Things won’t get better for me
They never will
Failure breaks a person
Pain keeps you in pieces
I have no other options
No where to go, no where to stay
All I feel is fear
Fear of others, fear of pain
Life is an uphill run
And everyone drags you down
Rake their nails in to your bare skin
And use your head as a step
But still there’s a serene feeling
When your lying sprawled on the ground
At the bottom of the hill
Some people blame themselves after failure
Some people blame the world
This is a place I’m not wanted
Nor […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Every day I wake up with the same thought
Reminiscing about the losing battles that I fought
I remind myself of these miserable pasts
So that I may learn and achieve victory at last
Sometimes I win a battle but not the war
I still go on for what I’m fighting for
But lately I have only met defeat
Making it harder to stand on my feet
Must I give up and accept this fate?
Living in shackles with a heavy weight?
I refuse to live in such a way
But losing […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Leniency
It’s kind of hard to
At this, moment
What does the music, tell me
Oh, mercy
Go, go, follow
Truest light, yours
I’ve met, Mr. Mime
Or Jynx
Destiny
Far-away from
Whirlpool and tornado
What’s my name
Not this time
Polywag
.
I want to kill my self I am sick of this stupid life but I am thinking about my kids what are they going to do after me killing my self I should be more mature but this is not a life actually I feel it is ke a knife in my back and I am moving according to the mercy of the knife holder I hate you I haaaattte you I am too coward to say so too coward to make any step to divorce I am a negative introvert person fuck me !!!!
My younger self would probably find me registering to this site both trivial and selfish. Why am I selfish? Why do my peers and contemporaries deem it selfish to want to end all this? No, they’re selfish for wanting to keep the hollow vessel which has become my very being here and pretending that everything is copacetic. Well it’s not and hasn’t been for so long and for just as long I’ve been pretending everything is okay. I don’t have the will to kill myself but I desperately want out. Everyday is exactly the same. Sure we can try to throw spontaneity in place of […]
i tried and failed I guess I didn’t have enough ********. I got to see my daughters for 45 min they hugged me non stop and told me they loved me so much.
I will try again tonight and every night till I get this right I don’t want to hurt anymore and I don’t want my kids to cry anymore. I pray that God will take me and save someone else, it just needs to end. Why can’t God see I am done he is suppose to have mercy, maybe I am so worthless even God himself doesn’t want me!
For those not familiar with the term, eugenics is a way to improve the human population by eliminating the weak and propagating the strong. Back then when Hitler was in power there were euthanasia centers where individuals with incurable disease as well as mental illness were given a mercy death. For various reasons I am not a supporter of Hitler, however imagine if these centers were to exist today. Many of us could check in to these places to request to be put to sleep. That would be wonderful. Better for us and for the world if we cease to exist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_T4
Its been approximately a year since I’ve posted .In that time I’ve had alot of time to think and reflect.I’ve discovered alot about myself.as all of.you dont know I despise myself.I hate myself.I look in the mirror everyday and hate what I see.im only ever good for hurting other people.thinking back to when everything first began for me I already knew that all thats happened to me up until now was gonna happen.you see everyone follows their own paths in life.some not always good.you decide what path,journey,what road you will walk.me?I chose this path knowing that I’d end up alone.I knew that I’d come to […]
I’m getting sick now. I’ve been running on so little sleep and didn’t eat much for 2 weeks (Thank you to everyone who donated so far, I bought groceries, a jacket and put some gas in my car <3 ), and I’ve been working my butt off everyday. The days I have off from walmart are spent scouring the internet for jobs and housing leads. I guess it’s catching up with me. I’m not super sick yet, but I’ve been feverish all day, have […]
Stupid, hopeless me. God, please have mercy on me and take me. I hate myself more than I can express with words.
I have made my “Danger, do not enter” suicide signs. I have what I need to carry it out. I am just scared. And I want to make sure that I’m absolutely certain that there’s really zero hope left, because my chosen method spares no survivors as far as I know.
But God do I wish we didn’t have that natural self preservation instinct that makes it all that much harder to carry out.
If ur ready to make a life choice to go on your next journey make sure u know what is there waiting for you.in ever life you are given only one gift of true love ..if u didnt respect the gift of love God gave you .and u think your all alone ..pray to God to have mercy on you and to grant u one more gift of love that you will not abuse .one love you would be willing to sacrifice your life for ..I did now I have a perfect wife and 3 perfect children ..that I will sacrifice my life for ..and […]
Call it mercy, call it hope call it however you want to, but, i decided to become an organ donor before the end so the fact that i dont want this body nor this life can help others live and enjoy their lives to the best, also because of this resolution poison is no longer an alternative, just can’t seem to find the rigth way to get out, im collapsing, every second i crumble more and more, im traped in this barless pprision thats my body, i just cant get out, i want to sleep forever to never wake again, i must put an end […]
The site says no hate, but there’s plenty of hate.
I hate being me. I hate existing. I hate living in this world. This trap.
I hate being alone, rejected, unable to live.
I hate that anyone pretends that things get better.
I hate that suicide is never an option.
I hate being forced to live when I know full well it is hopeless.
I don’t want this. I don’t want to sit here and struggle any longer. I don’t want to have to struggle my entire life. I just want to sit back and fade away.
I go to martial arts and I practice, fine. An hour of distractions while standing […]
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Dance with the dead in my dreams
Listen to their hallowed screams
The dead have taken my soul
Temptation’s lost all control
In the depths of a mind insane
Fantasy and reality are the same
I guess the days are painful. A type of pain that will never go away. There is nothing I can do about it. Nothing that anyone can do about it. The pain will never stop. I cry for help, but there is no point. The pain will never subside. The more I beg my mind for mercy, the more in punishes me. The mind is powerful, finding enjoyment and release in the most painful of things. The splitting and burning sensation of ones skin, the self inflicted pain creating such indescribable pleasure is frightening. The pain is good.
well before people were domesticated, before “civilization” people generally did not live far past their 30’s… In fact you’re 30’s were considered you’re senior yrs….
Maybe this was nature’s way of mercy killing, rather than be drug on to live through misery and you’re body breaking down, once it got to the age where you couldn’t enjoy the things you grew up doing anymore, nature decided to perhaps have a heart and let you go.
These days I hear older people constantly lying to themselves that “things aren’t that bad” just to cope with it. For some maybe it’s not, but for many it is that bad. […]
The golden gates won’t open
The flames won’t bathe the flesh
A bud in bloom
No more than a child
Beaten and abandoned
No life
No haven
No savior
Nothing but a blooming bud without the sun
And blood pours like rain from the sky
With cadavers splayed about the Earth
For God have mercy, let those beings stay in their slumber
And that pitiful bud, bloomed into a great beautiful calamity
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