Its coming up to 4-years sense we lost you bro I miss you so much, So much as happened in that time most off it as been for the bad after you died watching you take your last breath killed me inside.  it was not long before you Nan and Granddad went I’ve lost so many loved ones I could no longer cope with day to day I lost so much my job my home most off my mates don’t want know anymore and the man I was meant to marry but life like that it gives and takes just seems it takes more […]
Tag:
my life
I am screwing up my life for no reason. I just feel like the way I was living was not getting me anywhere, so I decided to drop college and live my life on the road. But I am so fucking scared. I need someone to do this with me. Because if I continue living this life, in which I have to be always high to get trough a day, I will go mad. My life right now doesn’t make me wanna do better. I don’t need happiness. In fact, I kinda want to be miserable, because I am too scared that I really messed […]
I know that my life has become pure suffering, all my dreams, all my fears, all the passion and all the devotion are now smashed into shards.However, I started to remember everything with joy and nostalgia … my memories are coming back in flashes : the way I used to sit and stare at a tree; the taste of my favourite ice cream; how funny it was to play with my friends in my childhood…
I’ve lived for so long.17 years.It’s curious to think that there are people who want to live for 100 years, and I’m unhappy enough with 17.It was a life.I’ve […]
I’m just so fucking confused. Where do I fit in life. I’m a 15 year old girl. I have no more friends my grades are horrible and I have developed bad socail anxiety. I feel like I can’t be myself around people. I’m just trapped in what people expect me to be. I’m so tired of being a dissapointment just because I want to be me. Now I just turn into a different person around people to please them and I’m tierd of it. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life and after highschool my grades aren’t good enough to go […]
I’ve been depressed on and off for about four years. I was in love with a good guy friend of mine. He moved away for a year and began dating his childhood best friend. About a year later I met a guy I liked. He was smart and funny in a dorky way. Things got complicated and it didn’t work out. This is when I first began to experience my depression. I listened to music most of the time, slept long hours, and neglected my homework and chores. I became a recluse. For months I was in a haze, but one day I snapped out […]
This book is one of the major reasons my life is on a positive trend in recent months. In Feb and March, as some of you know, I put all the legal pieces together and tied up my loose ends…..I was ready to drive from PHX to SF and act on the lure of the Bridge. I had severe insomnia and had not slept more than 3 or 4 hours in several days. I found this book online, ordered it for my Kindle. I read it straight through (thank you, insomnia).
I don’t have Kevin’s Bi-Polar disorder, nor do I have Schizophrenia….I am diagnosed with treatment […]
Hey i really need somebody to start travelling with full time, backbacker style. I live in montreal, so if you live in canada and are interested, really serious, hit me up and we can laugh, cry, exchange, travel and live together for a while. zamilee1@gmail.com for any info about me and talking about how we’ll organise our meeting! I don’t bite! I won’t say my life story here, so please write to me !!! I am so sick of this place and need to get away from this 🙁
I am really feeling miserable. I have just divorced and found a gf whom I really
Love. She is so cute at times and sweet at times. But she is so self centre and thinks whatever she have done is right. She love to deny the facts and shout at me with serious attitude problem. Most upset is she like to be uncontactble, likes to hang the phone and likes to Mia when quarrel. I have some bad debts with me due to first marriage. I hope to have someone to enlighten me, I always burst out crying with the state I am in and […]
The past 8 years of my life I have progressively developed worse and worse depression. This past year has pushed me over the edge to wear I have gotten to the point I can’t deal with the pain anymore. The worst is I lost the love of my life because she didn’t think it was fair for us to never see each other. I waited 6 years to be wit hthis girl and for the past year and a half, I had her. I know this is probably really weak reason to be pushed over the edge, but she was the girl I wanted my […]
I’m just your average 13 year old girl. Trying to fit in with society. Trying to be perfect. But, perfection isn’t what I want anymore. I want to be saved.
In 6th grade (Last year) I was bullied. I cried to my teachers, principals and everything. They clearly didn’t care. Such names as Hoe, Slut, whore, ugly, fat, ugly, fake. I didn’t realize what I did to earn this. But, there was nothing I could do. I had about 15 good friends.
