I am surrounded by people yet I am so lonely, my husband doesn’t love me, thenonlynman that did is dead, my dad, my mom adores my brother that have taken from me my life, money love and I work hard for everything. My own husband doesn’t provide for me less emotionally. I a a piece of meat. I’m lost so tired I just wishnJesus would come for me. It was a mistake to be born. I don’t fit in and I am worthless to all. Now my greatest joy mynjob isntakingnanchange formthenworse, and all I have is a computer to type and hope that someone gives a damn. Even if it’s for a little bit.
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I think that’s a common feeling ’round these parts…lonely. But you’re among some friends and people that can relate.
I’m sorry about the loss of your father, if he loved and cared for you he sounds like a good guy. Wish your husband would give you some of the attention and support you deserve :/ Have you talked to him a bit about it? It was not a mistake for you to be born, why do you feel like that? Why is it that it seems you don’t fit or that you’re worthless? Sorry my brain is a bit jumbled, but what happened with your job?
Well I give a damn.
It makes me so happy to see your replies, I can’t share my feelings with anyone, my husband thinks I am too dramatic, at my job I put on this mask of everything is ok and smile. Inside I’m dead. My brother older by seven yrs, has always stolen from me, financially but mostly emotionally. He once told me he wished I was homeless and having to beg him for my very existence. My mom did mouthing. He is the golden child. I am old faithful, o desperate for attention looking at myself makes me sick. I’m tired because I am the primary bread winner and full time mother homemaker. I am just too tired. Oh and I am always wrong. My husband never takes my side against anyone doing me harm. I was attacked furring a family function at my moms by my brother, yet I was asked to leave and as two ppl were hitting me my husband took our small child and left me to defend myself. Mind you I have never been or come from that the of environment the attack was crazy. I would love to get therapy but I rather spend the money on my child’s therapy he has been diagnosed with autism plectrum disorder. I rather help him. I just want a friend, I can’t afford to die because I’m not sure anyone would care for my children, therefore that isn’t even an option. I feel trapped.
Please, never ever ever think that no-one cares. I myself don’t feel suicidal but I’m battling depression. Three years ago, my best friend moved away, and his mum contacted me telling me she thought he was getting bullied, but he wouldn’t accept any help. Every time I tried calling him he made excuses, and he finally admitted to me that he was self-harming. A few weeks passed and he eventually stopped answering my calls. One day he rang me about 5 times, but I was so angry with him, “Why should I answer the phone to him, when he couldn’t to me” “Why should I just do what he says?”. He sent me one final text saying “I’m sorry, i love you xxx” before overdosing on prescribed medication he found. Now I am plagued with guilt, i think about him everyday, even now, wondering if I had picked up the phone, what might of happened. He must of felt so down, so alone and unloved, but he wasn’t, far from it, I loved him more than words can say, and now he’es gone, and I feel like i’m to blame, so please love, please don’t ever feel like no-one loves you, because I promise you, from the bottom of my heart they do. Imagine if your husband, or parents, or brother killed themself, how would you feel? You would feel awful, consumed by grief. COuld you really do that to them??? Don’t feel guilty for thinking this way, but please, think of all the loved ones you’ll be leaving behind, because trust me, I’ve been there, and its absolutely awful. Could you really do that to them??
Please, sorry for the rant, but please take note. You are wonderful X X X X X X X X
I know guilt, my dad died and I feel such guilt for not praying enough or helping him enough. Since his death I have never felt protected. I have army share of pain early on. My life was a fairy tale then hell.