Well guys i’ve been through a lot in my life and im only 21.. i just love talking to people and getting to know everyone like i wanted to be treated back when i was younger.. i was always alone and always picked on by so many people… i was made to feel so worthless and so empty. It come to the point where my own parents didnt even want to know me :c For 4 years they still havent seen me.. or talked to me and that hurts, mainly cause my bro and sis follow in my moms footsteps and listen to her… My […]
Tag:
my life
im sitting here and have a blank mind i feel numb spaced out like if my life moves on and im part of nothing around me disconnected completely from the world yet im sitting here at work
Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
So guys here’s my story, I’ve been living an average life. I was pretty confident, had some people who liked me. Girls thought I was quite good looking, more or less I new what I wanted in life I wanted to play hard now n later settle down with the love of my life. So basically I had things planned, i lived my life a day at a time worked during the days, went to gym in the evenings, Clubbed on Fridays n Saturday nights. Everything was good I did this for the past year. I had two best friends which I went to gym, […]
I need help fml fml oh my god I can’t take life anymore. The girls at school won’t leave me alone, the guys hate me. I try to be nice but always wind up being the mean one because they hurt me. Freshman year sucks I only get 3 hours of sleep a day and every night I chug down 6-7 sleeping pills hoping I’ll die but sAdly wake up the next day. everyone thinks im a whore though I’ve nevr done anything sexual in my life. Im basically my little sister second mom. no purpose here. If I left nobody would really care. Maybe […]
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I only hurt people that are close to me. All my girlfriend wants to do is help and I’m so afraid of losing her, but all I do is push her away. I punch holes in the wall, hurt myself (never her!), and cry all the time. I actually can’t even remember a day where I didn’t break down and cry. I feel like my life is meaningless and I always question people’s reasoning for even being around me. If I had the choice, I’d leave myself and never come back. I’m just a worthless […]
I think back to a time of the hopes and dreams I had years ago of who I was going to be and fast forward I feel like I’m nowhere near those dreams. Past betrayals have left me guarded which has left me in a state of not being able to connect to anyone. I internalize everything and in public I laugh and joke as a way to hide and cope. The irony is I work in a profession where I’m surrounded by people everyday and it is my job to help them feel and look better. With each of their smiles I hope that […]
I hate who I was and I don’t like who I am. Its hard to move on when your past is always looking at you. I can forgive myself, but I can’t forget the things I had to go through and had to subject others to go through. I was an ass and I admit it. I’m immature and scared to live my life. I joke when it is unnecessary and hide away from my life.
I say the wrong things a lot and just don’t understand people. I have no friends and am literally in the definition of a loner. I cannot connect with people my […]
Maybe it will help if I type it all out–my anger, fear, rage, emotionally disability, desire to die. I have been disabled on so many levels, planes, altitudes, planets, and realms of disaster that I can no longer keep up with it all. Really, I haven’t been “dealing” with any of it for so long, if ever. I just want to type this out and not worry about typos, grammar, spelling–because maybe it really will help me. My ride on the crazy train has been going on for most of my life. Now that I’m super obese (been this way before), unemployed for almost a […]
I am writing from a deep dark hole. I do not feel that my life is worth living. I am depressed because I have worked all year, and now that Christmas is here, I have no money to spend on my family for Christmas presents. I spent all of my hard earned money paying bills – medical and dental bills, car repair and insurance.
My employer is a remorseless entity. They work you to death,pay you nothing and treat you like dirt. I have tried but am unable to fins another employer. I feel so guilty. I have no friends to share my experiences with. My […]
My “friends” have been cut from my life because they always believed it was fair that they could get mad at each other, but I couldn’t get mad at either of them without severe punishment. My family is starting to act the same way. My sister will confront me and threaten me if I get mad at my mother or grandmother, and my mother will do the same if I get mad at my sisters. It’s not reciprocated though. If someone gets mad at me, nobody fucking cares. These people who are supposed to love me and care about me don’t listen when I try […]
I am so lost in this world, I have been alone for a lot of my life, and it has made me shy and quiet when it comes to meeting women. I have dated here and there but things never go well, and yet I hate being alone. I fell in love about a year ago with a woman, I dated a long time ago. We had a strong connection, and have hadd some really nice times together. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and now that things are falling apart between us, I am more depressed than ever. I will […]
Loneliness is a disease, you see, i have a son, I’m divorced but i see him every week, my parents are dead but I have 3 brothers, they love me and care for me, and I love them, and I love my son, and I’m happy when we are together, but I feel so desperately alone, all the time I don’t think I can relate to anyone anymore, I left my ex-wife because I felt alone and sad with her, but I still feel alone without her, when I’m not working and alone in my house, I do nothing, I watch movies, I eat, but […]
I had been working at a local restaurant busting tables for the past 2-3 yrs…. Well the other night, one of my managers, we’ll call her Angela, was handing out tips (personal tips– you’ve got personal tips which are yours and then the tips on the table are supposed to be rationed out at the end of the night)… Well right as I got done busting this table, she gives me my personal tip from last week. Being on disability I only work 2 nights a week.
Well right as I got back to the dish pit, I hear someone mentioning that supposedly $20 was missing […]
I fucking hate. I’m just a person full of hate and bitterness. I just can’t stand that fact. It feels like I’m the only person who actually sees things for what they are. People around me just don’t get it, everyone is just so generic it feels no one bothers to look all around them. Everyone thinks the same now and no one thinks differently. If your different than people will hate you, if your the same people will adore you. Why should I strive to be like everyone else? I’m different and alone. I have seen the true colors of everyone. People just want […]
I feel there no purpose to life. I wake up everyday to live n repeat the same things over and over. No matter how hard i try i am a failure in everyone eyes so why should i live? Everyday for past 2 years i think of different way to end my life i never do it but I finally think its time it doesnt seem stupid anymore it seem like the best choice. No one has to deal with me anymore. I dont have to keep fucking up other peoples lifes. I see no future i hate myself everyone hates me. I ask myself […]
Hey there. So, I’m back again on this website, for the third time. Three major bouts of suicidal thoughts and depression. But that’s besides the point. Earlier this year, I began my freshman year of high school, and with it, the best years of my life, as I have been told so many times. Unfortunately, that promise is not living up to expectations. I was placed into a college preparation program by my middle school teachers, though I decided not to sign up for it last year because I didn’t want to have too much on my plate. Additionally, at the start of the year, […]
I am a 21 year old girl and people always like to hang out with me cause of my looks. When I tell people I’m depressed they don’t believe me cause they think I’m pretty and can have everything in the world I want. I am depressed since I was 13. I have always been nice towards everyone in my life and somehow people made use of it.
I don’t feel like I have anything or anyone to live for and don’t find anything to do I really like.
I go to University and am doing my Bachelor in IT but it gets harder and harder everyday […]
I was at UBC Universal Behavioral Center I was there for 6 months that I tried to kill myself 3 times nothing worked I tried cutting my wrist vertically and horizontally and tying things around my neck that didn’t work because people found me.I still have suicidal thoughts I’m not acting on it because I don’t want to get in trouble and I want to be trusted .I have had two girlfriends the first one I dated for a few days I broke up with because she wanted to date more than one person my second lasted more than a week she claimed to be […]
I’m going through a really bad spell, as it was just my birthday and (as I suspected I might) and I spent it alone with a Cup O’ Noodles.
I told my *best friend* that even though I didn’t feel much like going to a casino (which she said SHE was up for, knowing that a casino wouldn’t be the best place for me right now, I suspect) I would love to see her and visit.
She never bothered writing back.
She is a terrible friend.
My most major effort toward a career that I’ve never spoken of on here because it was too real […]