I have thought about cutting/ harming myself, but I haven’t. Not until this year.
Back in October, I was bullied even more. I cried every single day. I […]
Always wishing to find the beautiful sound. Oh, man.
The zenith, taken from me. Never echoing through oblivion.
I am transmorse, the metal horse. Cyborg was my cherry pick.
Ultra blast, to the max. Robin, by my side. My life.
I wish to exist in reality.
Spitting in tunes of the lost vibes. Always wishing, to find the next beautiful sound.
Silence. Take me through the valley. Take me to the “Bat Cave.”
For my life. Will you be my Robin. Or the fate of Nightwing.
The song… was the last track.
The title sounds like … Grace Mary.
So beautiful…
There is this internal conflict that keeps occurring more and more frequently. My feelings are trying to resurface and my numbness is trying to fight it away. I have the strangest dreams but they reflect those feelings I won’t allow myself to feel when I’m awake. When I’m dreaming I do feel them even if it’s just a pinch, but I feel it. And I wake up with the Reminence of those feelings and I don’t know what to do. These feelings for the most part have to do with one person in particular and I wish I could talk to this person but I […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m so fucking tired of waking up every night. It takes everything in me to just go to work (I work nights). The only thing I look forward to is sleeping all weekend. Got some bars so it shouldn’t be a problem as long as people will leave me alone. Happy go lucky people make me fucking nauseous. My mind just doesn’t work that way. I see the negativity in everything. People always say to focus on the things that make you happy. I can’t make anyone understand that there is nothing that makes me happy except the fact that I have a bottle of […]
I could seriously just end my life, just like that. Nothing’s stopping me, not even the words of my ”friends &family”. All I see is pain. Give me a break you deluded, sellf-servant prick. If you really believe in the words that you preach, get off your screens and onto the streets! Ahhh Bring Me The Horizon always has the right words… Yet people succeed flawlessly into ignoring people who have the right words. They don’t care about nothing but money anymore and it saddens me, even scares me. This world is a waste, humans have destroyed it, well most of it. There are still […]
I’m so tired of everything. So tired. A basic run through of my life is expected I guess so here goes. My name is Shawn, and I’m a depressed loser who’s 15 and lives in Texas. My depression started when I was a little kid. I was exceptionally smart, to the point of having the IQ of a genius. For this, I was constantly picked on to the point where I had to hide bruises from my mum. In addition to that, I was touched as a child by my stepfather. All of this combined to become clinical depression, before advancing into MDD, MAD, DID, […]
It’s Friday
Her alarm goes off at 6:00am…she hits the snooze button. “I do not want to get up today.” She pulls the cover over her face and falls back asleep until 7:00am.
She finally gets the energy to get up out of bed and drags herself into the shower, and begins to get ready for school. As she’s getting ready she occasionally looks out the window – the fog is rolling in and its windy. She sighs deeply inside…”I don’t want to go to school today”. Putting on her make up, she gives up halfway and gets dressed. With the little energy she has, she throws her […]
suicidal thoughts & cutting have always been apart of my life but when i decided to quit it became extremely hard on me. i had delt with all my problems this way & now i dont have that. i have to find another way of dealing with my problems so i decided to start writing. my school councelor gave me this idea. he told me that i can make it. im a strong person.i suppose… if all the other people that cut & have tried suicide can quit than so can i.
(I addressed this to a friend. The thing is, I won’t send it to her. I want it to be read, though, so please do.)
Read this in a place and time where you can handle an emotional outburst. You can’t know how sorry I am for burdening you with this, but you deserve an explanation.
If you feel guilty at this for any second, I swear I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
1/13/14. I have no idea what you were doing that day, but you might remember it by receiving a somewhat suicidal message from me. You texted me later, and I eventually […]
I havent posted in a few weeks but thats because i was getting better i made plans and i was supposed to be going to my friends 21st tomorrow but then tuesday we argued because i asked her why she hadnt replied turns out her friend was in hospital and she told me to fuck off ive sent her over 300 messages and she hasnt replied she wont even read them which hurts so much more shes one of the last 2 people in my life i care about now theres only one and she hasnt been replying either so im alone i have no […]