There’s this boy and we have liked each other for a while and now its on and off with him. I get really caught up with the fact that some flirt has to hang around him all the time and make me jealous. She acts like a dumb blonde whenever she’s near any guy. He doesn’t know that I do love him and cry about him because I think he’s beginning to like her. I doubt she likes him like I do, I know who she likes and for once he liked me more than her. I feel like she’s trying to get back at […]
Tag:
Love
Here I am. I’m told I’m great. Good looking. Smart. Kind. Talented. I do many things. Have loving parents. Have loving friends. Have people who care. Even with all of these things, I’m stuck. It’s like an endless circle. I’m sad and angry, then numb. I feel numb so much of the time…I…I’m not even sure what I feel anymore. I mistook my content with my gay friend’s compliments to me, as a love for him. I’m a straight male. I know this because I’ve tried to have relationships with other guys. It was never right…it never felt right. I never kissed a guy, because […]
My family tree aint that good, Dad is an ass hole, always sayin I cant do nothing , mom hates that im not girly they both hate the fact im lesbian I want my future family tree to be better than what I have I want my girlfriend tgat ihave now for 2years to be my wife, have a beautiful home 2kids and a puppy.. NO yelling, NO abuse, NO put downs just being a happy family :’) :/
She was sitting in her bed looking up at the ceiling blasting her music;
She started crying and she knew exactly why;;
She felt useless and alone;
She was very angry;
All of her love started to turn into hate;;
It was like a switch turning off;;
She didn't care anymore and why should she;;
you just broke her heart without thinking twice;;
Don't try to deny it don't try to fight it;;
You say you love her so much but what you keep doing is the opposite;;
Your words mean nothing;;
Its not what you say but what you do;;
And your just proving your story wrong;;
the girl wondered why she was so imperfect […]
From my last post I the comments I guess it’s clear that some understood and some took their spin on it. Oh well :3 I think I will post something on here every day. With no one I want to listen due to overbearing and unreasonable care this is perfect vent. I want to say that I love my girlfriend so much. She loves me. We don’t fight, and we have the occasional argument along with disagreements. Today, sigh, like many days… My parents are gone and were alone, “locked” outside but alone. It seems that she will tease me to no end. I shall. […]
Me I will tell you in all honesty that I have serious anger problems and I am saddened  by it. I have always tried to keep my anger on the inside cause
I believe it would hurt more if I display it on the outside. Â I lately though have discovered that my anger has more control over me then I do. It’s
scary for me to type that but it’s true. I have only had one girlfriend and as of today I am stopping with any form of communication with her. I broke up with her because she wanted to choose between me and her ex who […]
Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meet are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]
Hi , so i went to the animal shelter today . I saw soo much cute dog’s and cat’s  , and many of the dog’s we’re sooo happy to see me in a long time . I love this one dog who’s name is Heimlakka he’s a 9 month old dog who’s always happy … i love Heimlakka because he has adorable eyes , if you look into his eyes they make you think … his eyes are sad , dark brown and sentimental . He makes me happy . 🙂
Then there was one cat , i don’t know what his name was , […]
It is so beautiful outside! It is really warm and sunny. Â just look at this blue sky, such a deep blue…
Here I am sitting in my apartment, looking out of the window, wondering what is live for.
I am so disappointed from live. Everything has come different then I thought. All those people I don’t know. All those people who are outside having fun together. Why? what is so funny about being outside with people you barely know? I don’t want to meet new people, it is so exhausting, always introducing myself and almost every time I check them out and know that we won’t become […]
How do you love yourself,
When you can’t even reach the shelf?
When do you cross the line,
on the migrations so fine.
Living the dream,
or thats how its seems,
slowly fading away.
What do you do when no one calls your name
and they look at you all the same?
And when they take the chalice
they build such a fine palace.
Dreaming a life
o thats contrite
fading the picture away.
What do you do when you give everything away
the garage sale that gave way.
Do you haggle the price
when you have nothing nice?
Goods for sale
er, yea they are stale
please don’t go away.
What will you say,
to someone who wont stay?
Hello, everyone.
