I’m staring at the new cut on my upper arm, and I’m numb. I’ve just finished writing a text so someone I thought I could trust, who chose a guy over my friendship, and I’m numb. I just dropped one of my courses, because I couldn’t handle a full-time course load, and I’m numb. Maybe I’ll never feel again. Or maybe tonight will be the night, and I won’t have to worry about the fact that my SSI will be there and gone on the 1st. Well, really, either way I’d never feel again. I think I’m out of […]
Tag:
maybe
I noticed that this group has some of the most undersranding, intelligent, and empathetic people thst I ever came across. I wonder…..maybe we are the ones that are sane but suffer from mental illnesses because we are in a world where the vast majority of humans are nut jobs. Think about it – look how shallow, mean, and ignorant most people outside this group are?
Okay so I’ve always been able to see futuristic events in my dreams. My great grandmother could, my mom could and now I can. Here lately my dreams have been very foggy.. I keep having the same dream just the time and place is switched around. I’m having dreams that my soon to be husband is cheating on me or just deciding to leave me. I’m always even in my concise mind afraid of this actually happening. I’d talk to him about it but I’m pretty sure he’s sick of hearing about it. He tells me every time he only loves me and […]
I originally joined this forum seeking advice regarding methods. Then found comfort in posting sadness.
A few weeks later I’m just commenting like a chat forum. Maybe not a few weeks, I’m still new, time drags when you’re miserable.
Why did you join this forum?
Why are you still here?
Wow. I haven’t been writing for 3 months and now I’m back again. It’s funny cause I thought I was doing so well. Turns out, I’ve been lying to myself. Yes, people have it worse than me but does that mean my problems don’t matter? I’m about to start college soon after graduating early one whole year. The expectation of everyone is really weighing down on me. The stress of handling everything, every action that I take from now on is being carefully watched and judged. I’m trying to handle so many things in my life and I think I’m getting overwhelmed again. I know […]
I can’t take it guys…. I can’t do it…. I’m so low right now.. Everyone is out and having fun and enjoying themselves without me and I’m sure no one will even notice that I’m not there, just like if I died. No one would notice that I wasn’t there. Maybe I would be a sad story to tell your children ten years from now about mental illness or what happens when people aren’t loved. Maybe those that I know will cry for a day, maybe they’ll mourn for a week.. And then it’ll be over and people will forget, slowly or quickly. Everyone will […]
I’m a selfish person for thinking about killing myself is what I keep hearing from family. I have a special sensitivity and I see the world and people and I see their hearts, all of their bitterness, coldness, ambition: the same things I see in myself sometimes. I don’t belong here. Maybe afterlife will bring me to where God is, a heaven better than this place. I’m here because I’m guilt tripped into staying here by my family. I don’t find happiness in earthly things and I certainly don’t like being judged constantly. I just want to BE. Can that place be found here? I […]
Yeah guys, im still here
not happy, but im here
well…
im not saying that im all ok, im really tired
reaaaaaally tired, afraid of future, afraid of darkness
but i still here!
someone is here too?
im a little… lonely..
maybe i will post some drawings….
