Loved someone with every ounce of your existence? And despite how you feel, have that person and people around you tell you that it isn’t really love. I admit it I am controlling, not because I had no control over my childhood or anything like that. But because I want to control the pain that I will feel. I didn’t and still don’t want to feel any type of love for anyone because I don’t want to hurt. I never trusted anyone I built the biggest of walls and yet one person got through to me. It was magic it was love it was the […]
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my life
I found this cite a few days ago. I keep thinking about what to write and I’ve decided to just start with my thoughts. I was google-ing suicide quotes and depression quotes when I found this cite. Do I think about suicide? I’m not sure. I don’t think I actually want to die. I just want to cause self – harm. I remember being 15 and talking to a psychologist because so much had happened and my way out of things was with a razor. I remember liking the feeling of running it across my wrists or thighs and watching blood drip. I never did […]
Empty means containing nothing, according to the dictionary. It’s the feeling that I have right now. It’s weird. I’m in my house, but i’m not alone. I have my daughter sitting next to me watching a movie on her iPad while I sit on my couch typing these words. She’s too little to understand my feelings and body language. I have messages on my phone that i’ve looked at, but can’t seem to reply. I have close friends that want to hang out or come over and call it a movie night…but why do I just want to be alone? I’ve thought about over-dosing today…actually […]
I just hate my life….I do not LIKE anything.
I hate it so much and tried suicide so much I lost count.
I hate me…….I feel like there is no hope and no help.
This has been going on over 30 years and I am worse than ever
FML!!!!!!!!
There are a long list of things we are not allowed to say, and feelings we are not allowed to feel. Isn’t that true my fellow slaves? You did know you’re slaves, right? From the moment you’re born you are a slave to your parents and to this society. That is why what we say and feel must be regulated. That is why dissenters must be outcast as “evil” horrible people. Because in order to keep the system going, we can’t have dissent. Dissent wakes people’s minds up, and awake people rebel, and what society fears most, is rebellion. “Being born is like being kidnapped […]
You know the feeling when you get dumped for the first time. That feeling you get where your heart and your head are in a vice and your on the edge all the time between crying. That’s how I feel all the time.
I’m years old 27, and I don’t have any clear path yet in mind. I have a job where I can work and maintain an apartment but besides that my life is empty, I wouldn’t say empty so much as void. I think of fight club a lot the part where he says everything is just a copy of a copy of a […]
“Why me?”
“Why do I have to live with this pain? (mentally)”
“Why can’t I smile like everyone else”
“Why can’t I be happy?”
“Can I please die?”
My depression started in September 2012. When I applied for university in 2011, I got rejected which I didn’t mind first time round. Later on the year, I applied again in 2012, guess what, I got rejected. That’s when my depression started. I just can’t deal with rejections. My “friends” are busy with their university friends and their new life whereas I, stuck at home, hoping to go university. I have tried applying for jobs but no result. Any way, I applied […]
This post is mainly for anyone who needs a read or something to carry on….
I’ve been battling with killing myself everyday for over 2 years. What’s worse is that the reason I feel this way is because of the shit from other people – some people are just nasty and hateful, I’ve been dealing with privacy invasion – I’ve had a lot stolen from me intellectually as well as emotionally – maybe that sounds dumb, but it’s true…. I ended up in the hospital once because I wanted to kill myself…. this isn’t a pitty post it’s to let anyone who reads it know they […]
I really, really cannot do this anymore. I can’t trust myself. I can’t survive my life with the etching of all this shit in my brain. It’s not good. Not good at all. I think I’m going to go back to planning my way out. This burden is too much for me. No matter how hard I pray for God’s help and talk to other people the guilt just keeps choking me.
Its over. I’m over. I don’t deserve to live. I’m a fucking failure to everyone.
