For a while now I fight with myself and his voice. The voice that says I love you in one breathe and “whats the survival rate of melanoma” the next. Your such a great mom to our daughters but I’m gonna go ahead and keep them from you because I’m an a hole and I can. For years I have felt the only way to get away truly from this man is to die. The thought doesn’t even phase me because I know how real my feelings are and the truth it holds. Either live a living hell every day with this man telling me how I’m a whore, a horrible person, a bad mom, a loser…. make me feel like my children are better off with me dead than alive. I believe you Charles. Or… i can just die. No fighting. My girls live in peace. Its all i care about is them not having to listen to him daily badmouth me. Uuuugh. Get his voice out of my head!!