life has truly been a rollercoster these past few months. Ups and downs left and right ….. I wish I could see where my future would take me to see if its even worth all of this constant heartache. Every time i take one step forward I feel like I take 5 steps back…. I had a child with who I thought was the love of my life, he was cheated and lied to the most with in the first 3 months of being pregnant …. I decided to take a chance and leave him to look for a happier life…. That has lead […]
So I’ve been fighting through terrible depression for a lot of years. I was in an abusive relationship for over a decade where my insecurities anxieties and depression were used to keep me blind and dumb. All my friends have moved or disappeared. I was not raised to communicate or express myself properly.
All of this has lead to me just spending my days wishing I could die. Apparently this would upset too many people.
My question is why can’t I? Why can’t I have what I want? I just want peace. I don’t feel like a real person anymore and I just want to […]
Well I’ve lasted the night out, and half of the day so far. Except I can’t help but realize what a danger I am to myself. When I get suicidal, I become irrational, and as soon as a little bit of rationality gets into my brain, even if I am still suicidal, I become afraid of myself. I become afraid of what I can and will do to myself. Others don’t scare me, I don’t have monsters in my closet, because I am that very monster that haunts myself. Even today I’ve tried to jump off stairs countless times already hoping I would hurt myself. […]