Hi, I’m a 15 year old boy, I’m currently a closet bi-sexual, and have, in my own way, suffered a lot over the years. For starts, I’ve had to deal with both mental and physical bullying my whole life, save for this year. When I was in 4th grade, I had only 1 friend, and when I tried to make a new one, this kid thought I was trying to take his only friend away, so instead of telling me so, he physically bullied me to try to get his point across. Every time he caught me talking to his friend, he would come up […]
Life right now is unimaginably amazing. Problem is with life is that just when everything is going great it will find a way to fuck you up. How to keep positive that it won’t? All the times that I have known life has messed me right up as soon as I thought it was going fine. All I can remember was that innocent little girl who thought that life is amazing then one horrible day when she was 12 years old found out how cruel the world was. Age 12 ran away from a rape and worst of all on holiday. These thoughts haunt me […]
I guess lonely is the right word I’m a 24 year old male and literally nobody cares about me. All I want is to talk to someone . I hate my life.. I hate me. I really hate me. Â I just want it to be quick I’m slowly losing my sanity cuz my daydreaming.. Or fantasy world is the only place I’m happy I know fucking pathetic.. I’m not good with pain and I don’t want to put my fan through funeral expenses like just feed me to the gators. I just don’t know what to do
My name is Caleb William Phillips. And yesterday May 22nd 2014, was my daughters 5th birthday. Her mother and I are separated permanently and she has remarried (common law) and lives with another man with his own children. I have a 3 year old daughter named Olivia Grace Phillips as well by the same mother. And these are my only two children and my only two reasons for living. As of about a year and a half ago things got out of hand when I put pain pills before my family. Chelsea left and took the girls as she should have. Several months later I […]
A few minutes ago I read about a girl that was able to purchase a shotgun and use it the same day. If I didn’t have a record of an attempted suicide, I would have the patience to go through the process of all the paper work and time to be able to buy a shotgun.
I have a plan but now I am ironing out the details of who will find me. I really feel bad for whoever it would be. But i’ve decided it shouldn’t be my family. Â So it will have to be a hotel. Yet I am afraid of my suicide being […]
Have you ever heard that saying..”Karma is a *****?” I been hearing that all my 19 years of my life so far and i actually agree with it. It is a fucken ***** -_-. Im not your typical ” Black girl” people call me a “white chocolate person” or ” oreo” because im not rude or disrespectful or all in your face about everything. i was bullied hardcore about myself. i dont like hip hop or rap, i dont braid hair and all that stereotype shit. it might shock you that im a vegetarian. aha yeah i can see why people call me the names […]
A couple years ago my life hit an all time low. I was emotionally shattered and the unrelenting world was closing in. I decided that I would take the step into the abyss. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the first thing I tried. I had tried to get help from friends but I quickly became an outcast. I planned to drown myself. That evening I went out to an old bridge and sat on the edge watching the sun go down. Once the top of the sun was out of sight I stood up and took a step forward. The moment I hit the […]
I’ve come to accept all this. It’s going to kill me, but I’ve accepted it. It’s just always going to be a part of my life. No running from it. Can’t get rid of it. Just have to deal with it until it’s over.
When I started my first post.. I thought it might get easier talking. It just gets harder. My parents absolutely hate me. You may think I exaggerate this but they do. I can never do anything right, my life is just one big fuck up. I don’t deserve to put them through this pain and stress. I don’t deserve anything. I’m a spoiled brat. I have nothing going for me. I just want it to be over, I just want to have a gun in my hand to end all this misery. I wish I had some way just to kill myself. The more I […]
i have sat down so many times and contemplated how to end my life how my time i have tried and how scared i have felt and chickend out of it, i was abused at a very young age i just want closure and a way to let it all go….
at a very young age maby 5 or 6 i was molested by my babysitters husband i remeber him putting his hands in my pants every night i stayed over her house and mom worked late. he would wait till everyone was alseep and come to the living room and touch me while lay there i […]
I have had enough. I am sick of picking up the mess of my son – time after time after time.. getting him out of debt, saving him and he is 26. I have just picked him up out of a drug induced psychotic episode and now he is throwing tantrums about not being allowed to smoke weed…… I have had enough. I want to live my life quietly and all the time he continues to snipe…….. tomorrow i will buy the razor.. I never thought I would but he has destroyed any hope of a life for me. I have none………….. and I actually do […]