Not so sure what to say. This is my first time ever posting anything on a website for, like, 3 years. So please bear with me 🙂
Basically, I literally feel entirely worthless.  When I was growing up, my mom was an emotionally distant alcoholic, and my dad was emotionally and physically abusive. They were both also extremely over-protective and critical of me. My dad is probably the most negative person I’ve ever met. I don’t think I have ever heard him say one positive thing about me and really meant it. When I was younger I tried to over-achieve and impress him, but the […]
I am living to make people happy, I’m known as the colorful rainbow who brightens up the day where ever i go,I try to make everyone happy so im always smiling and im nice to everyone and when ever anyone needs advice they come to me. I remember when i was so depressed and suicidal and used to self-harm all the time but i don’t do that anymore, now i look at the workd differently it’s like one morning i woke up and realized there was nothing to be sad about,there was nothing to hate. Whenever j was really low i would always remember “there […]
Where to begin is hard. Then again nothi ge come easy. I’m getting older and more mature obviously but to me, I think others see me as a child. I dont honestly think I’m suicidal. I couldn’t be. The outside looking in my life is complacently perfect. I would be viewed lucky by most. Friends, a loving girlfriend, well liked, two parents, grandparents, a job and not a lot but a reasonable amount of money. In reality though- my best friend is leaving me for a group off cocky self obsorbed pricks; we were close, always different but he was indeed my best friend. My […]
Well. Life just keeps getting shittier and shittier. I thought I was ok. I thought I can do this! Im stronger then this! Then I fall. And i fall hard. I thought I was ok so I went to a party. Had a good tine then my world fucking crashed. I just balled my eyes out downstairs. I truly wanted to die. Again. It will happen one day. Im goinig to crack and just do it. One day im going to be gone. The world will go on without me. Years from now my name will be forgottwn. None of this matters.
I guess not […]
So I’ve thought a lot about why my incessant mind always draws me back to ending it.  I’ve been down that thought pattern too many times to know that it accomplishes nothing.  Every time I get to the breaking point, I can’t help but consider my family and those who know me.  They hold my hand back simply by knowing I exist.  I never decide to stay here for myself, but selfishness is so tempting.  To imagine an eternal sleep that never involves the harsh ups and downs that life causes.  That’s why I really do love the “to be or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet.
I don’t suffer […]
I guess I should start from the beginning. My name is Sunshine. Well not really, but its an alias. I don’t care if my punctuation is that great either. I have been there. Maybe my life hasn’t been as bad as a lot of people, but I am fighting my own demons. I have always felt like an outsider. I have a list of things wrong with me. I don’t currently take any medication for anything either. I have attempted suicide as well as have cut in the past. I still get very depressed every so often. And I don’t like talking about it because […]
I am surrounded by people yet I am so lonely, my husband doesn’t love me, thenonlynman that did is dead, my dad, my mom adores my brother that have taken from me my life, money love and I work hard for everything. My own husband doesn’t provide for me less emotionally. I a a piece of meat. I’m lost so tired I just wishnJesus would come for me. It was a mistake to be born. I don’t fit in and I am worthless to all. Now my greatest joy mynjob isntakingnanchange formthenworse, and all I have is a computer to type and hope that […]
i fell in love with this one girl her name was samantha right from the bat i knew she was suicidal but that did not stop me… i thouhgt she could help me escape… she and i were very similar in many ways… people would tell me we were soulmates… we were sappose to die together that was the plan…but i wanted to finish something before i died she had agreed that she would wait for me and she did… little i knew the more she waited the more her pain… our pain grew… i told her to use my body in hwat ever she […]
When I listen to music I find that it makes my mood like more if that makes any sence. If i’m happy and listening to music I love like some of Eminem songs I will get more happy but if im feeling down or depressed and I listen to sad songs I feel more down and sad and feel how the music is. Does this happen to you?
I know that it is hard being Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender, or Intersex. I know because I am bi-sexual. My family and most of the people I know don’t understand how it is and don’t really accept me. They think that it is wrong and that I should be straight because it the the “right” thing. I don’t give a fuck if it you think it’s right or not. I am NOT changing who I am just for you. I like the way I am. I prefer girls more than boys because I have been hurt by mostly guys, but that’s not the same for […]