i couldnt find any chat rooms to see if there were others going through this type of ordeal. aside from my mental illnesses i have to deal with disgusting human beings on an every day basis. i cant go to a grocery store anymore or to do laundry without being constantly taunted and ridiculed by people i dont even know. i know i dont dress very nice, but i dont know a thing about fashion its not like i’m not open to change its just something i cant figure out on my own. i have been humiliated, raped, poisoned tortured and thats not even counting […]
Tag:
mental
Can I just say, I am so fucking tired of people telling me “if you’re depressed then change it”.
THANK YOU!
That is such a revelation! I’m better now! I had no idea that I was perpetuating my own misery for 26 years of life!
People think they’re helping when all they’re doing is making things worse. I don’t complain at the time because really, I’m thankful for anyone even wanting to help or have a minute amount of care for my well-being but inside I’m screaming.
I know I’m not alone. I know at least one of you out there can identify […]
For those that read my previous post, you know that I’ve worked 30 health care as a respiratory therapist and paramedic. My username reflects the motto of a paramedic and the job I dedicated to do.
During that time, I’ve seen many times where lives were not saved but extended. People uncomfortable in pain sad and miserable is there to variety of tubes and machines. Often times lying in their own feces or urine with open wounds draining the most terrible smelling fluids.
Often times these patients were getting good care but you can’t stand over a patient 24 hours a day 7 days a week and […]
I cant swim. Everything consumes me. I take every comment or action against me as a declaration of dislike. I dead end myself trying to get over anything. The grief and helplessness is a salve to my conscious. I see right through people. Their lives so empty. Doing such superficial things. I dont know how to involve myself in anything superficial. I cant be meaningless. I therefore don’t do anything and hate myself for it. My family loves me. But where I want to go they will never support. They are the only people in my life. The girl I love. I keep doubting myself […]
For English we had to write an essay making something personal into a public service announcement. Naturally, I chose mental illness. This is my personal aspect:
Self preservation is the body’s natural instinct to protect itself from harm or death. In times of starvation, a human will resort to cannibalism, or in times of extreme stress, our sympathetic nervous system will release adrenaline in a “fight or flight” response. So what happens with our brains fight with our bodies on whether or not to live? When the brain wants nothing more to kill itself off than the body naturally tries to keep going? Mental illness […]
Well if you read my last post about 2 months ago, you will know what I was worrying about happening in my life with my girlfriend and college. September 5 th. My girlfriend was in her dorm alone and wanted to do something on a Friday night so she went over to a friend of a friends apartment. She made brownies and watched a movie with this guy. At the time she was completely ignoring me, so I did what probably. any college kid would do. Get drunk. I had drank way more than I should have and ended up climbing over the railing of […]
I decided to break my silence and apologize to my ex-Boyfriend for being such an overwhelming ***** to him on the day of our breakup. He told me that it’s okay, that he knows I have a mental condition. Mind you, he’s not basing this on anything other than his disdain for me. I was like whatever, though. He isn’t the first to assume I had something wrong with me, so I decided I wouldn’t let it ruin my time with him.
He began to tell me about some app — something that let’s you create an anime thing of yourself. Y’know, he would harp on […]
I decided to not kill myself and face what the hackers and their coalition have in store for me. I have actually been praying, and asking god for forgiveness for being such a messed up human. The Coalition of hackers and people they got to their side from hacking tricks, deception, and me simply being manic are in the process of trying to get me thrown in jail. Ironic as it is considering how I was being hacked and harassed and all, but it is what it is. I hope if there is a god he can see despite all of my flaws that deep […]
Heres the short version of my story, im 20 have never gotten laid, have aspergers, dont have any legit friends, left school because I couldnt take the mental horror that was bullying. I have no degree, I havent had a girlfriend in years, all my friends have someone in their lives, but me im the ugly duckling who wants to take a revolver an blow his head off. Why am I always getting rejected by people :'(
10 years of gradual more mental ilness the more time has passed with an infinite maximum mental illness from a hernia losing sexual pleasure+lost childhood from anti depressant pills+alot of mental traumatization per mental illness+people being mean to me made me lose all my control of suicide homicide
basically,every suicide forum i went to made me want to kill myself more because they banned me for getting help to not kill myself
at this rate,theres a 2/3 chance that this very forum im posting this exact thing here onto will ban me and increase the likelyhoodedness of making me kill myself (due to me getting banned from […]
This is my second post on here…. I don’t know how often I will post but I see this an outlet for me. I feel like I don’t have to hold it all in anymore….
