So I have always hated my birthday and it’s coming up next week. I see a lot of birthday posts on here and thought I’d add mine. For the first 15 years of my life I celebrated my birthday with the birthday of the man who was molesting me, we ate cake together, laughed, played and… other stuff. For the next 15 years I prayed for my own death and even attempted it with one serious attempt that left me with broken bones… BUT last year was good even though I struggled and this year even though I am struggling I think it will be […]
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my life
I live with my mum. I don’t speak to my dad much. He ruined my life, quite literally. I wont go in to detail, but he destroyed my childhood, which still seems to be effecting me now, at 15 years old.
He turned up at my house the other week, dragging so much of my past back up. I haven’t spoken to him properly for over a year now, and he had the cheek to tell me, his daughter that he doesn’t know and hasn’t known for over 6 years, that I’m depressed.
I mean, I personally think there’s something along the lines of that there, but he […]
Today I just watched and wondered why I had to wake up. Why get up? Good god, just another one of these days. I realized the normalcy in my life just kind of went away.
I just feel like hell, trying my best in all my work but I just can’t seem to get the grip or get that motivation back. Everything still just seems to kind of died out. things just seem so gray, I can’t find the color in my life like when I was a kid. I realized one of the sources of my problems though. Its that I’ve associated normal behavior and […]
I have two kids. I had them young. I am in college. I live in a trailer. I don’t have contact with my parents. I have overdosed once in my life, years back. I was sent to the hospital and there was a series of events. I feel low, just as low as before. I feel like a bad mom for being so depressed. I feel overwhelmed, I hate my life, I hate being alive. I love my kids but I feel bad I don’t love them enough to want to stick around. I don’t want to live. I really don’t. I have almost no […]
hey guys i havent posted in a while i thought i was getting my depression under control but this morning it hit me again like a ton of bricks if anyone remembers a while ago i posted a long post and in it i chose a date to hold off until to see if i was feeling better and i was for a month or so but now im not so sure im starting to think all the recent changes in my life just kept my mind to busy to focus on the pain but now that im settling back into a routine my fucked […]
now i know there’s no such thing as happy ever after..
there’s nothing you can do to be happy all your life..
..
but why ? why i’ve never felt happy in my life..
day by day it’s getting hard to take a breath ..
forever fucked up.
Where do i start, my life has not been the easiest in terms of growing up. I’ve had problems from all fronts from varying categories. This list of problems I manage to put off everyday, just trying to ignore this world on my shoulders as I go to school and pretend to be happy with people I pretend to be friends with. My life in public is but a mask to hide my face covered in years of abuse and hardships. This list manages to grow with my best efforts of keeping the problems down, and it seems with every jab at the list that […]
I’m here to tell you guys, it gets easier. If you look at my posts a year and a half ago I was on here pleading for help hoping somehow my parents could see what I was venting you all of you fellow friends who understand what it’s like to be in such a dark place. It gets easier. Things do get better. Although I do know when I was in your position, it felt as if no matter what I read, how happy people pleaded with me to be, I was lost and all I could see was a large dark cloud infront of […]
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I’m a loving husband and father. After taking an a antidepressant and subsequently stopping it a matter of weeks later I developed a rare physical condition for which prognosis is dubious and treatment is extremely painful. It has interfered with EVERY aspect of my life and is debilitating both physically and mentally.
I was negligently put on a benzodiazepine which I’m trying to taper off and is proving difficult, it’s destroyed my health. I have fought this for over a year via physical therapy and various different forms of medication. I look and feel awful, I have had to move in with my parents and can […]
It’s been so long since I was here for the last time. I’ve met wonderful people and I lost some others. My life has been crazy, so freaking crazy. And now I’m just so full of fear. Life is happening so fast and I am so young. I’m so afraid and so alone. What will I do? So alone, so young, so far away from everyone and the only person I have is myself.I’m overwhelmed by choices. What do I do? How can a child know what to do? So much has changed in so little time. There’s just so much to do that it’s […]
Well, can someone tell me how to get rid of this pain. I wanna take some pill and just go sleep because I’m tired of my life. Please tell me what to do and how I would die without anyone knowing ..
Thank you.
I feel like I’m done with life. I can’t go on beyond this anymore.
I’m a 24 year old guy. I’m severely depressed. I’ve never in my life had a girlfriend, and it looks like this is my life. I’ve always been too shy and socially awkward and I basically can’t approach girls and don’t know how. And I’ve also been rejected by the handful of girls I’ve approached. I don’t bother trying anymore. I’m sure that even online dating won’t work for me, so I haven’t tried it. Besides, who wants to date a depressed suicidal person anyway? The irony in all this is that […]
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I’ve been to this site before (years ago) but never had the courage to sign up. But now.. Here I am. I’m gonna keep my story short
Depressed since I was in grade 3. Parents are always arguing. They aren’t the most supportive parents. A sibling that would torment me. High school was nothing but torment. I was a loner.
I’m now 26 years old and my life is still shit. I know the whole cliche “Your life will get better.” It does, but it can also gets worst.
I wish to be happier, but I can’t.. I feel like.. I don’t deserve any happiness.
As I […]
Hey guys, sorry, this is kind of my first post. Just I felt I needed to share some things that were on my mind. Don’t really feel comfortable talking about these things but it’s been weighing on me pretty heavily.
I’ve… well I mean there’s no easy way to say it… But I’ve contemplated suicide before. Never was able to do anything about it, but the thought goes through my head a lot more than I care to admit. I’ve just been having so much stress compiled on me, and so many things going through my head it’s just killing me.
The thing is I’m the last […]
You don’t know how much I’ve tried to talk to people about how I feel. My depression is getting worse, no one listens. I wonder what it would be like if I was dead, would I finally be at peace?When I was 14 I was told every thing would be better and I was lied to. I’m 17 and my life is hell. I just need someone to listen to me! School is hell! I feel so alone there.. I get these looks like I’m the ugliest person alive and I feel like shit. I’m cluttered with shit tons of work and I can never […]
Hi.. I just wanted to tell my story… So i suddenly one day find myself completly emotionless… This feeling continued for about some days. Then I started to cry without any reason. I just became sad because of… really nothing. So Things were bad but not like I wanted to self harm or end my life, yet. Then this boy came into my life… Ofcourse I fell in love With him… He showed me that he liked me to, told me I was beautiful, skinny, smart and more… We talked 24/7 and went out together… Then suddenly he tells me that what we are doing […]
I just wish I could escape, to get out of here. To just walk endlessly and lie down and die. Just disappear. I’m so fucking done. All the people, all the people; my friends, people I don’t wanna know, people I used to know. I tried and I fucked up, I haven’t had my pills in about a week. I just feel like shit. Everything’s crashing down, gone, just pointless bullshit. I hope she’s okay, I’m just unable to be there for her right now like I should(?) be. I need a reprieve. I need sleep too but that’ll just lead to more school. She […]
I want to start off by saying this is not so much a cry for help as it is more just for someone to listen for once in my life. You know the guy you always hear about with the “so fucked up it belongs on TV” life? The guy who is a struggling drug addict, unmedicated bi-polar, self hating suicidal freak? The guy who’s self-esteem is at absolute zero because no matter what he does or how hard he tries he is never good enough for anyone? Well, in a short description, that guy is me. I’m not proud or happy to tell anyone […]