There is this man who once abused my sister at age 13. This man had never laid a hand on me. Then one day, my sister did something that got her sent off. This man had no one to take his anger out on… he wouldn’t touch two innocent young boys, or a fragile schizophrenic mother, no he went for me, the broken, depressed child. This man has called me many things, *****, dumb ass, liar, mother fucker, slut… This man one day got mad and took me and slapped my face, then slammed me up against the wall, which was with such force […]
Tag:
Many Things
Hello.
I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.
My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.
I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school, Â so far the hardest year of my life.
There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.
My Brain
The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]
I’m Jael, nothing special about me. Had a rough life since I could remember. Parents left at a young age and I was passed around like a broken toy. Eventually I was raised by a family friend. I haven’t seen my parents since. They never wanted me anyway.
I have had issues with guys forever. I was molested most of my life by this family friend. Yes you could say my head is a bit fucked up now. Many things have happened (not sure how much to share)Â and I have reached way beyond my breaking point. This world doesn’t need me and no one else does […]
Lately I have had so many things rushing through my mind and I really don’t know how to handle them. I feel useless, worthless, and lost. Everything is happening so fast and I have no control over the pace and I’m getting lost in my own mind. I could really use some help before I search for my own solution.
No matter how bad you feel and how difficult it is to get going – remember that any opportunity is a possible turn of fortune.
The laws of co-incidence mean that situations and people will keep coming into your life, provided you keep getting out there. That means that your future could be better as a chain reaction gets going.
Ignoring / blocking opportunities that arise by being too depressed, means that you might be preventing yourself from meeting someone that you need to meet., without realising that you are limiting your situation.
Keep going each day and look your best – care about yourself and try […]
I’ve failed.
at so many things.
life, mostly. work. people. I’m consumed by the pointlessness of it all, now, too. I can’t see a way out. And nothing makes sense.
I just want it all to go away.
One way or another.
I would never do it… But i just dont get why we are here. Whats the point of this when theres so many things going on in the universe.whats the point of us being here?.we are insignificant in the big picture…just little specs…its just weird
I am. I’m just so unbelievably tired. I’m tired physically, I’m tired mentally, I’m tired emotionally. I don’t know why I’m here, I’m not sure I’ve ever known why I’m here. There doesn’t seem to be one person who honestly could not live without me. I have no friends. I had one. She was like a sister to me. She got on my nerves, she drove me crazy, but she was always there for me. She kept me grounded. And now, she’s moving on, and it’s obvious she’s moving on without me. She got a new job, she has a new boyfriend.. I want to […]
my depression? it has spiraled out of control i feel like there is nothing in life that i can enjoy, everything is just dark and hollow, i feel alone i feel like i want to bawl my eyes out but i have cried to many tears for me to cry i feel like being dead would not be so bad no one would notice… i just feel like my life is worthless i feel like there is no body there for me, that i am on this all alone but i need some one i have done to many things alone i need someone there […]
So, I’ve got six more days till my suicide.. part of me can’t wait, and part of me is just.. like.. wow.. I don’t know what to do.. I’m still trying to find my ideal way.. but I kind of want it to be spur of the moment. I’ve debated many things. so.. yeah. But.. anyway.. I.. I feel really bad.. I’m being so mean to everyone.. so terribly mean.. because I want them to be able to let go of me easier.. to just think.. oh, she was a *****, and deserved it anyway. Maybe it will help.. I hope so.. anyways.. I […]
I don’t understand.
I’m employed, healthy, and I can deal with people most of the time, but I still don’t want to live. Why? I feel like I don’t even deserve to have feelings like this. That I just need to get over it. I don’t enjoy doing anything anymore. I made plenty of changes in my life, hoping that something might flip the switch and I could enjoy being me. I moved out of my parents, started making new friends, started dating guys again, got a job in the new city, and tried to stop worrying about so many things.
But I still don’t want to […]
So I finally in past months accepted the fact I’m bad person/human being. Why am I, well many things. I have either been told these things by random people or overheard them saying it and noticed most of it myself. I am in general unlikable, most people are very insincere to me. Most people ignore me or distance themselves. Even in best times when I was trying to be upbeat and involved in making things in my life better people still seemed to since something. I was overweight till 21(260 plus pounds), lost weight(135 pounds). Didn’t change much, I just developed a eating disorder that […]
I’m not suicidal. I have too many things left undone. Most nights I wander onto here because I can’t find motivation to start the next day. There is nothing to say to me. All my solutions lie within myself.
I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have every anxiety problem in the book. I have manic-depression. I am tripolar. I’m afraid of everything. I’m a hoarder.
There are so many things wrong with me, It’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s even harder to keep them under control. With each passing day, I feel my lucidity and self-control slipping away. The worst of it is, most of it’s genetic.
When I was little, I used to bully my little brother. I had no idea it was wrong, because that’s all people did to me. Eventually, I felt horrible for it, and I prayed that it would […]
We are children of constant sorrow living in a fallen world, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the
rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high place.
“As I walk this land of broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But happiness is just an illusion
filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of a brokenhearted
who had love that’s now departed
I know I’ve got to find
some kind of piece of mine, baa-aaaaby
The roots of love grow all around
But for me they come tumble all down
Every day,heartaches grow a little […]
Alright im 19 years old. You guys on here think you’ve been threw stuff? My Bio dad abannded me when i was born. Another man Adopted me and called me his. Only for me to find out it really wasnt him who was my dad. Brother died of cancer. I pretty much raised him. I have attempted suicide many times and i believe that it has put me in an inbetween of this and the next life. I look around and everything seems darker. The whole world just angier.
When i began expiermenting with drugs i did many things. Ive done anywhere from pot/DMT/Spice/Coke and about […]
Hello all. I’m sitting here at my dinning room table weeping so hard. The reason is because I’ve searched intensley on an answer for the last few wks. I’ve talked to people including a therapist, some friends I kno in person, a couple from this site and even my Pastor. I’m 32 and have no relationships. I do everything alone and I can’t fucking take it anymore. I feel most have blocked me out. Let me say I was going to go thru with it last nite but the law got involved sumwat, plus I didn’t have all the supplies I needed. I’m now sitting […]
Sometimes, I just think about one of my old friends and how close we used to be. She was my best friend and we did so many things together. She was a very shy person and wasn’t one to talk openly to people. I knew her since childhood and we were friends in the past but up until my Freshmen year of High School, we had drifted apart from one another.
We soon became close friends again. And part of the reason being that at that time I had a very small group of friends. I was awkward in Middle School and seemed to rarely speak […]
I’ve never felt more alone than I do now. Some days, including this one, I think I’m bi-polar. I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but it wouldn’t amaze me if I was. I repel people more than I compel any form of welcome, probably because of the anger I constantly wear on my sleeves, or my lifeless stare that can become intimidating once I move my eye brows in the right, or perhaps, the wrong direction. These eyes of mine can look just as puzzled as anyone else pondering why I look so angry and full of disgust all the time. […]
I am writing again here since some weeks off, it seems so far away those thoughts I used to have as I read them again. There are so many things I can´t comprehend about the world and myself, but one thing I do know for sure is that those thoughts, even though they seem distant, they are so much closer, they are in my mind to stay for the rest of my life, it doesn’t matter what happens.
As far as I know those thoughts are the real me.