I’ve been seeing a new psychologist since January and last visit she questioned why I was still seeing Psychologists if I believed my life will never get any better. I repeated what I had told her previously, that I simply want help to give up. I seem to continually hope for something to change but I need to accept that nothing can ever change. She has kept trying to inspire me to start doing things in an attempt to make my depression better with the idea that my depression will improve if I simply eat better, exercise and get more sleep. She will not accept […]
Tag:
my life
Wow, where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start by introducing myself. My name is Illya. I’m a 28 year old guy from Belgium. Why am I on this forum? I just wanted to share my story. No one in my life knows what I’m about to write. Not even my mother knows everything. She knows several things, but not all of it. I have no idea why I’m writing this down. I know it’s completely insignificant, but I guess I just need it.
I’ll start with my youth. I never knew my father. I only heard stories about him. He was a bad man […]
I’m new to here, so hello… I’ve been feeling down for a while now and alots been going on… I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this poem …
You make me feel so worthless
So depressed and so alone
You make me feel like crying
And cutting deep into the bone
You look at me in solitude
With your evil looking glare
Make me feel so worthless
Like I’m living in despair
I want you to understand
To have some gratitude in there
To feel the emptiness I feel
And the loneliness in the bed we share
Why am I here
What have I done
Will […]
It takes a lot of courage to end your suffering
and even more courage to live through it
…. unfortunately, I have the courage for neither
Hello, everyone. First post here. Found this site about a week ago, and have been reading quite many posts since then. Maybe I should introduce myself… I am a man, just below 40, living in one of the Scandinavian countries. My life has been ok overall, aside for some suicide thoughts in my late teens, but I guess I was never serious about it then. Up until early august, my life has been fine, until it crashed completely. Even the day before […]
I’ve come to believe that medication and therapy are nothing more than distractions and lies meant to blind people to the truth.
When I view society, it’s obsession with reality television, celebrities, and it’s influence on buying happiness, I see proof. When I watch the news, I see horrible disasters. I see people dying, people being murdered, people being slain. I see greed, pain, and suffering. I see war, drought, famine. And of course, what do they always do after these stories play? They find something trivial to distract you from the issues of the world. They tell you about Beyonce’s latest album, or some dipshit story about […]
If I was brave enough, I would say this all to your face, but I’m a little bit cowardly. Instead, I’ll write this here, where you’ll never read it.
Don’t let your anxieties get you down, okay? You’re far too wonderful to be burdened with this much shit. I know you want to help people, but you need to put yourself first sometimes.
I’ve only known you two months, but you’ve made such a huge impact on my life. You’re such a kind person, one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I love spending time with you every day, and if I don’t see […]
Today has been one of the most emotional day of my life. I have never felt so useless..and alone. I realize everybody comes in my life when they need something. I want to die. I want to die. I already feel mental pain. Physical pain is what i need. Something to say you’re in control…stop…go…deeper. I HATE MY LIFE. There’s nothing that make me want to fight to live. I’m sorry.
from the perspective of the proverbial ‘watcher’ my life is pretty perfect, i suppose. I live in a beautiful house with a beautiful man who tells me i’m beautiful. we’re engaged and getting married. . the natural progression of this version of life, to settle down and squirt out children… for the last five years, no for ever, i have thought that i wanted that. to settle and breed… and everything would just make sense when my life was no longer my own. but i am literally in the process of realising that i DONT actually want this, i have but one life and im […]
So in short my ex chose weed over me. Abused me. Made me feel me feel worthless, I got diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, Social Anxiety and anorexia. I’ve been in and out of hospital 7 times in the last 6 months because of 2 suicide attempts and the rest for not eating. I’m scared of living so I want to die. I just haven’t succeeded yet. I don’t see my life going anywhere but down. I’ve been on anti depressants for 3 months and recently came off them. I drink to forget who I am and wake up not knowing where I am. I’m a […]
My life is defined by fear. It is always there, at the back of my mind. It’s hard to live with. A part of you always telling you that something is terribly wrong, and you need to drop everything, this instant, to resolve the threat.
What am I so afraid of? There’s all the normal stuff, of course. Death, aging, disease, violence. But beyond that, I’m afraid that I can never experience a meaningful relationship, or really connect with anyone. That my life will always be this empty lie, trying to hide how worthless I am from those around me. Never facing the world honestly, or […]
14 year old girl. Anxiety makes up my life. Can’t do anything, can’t see anyone, can’t be anyone. I get sick to my stomach with anxiety every morning before school. Someone help with these attacks. They are killing me.
