Well this its my story on how my life is only getting worse And more painful. My name is Matthew and I live in Nelson new Zealand I am 14 years old and am year 10 at Nayland college.
It started around term 3 last year and till this day my life has been torture. In class of I bend over to Tie up my sore laces I get shoved over. If I’m doing sport they spare tackle me from behind. If I sit out to try Getty a break but they say get up and.play you fat Cont. Btw I weigh 78 kg. Every […]
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my life
My Name is Annie, I reside in Carson City, NV and I am here to tell you my story.
My story is probably a very common one, but three years ago, started a riot in my body. The moment my boyfriend, who was my first of everything dumped me over a text message, i went insane. I started everything to just be able to sleep, to eat, or to even live without him. I was messing my self up heavily. (Three to Four bottles a night, 24 case beers, Marijuana, pills) I wanted him so bad that my actions ended me up in the hospital, unconscious, […]
So..How does it feel? Well, depending on the person it can feel all sorts of ways. I know one thing, that no matter the person it feels like shit. Okay, so let’s get started on the whole basis of it.
I don’t really know why I have depression, and sometimes I wish I had some sad backstory so it would be easier to explain. Nothing bad really happened to me, nothing too scarring. It’s just the little things that do it. Every little ounce of stress and anger, it all causes this sort of snowball affect. Slowly building up to knock me down.
It doesn’t physically hurt, […]
Well, this is my story. My first attempt to suicide when i was 16+. My true suffering when i started my IGCSE studies at the age of 15. According to my seniors, it was a year that supposedly has no room for fun and games. So i studied and really put in a lot of effort to work smart. Unfortunately, i was disadvantaged due to the fact of not having friends to support you when you need them the most and having a family that ask’s too much of results from you not knowing that they hurt you psychologically and physically. Meaning physically by the […]
Came across this forum while researching things related to suicide and the reasoning behind it. I’ve had a good life, and I’m still young with lots of potential but things seem to just keep piling on, the puzzle pieces never quite fitting together. Last night I had it in my mind that it was the night I was going to see what was on the other side because whether it’s better or worse it should at least be different. The one sad thought I have is that I always wanted my death to count for something, to either give my life for someone else or […]
I think I’m on the verge of having an anxiety attack right now, I need to write this down to calm my nerves.
Just when I think things are going okay, everything goes downhill somehow. My classes are going all wrong, I can’t concentrate on my studies, I’m scared of even walking in the streets, I feel watched, observed, I feel inferior to those and everything around me, though I know I’m not.
A few months ago I stopped speaking to a “friend” of mine after she threw another of her little stupid tantrums on me, we’re 18 years old, I’m not a little girl […]
i’m feeling very unstable today. I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s like anxiety i guess, but without the active intensity part. I don’t feel “nervous” or “frightened” or anything like that… just very lethargic and scattered… like oppressively lethargic, to the point where i’d struggle to do anything physical at all. I should cut the grass, but i feel so… “weak and powerless,” and completely disinclined, like i just don’t give a shit. I’ll probably go do it right after this, and it’ll probably suck as much as i remember… but that’s not what’s stopping me. I don’t mind doing it, but […]
My mother is a complete psycho ***** that hates me to the extent of why I wonder I haven’t blown my brains out a lot if times I wonder if I’m even her son or something else to her like property and my dad is a wanna be thug who TRIES to relate to me when he was NEVER there for me and suddenly thinks that he can come back and think I will have no hard feelings towards him my grandparents think I mess everything up maybe it’s true I pretty much have nobody all of my friends I’ve made are on Xbox and […]
I am 19 years old and I have an eating disorder.
Two weeks ago I was admitted to hospital for an overdose and for self-harm. My normal weight before the eating disorder was 73kgs but now I range between 59-62kg (which is on the brink of unhealthy for my height).
Between the ages of 8-12 I was continuously sexually abused and when I was 12 I was taken from my house by child protective services because of a FALSE allegation against one of the male family members in my family.
Since that night I was forced to live away from home. Luckily I was allowed to […]
I am 19 years old and I have an eating disorder.
Two weeks ago I was admitted to hospital for an overdose and for self-harm. My normal weight before the eating disorder was 73kgs but now I range between 59-62kg (which is on the brink of unhealthy for my height).
Between the ages of 8-12 I was continuously sexually abused and when I was 12 I was taken from my house by child protective services because of a FALSE allegation against one of the male family members in my family.
Since that night I was forced to live away from home. Luckily I was allowed to lie with […]
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
i don’t want to feel for you. i wish i never met you; right now it’s impossible to rid myself of all the memories and conversations we’ve shared. you saved me once from ending my life permanently, but i can’t rely on you for happiness. yet you’re everywhere i go. i can’t avoid you. i don’t want to feel this way. i don’t want to love you. i don’t want to be an appendage to you; i’m trying to break f r e e . i don’t want your actions to determine my happiness.
how do i get over you???? please get out of my head
What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
So once i had went to a aslyum for my cuts. I had met so many people had i saw past they cuts and burns they were beautiful with words and drawings and anything. But there was on that stood out the most. It was the first time ive ever seen someone with a huge deep slash on their throat. That person was always alone looking out the window like if he was waiting or just thinking. So i thought well let me see if i can talk to him. Everyone said he never talked so i thought well this is going to be difficult […]
I can’t do it. Every day that goes by the feelings get worse and worse. I’m trying so hard and then something happens and I need to start all over. I’m not happy. I want to be but I’m not. There’s so much going on in my life right now and I want it to go well but I constantly doubt myself. I feel trapped and alone and scared. I hate feeling this way. But I can’t even deny it anymore. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to just end it all. And these pills. They don’t help. I think I’ve Ben […]
I just can’t do this. I keep trying and trying to just BEAR IT but I can’t.
I can’t bear it. Is this really what’s going to finish me off? THIS is going to be the reason my life ends? Over someone who doesn’t love me? That is one of the stupidest, most childish and facile things I have ever heard and yet it’s my life, it’s happening to me, I never thought in all these years struggling to stay alive with my disorder, praying sometimes I’d wake up in the morning, the loneliness, the money, jobs and time (so much time) all lost, the defeats […]
I’ve been commenting on a lot of you guys’ posts, and I feel like I haven’t really told my story on here. Trigger Warning: Some of the things might trigger self-harmful behavior, so please read with caution…As I begin this, I am sitting on a pile of pillows I’ve been using for a bed, drinking tea, and I’m about to light a smoke.
I grew up in Central California from 1996 (my birthyear) and moved in the summer of 2004. My parents had met when they were twelve, and stayed together until they were in their early twenties. I was about three when, out of the […]
Im sorry for all that I have done. I cannot express how sorry I am about the inconvenience about the car crash, Im so sorry for all that I have done to everyone. The thing that makes me the most upset is that it could have been so much worse; I would not have been able to live with myself knowing that I put my friends in the hospital. I do not want to hurt people I want to help others; I do not know how I can forgive myself. Simple I do not think that I can forgive myself. Â I love you all so […]
I just can’t trust one of my friends.They keep going to the school guidance officer and telling him every little bit of information I tell them about me.I am really getting sick of , yesterday one of their parents actually rang the deputy principal and told him I was gonna hurt my self, I never even said that to anyone so where are they getting that information from.Today my mum got a phone call from the guidance officer saying that one of my friends parents printed out pictures of things I posted on Instagram, why can’t they just mind their own business and stop making […]