when someone dont have how make it emotions flow, its better make something about it
i aways draw when im depressed…
logic, all the drawings are… sad
but it comforts me
I’ve been sick my whole life… Ever since I was two years old I was sick. I was diagnosed with type one diabetes at the age of two, and it’s been hard for me to cope with my entire life… I was bullied during elementary school not only by students but also by teachers… And then I went to high school where I thought things would get better. They were basically the same but on a larger scale. I fell in love with a boy, I really fell in love. He was my everything and we were together for nearly two years… He left and […]
i found this site by searching up what would happen if i swallowed 12 nurofen. it wasn’t for me but for my friend who i love very much. I’m worried about her safety but also my own because I’m extremely unhappy.. i feel sick.. i feel like dying.. everyday this girl asks me if i will be alive tomorrow before i go offline, just so she knows i won’t kill myself. today i feel like purposefully not being online so she can’t ask me. that way no commitment. that way i can die and she won’t even know. my parents don’t know her so she […]
“not enough” The message that’s been drove into me since a child, sometimes directly but mostly indirectly through culture and family. As a Christian why should I feel like I’m not enough? Because that’s all I know on this earth right now. I find myself discouraged, not enough drive, “not enough good grades, you’re a failure , your faith is not strong enough, your mind is twisted.” The messages clouding my mind, not irrational, for they are loud and clear coming from the family and pastors. Perhaps I’m just prideful when I come up with the idea that, “hey, maybe all this pressure and constant […]
Hello. Are Salt and Killlswitchon here? I miss you guys. If you’re alive or something leave a reply. I think I am going to do it in the future. The recovery was only for the energy that I need to get a job and earn the money for finishing it. Once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t be fixed whatever it happens. I understand everyone with depression, hate, everything. People are just a sack of wack. Maybe the divine exists or maybe not.Maybe it will be better in the next life or maybe it will be an eternal dreamless sleep. But you know […]
I was about to answer Sui_RC but I felt like making it a post instead because I felt that it could maybe help other people here.
Hi, from what I just read from your older post you are telling us that you feel useless. I understand that, you feel like the world would be the same without you. But I also saw that there is time where you laugh, I’m not going to tell you such a thing as ‘’live for the happy moment’’ that would be disrespectful of your wish but let me tell you something: if you can smile with others that mean you […]
Life always have a continue, sometimes you will think you are in front of a game over screen,
But you need to find the strength to put a coin in this machine.
Sometimes the coin will be in your pocket,
Sometime you will need to borrow it from your friends.
Sometimes you will be alone and feel like there is no more continue,
It may be hard but those times you will need to craft it yourself,
But you need to craft even if it’s hard because maybe this ”game” have a beautiful ending.
It may be a silly cheering but I’m with you guys!
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
it’s my first time that i write personal things about me in a site or a blog. of course the identity is unknown so it’s okay. there’s so many things i want to talk about ..that i feel deep down.. i wish my heart could speak for me.. cause sometimes words doesn’t describe the true feelings of a person.. but at less it gives you the opportunity to express yourself a little bit.. long time ago words used to make feel better.. expressing myself i mean but unfortunately not anymore ..maybe a little bit like i said.. but i feel like this pain is growing.. […]
I know a lot of talented people. I’m in junior high, and I already know people who qualify to teach piano, get first place in provincial level athletics, got perfect on their advanced harmony exams, or even first in a nation-wide mathematics competition. Everyone else I know is blessed with some kind of glorious, useful talent. Something that is measurable in levels or ribbons. I get stuck with art. I used to be so proud of my artwork, that I could actually create something that others could enjoy. At the age of 12, I had already started doing commissions and auctions on DeviantArt. I was so pleased […]
I’m running because I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel
But when I reach the end of the tunnel it’s just another puzzle.
And that’s when I understand there’s only one way to end this struggle.
And the pain and the sorrows I can no longer juggle.
And now my body’s empty and lifeless I can no longer move a muscle.
And a 6 foot hole for me they are digging with a shovel.
And people are wondering why me I always met life with a chuckle.
Will I miss some people in this life, yeah maybe a couple.
Ironic, if thy seek for
Ironic, the ultimate
Master from master to master and master
Is it only in the polarity
Calling to like to the Double-Negative
Do you plan to be, maybe, underground
Let’s hope, only, for now, the blink
Of solar, but what about, what
The place that I need to be and the truth of a reality
Undead of the peace, I call to the, Almighty
Maybe do not believe, in your unknown
Rolling time and space
The bust begins after five
I won’t say never but surely damn forever
Not that I want to hurt anyone my choice isn’t to hurt the people most suicidal people have thoughts of hurting other people not me though….Maybe tomorrow will be different if you actually open your eyes and see how your living don’t have the same thoughts about the darkness an pain try to reach out of the darkness into the light suicide isn’t the way out its just a break from the least horrible things once you die you have nothing and cant be anything anymore because you wanted to get away….I know how it is to be afraid of your own mind I understand. To feel like […]