Anyway, I have tried to kill myself with pills and alcohol but it didn’t do anything. The feeling you get afterwards just lingered all for a few day. My speech was a little slurred and I couldn’t walk straight but eventually the feeling went away. The feeling of wanting to die or wanting to live varies from day to day. Some days I feel like I got this and others I […]
I’ve had mental and emotional problems starting at a young age, and I thought I knew how to control them (I was sadly mistaken). Instead of seeing my problems through, I would bury them deep down and dismiss them completely.
That used to work for me, but as I get older and more mature, it’s becoming harder and harder.
The smallest of things will trigger my downward spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts and I’m at a point where I’m scared of what might happen.
I have no money, or insurance, but I have been actively seeking help at local mental clinics.
I really struggling to keep hope/faith in […]
iam a 27 year old male…at the age of 21 my mother (who had divorced my father when i was 9) eloped with a man i had never met and left me with no where to go…i ended up roomating with a guy that was a drug addict and had a mental problem..i became greatly depressed as i was already suffering from social anxiety..and fell into heavy drinking..i would drink almost everyday…and i couldnt stop..this went on for years until i had a nervous break down at the age of 26 and i was put on to anti psychotic medications which i take every night…(alot […]
To begin i must be honest and say i had no intention of sharing this with someone else but it keeps eating me inside.I was always a shy kid and i didn’t have many friends.I am always getting bullied at school i even tried talking to someone about this but nothing changes the other kids that bully me got angrier.It was the day that they locked me our school’s closet bleeding with a broken nose that i realise that i must have done something wrong.I keep trying to fight this but the sadness and the frustration of nobody loving you and nobody hearing no matter […]
All the mental and emotional stress hurts.
My body is starting to hurt as well.
I just hope the pain ends.
I can’t stop crying.
I just want inner peace.
I don’t expect you to understand,
no one ever does.
Our own mental status should be controlled by our own hands.
We are all condemned to death,
so why are we just sitting around?
Like ticking time bombs,
why not handle our own miserable lives,
instead of allowing others to choose our fate.
I have finally given up my will to live. I know that there’s no point, when all I have to look forward to is more of the same. Even if I were to manage to get through this period in my life, it would just be another rotation of the wheel that is my mental health. I might be able to get help and become “happy” again, but my depression will just come back around again and again. So I’ve given up the will to fight any longer. That part of me is gone. My will is dead. Like it was a real person. Will […]
My mood took a turn for the worse this morning. Maybe the reality that I can’t figure out how to end my pain without dying. I don’t know. But then I read posts from people who think they have all the answers to depression and mental illness… Well, it is a beautiful day here in San Francisco. My cats are adorable. I will try to smile and forget my pain for as long as I can.
It’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint-it’s a physical thing. Like it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. So you just keep quiet.
There is, what I believe to be a misguided therapeutic view of suicide by medical people, social workers, government types all chattering about the different aspects of this troubling and discordant reality, but they have accomplished almost nothing since the advent of modern medical and academic study, and may have even exacerbated the issue.
Scrupulously fact checked books, articles, medical, philosophical, academic discourses on suicide almost universally call for a psychiatric or therapeutic “cure” to stop suicides from occurring, and despite titles like “Reasons for Suicide” and topic headings to that affect, they really never address the real reasons for suicide and they refuse to lend any shred of credibility to the endless hours of […]