Well this is it the end of the line for me at only 15 year old and I can’t naturally smile or laff I’m now an alcoholic and a drug abuser messed up and I hear voices in my head so I am going to end it before I turn into a phsycho ***** and kill someone if I kill me then it won’t be a big deal I have no family or friends will anyone realise I’m dead I don’t know and don’t care I have got to the point where I don’t care if I live or die it will feel the same […]
My big brother is one of my “newest friends” we never really got along but last fall it all changed. My mom knew i would always cut, then one day she told my brother about the marks on my arms(there pretty big, i like to burn the skin and cut it out) when my mom told me i didnt know what to think, i wrote a long note of how i would stay up at night to see him and make sure he got home safely, he always got in trouble with the […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
I found out I was Pregnant about 4 months ago. I took two pregnancy tests and both came out positive , that night I started to Spot blood. Everyone Said it was normal, but My body was saying something else. I started having tummy pains and I couldn’t eat or drink anything with out me thinking it’s nasty. The next morning I was Bleeding a Little more so my opinion was that since this is my First pregnancy that my body wasn’t used to me not having my period so I didn’t think bad thoughts. Well now my Stomach is in complete pain and now […]
You messed up again , u Had Nothing to Prove .Â
U Don’t Love me , whats their to Loose …
You look me In the Eye But All u can say is Lies, made up Stories and Fake Alibis ..
How Can I Be able To trust when   I stress to Much, I’m confused to Kno if this love or is it just Lust …
I Cry so Many Nights SleeplessÂ
Trying to Win the Fight,Â
Hanging on to this relationship really tight .Â
Now im Loosing my gripÂ
My heart is Sinking like a flooded ship ..
Still hanging on at the […]
theirs a lonely girl im the corner of the bed . Crying about something that her nana just said. She is nothing to every one and every one is nothing to her … Going on life like this she see’s it as a blur …going place to place,home to home ,trying to fined some one that would make her feel loved … But to her thats something she’ll never be apart of … As she’s crying all alone in the corner her bed … She’s remembering the hurtful past that forever stays in her head ..she wants to die of all the pain that people […]
Life was hard growing up. When I was a child I was surrounded by drugs, nasty men, abuse, rape etc.
My mom was not like the moms you see on TV, she had supported my brother and I by stripping, she also sold and was addicted to drugs. She was clinically diagnosed as being bipolar, and schizophrenic.. She always put drugs above me and my brother. most of the time my Nana would take care of me but only when she wasn’t working. My mom, the main person who was supposed to be my protector let numerous men in and out of our lives. The last […]
I am a person who has destoyed so many people throughout my adult life. I met my husband and he was married at the time, I got pregnant. He did not have a good marriage, or so I was told. He left his family for me, and we had our baby.  He still had his family, and his children came around at first, but that ended rather quickly. So we had another baby a year and a half later, and we had our family. His parents did not want anything to do with us, which I completely understood. I was hurt, because I was lied […]
My son ,my only son decided he was just too tired and left me and his father in a very dark abyss.
This is all very fresh and I fear it will be that way for the re,mainder of our days.He left us in April of this year
and I haven’t once stopped trying to find answers or insight as to what now? I have managed to get my hands on some very good reading material but I really wish I could get a grip on this.I recently found this web site and I have to say It has helped me not to be afraid of life. […]
These past few days I’ve been talking to this young woman I will not say any names out of respect for her. But she’s had a really tough week, I texted her yesterday, I said “Hey, just checking in on you. I hope you haven’t ended your life. I hope your reading this.” I thought about her all day, she finally texted me back last night, she had taken the pills hours earlier. She said her liver was already shot, but I didn’t give up hope for her life to go on. I talked her into calling 911, I was so proud of her, and proud of myself for […]
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall;
Some hand in hand,
Some gathered together in bands,
The bleeding hearts and the artists
Make their stand;
And when they’ve given you their all, some stagger and fall
After all it’s not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger’s wall.
– Roger Waters, The Wall
I try to remember it’s not their fault I feel bad. I shouldn’t shut out the people I love. It’s really hard to not want to hide behind the wall. But I need to be better.
I took 12 lortab and nothing happened. Tomorrow I think I will take 20 and all the xanax  I have. I cant stop from breaking down. I always get abandoned. I always get used. I am tired of the loneliness, I miss my ex…I dont know how I could just be disgarded like garbage after all the love I have given. Why do people lie and say they love you when they only want to use you.
My heart is just broke, it wont heal…I am tired of living with this pain…it just wont go away….I am invisible nobody will miss me anyway….
To Z and J,
I don’t know how things ended up this way. Was it my fault? Was it your fault? Does it matter? I just can’t believe we’ve ended up where we are. I was so in love with you. I am still in love with you, I think. Despite everything. I guess that makes me stupid and crazy. I know you don’t care about me anymore. Even worse, maybe you hate me. Maybe I deserve that.
I’m so hurt by how you’ve acted since we broke up. Remember how we cried together, hugged, and said we loved each other? What happened? When did you start […]
By reading most of the post’s here really revolve around love. Or lack there of. Usually a father or BF/GF thing. I know some of my issues stem from relationship shit. Why do we insist on letting our selves be torn apart by the opposite sex?
I was scared because I haven’t really felt anything at all in ages. No sadness, no happiness, no pain, no tears, no fear, no excitement, no laughter, no love, no hate. Just apathy and indifference. And not feeling anything scares the shit out of me, because I think that feeling all these emotions, good and bad, make everything real. And nothing felt real. And for a while it was good, because often feeling nothing is better than the level of pain I feel at times. But then feeling numb gets cold and sad and even more depressing than the sadness itself.
But this morning I […]
Hi. First off, something I want to say is that no matter how bleak things may look, you are strong, and you can make it through this. <3
My story starts about 5 years ago. all through elementary school I was always the most outgoing and fun-loving girl in our little town. I was never without a friend to play with. That all changed the day of my 11th birthday party. It was the most fun party I had ever had. I was so happy because my dad picked me and my friend up in a semi-truck to bring us home. we got there, and there […]
I’m so in love with your smile.
Your laugh.
your lips.
Your sweet eyes.
how you held my hand.
How we danced in the night.
Every holiday together 🙂
Kissing in the rain.
Point is.. I did you wrong and I’m so sorry.
I wish you’d take me back.
I love you so much.
I miss you so much.
Ill wait.
Forever.
u say u love me more then ur life
u say im the girl u will eventually mary
u say u will never forget me
u say im the best gf u have eva had
u say how strong ur love for me is
u say im beautiful
u say u would do anything for me
til u decided im worth nothing cuz now i got my phone and ipod taken away 4ever u want NOTHING to do with me. u say if we cant text or call there is no point in making an effort.
WHY did u say all those things […]
This song means a lot to me.. Not sure if anyone else can relate.
Versus the world – Love every scar
I fell in love every scar on her wrists
And sad eyes told a story of every
Great thing that she’d missed
She doesnt call here anymore
She didn’t even say goodbye
Just a kiss blown to
The wind we didn’t catch in time
This can’t be right the night has just begun
And I already feel like I’m dead
I know I shouldn’t hate myself
I should be blaming this on you instead
Instead I’ll rewind these weeks in my mind
And I don’t think I’ll […]