I just feel so shit all the time, everything I do always turns out wrong. My anxiety stops me from doing everything and I hate the fact I can’t do anything about it. I’m so scared to even speak to someone. I feel so useless now, no point doing anything if it never turns out right. I just generally just can’t do this, not fitting in anywhere. […]
I’m so angry. I get so angry that my hands shake and that i forget to breathe. I’m angry because I can’t change anything. Being angry makes me angry. Having to see her face infuriates me beyond belief. I’m angry because I still have 2 more years of this stupid shit to deal with. 2 more years until I can leave and never look back. The thing is, I wanted to look back, and see my family and see my dad and know that I had a home. Im angry because I know how how it’s gonna end. He’s gonna die and i’m never going […]
This will be my 2nd post here…. it is quite long, read at your own time, speed, risk, whatever………
I honestly do not see life getting any better for me, it might have been around 2 weeks since my last post and I should give more time for my life to “improve.” I have yet to find the right person to talk to about my problems in life, I do not want to talk to a counselor about it because I have tried that many times while I was in middle school and not only did it not help at all, they said your typical cliche […]
i want to yell scream at the top of my lungs let them know how im really doing give them a chance to save me a chance to reach out and offer another option just one reason to stay a chance to show me someone out there still cares but i cant find the words dont know how to get it all off my mind without seeming like im just fishing for attention but maybe i need a little attention maybe i need the people in my life to let me know i still matter
A beautiful girl in a world so cold
A boy in a new place
They both feel so old
The girl sees a new face
In public they kiss
A trap has fallen
The boy nervous he might miss
His heart has been stolen
The boy falls in lust
The girl sees her chance
He gave her his trust
Her lies pierced his heart like a lance
The fights
The anger
They last all night
Increasing the danger
New friends
Jealousy arises
Happiness never ends
Demons come in all shapes and sizes
A lie so bold
The boy believes
A truth never told
Another girl greaves
Flashing light
Hurried breath
Terrifying night
Impending death
He wants to leave
She begs him to stay
She can’t believe
It turned out this way
Author’s note: This is my first […]
I just want my life back.. Swim team, varsity soccer captain, cheer squad, student council… A perfect boyfriend, and perfect friends. I had a life, and an amazing future to look forward to.
The thing is, I was amazing at faking it. I put on a smile and didn’t let anyone ever see it fade. And now too much has happened and I’m exhausted from lying and being someone I can’t be anymore.
I want my mom back.
I want to be that blissfully happy teenager who had no worries. Instead of this depressed anxiety-ridden maniac that walks around like the living dead. I might be alive, but […]
I thought I was done with this site. Here i am though and its truly been a while. I don’t know what to do. I tried to kill myself when i was at home with my parents i thought that i would move back with my gf and shit would get better. That i could finally be happy and have a family of my own filled with the love i always wanted but since i got here its been nothing but abuse and disrespect. There’s no love anymore and that sucks but i need to stop being stupid and face death like who wants to […]
Mistakes. Lots of them. Year after year, I’ve made progressively shittier choices. I’ve spent the majority of my life acting and thinking in really dumb ways. I allowed myself to become fixated on what was beyond my reach, rather than appreciating the actual possibilities right in front of me. I was so consumed by what I wasn’t that I wasted what I could have been.
Of course, there were reasons for all of it. I didn’t understand then what I know now. If circumstances had been even slightly different, it all might have turned out another way. I might have lived a worthwhile life.
The choices, the […]
My friends father had a traffic accident and this made me thinking again what I always think about life.
That it is so random. Most important things in your life are decided by basically universe throwing a dice for you. Where you have born, to what kind of parents you have born, whether you were born with a serious defect/disease, whether you get a terrible disease later in life, your gender… list goes on.
One of the people I know, who had a good life and pretty successful, was sitting in her car waiting her husband, a tree near the road falls off on the car. Almost […]
I don’t have anything. I am failing out of college, I am unhappy with my job, I am out of money, I don’t have very many friends, the love of my life/best friend just ruthlessly walked out of my life. I guess that is my biggest issue. I had been in serious relationships in the past, but nothing quite as emotionally invigorating at this one. We met about a year ago, last October, both working at a local grocery store to put ourselves through college. Around the time of the new year, it was evident that a connection was forming. We would grab dinner several […]