Hes the one guy ive loved unconditionaly, stupid sying that since in merely 16. we nerve kissed or talked much. but he fixed me, i could trut him. Then he left, just vanished without saying good bye. i started breaking again, everything went wrong but i was on my own, found that cutting helped ( yes stupid old lovesick naive idiot that i was) a year later he emailed me, we talked and he said he still loved me… i let my guard down, i wanted to feel again, i believed it. then he vanished again, a month letter i found out he’d been engaged. […]
Tag:
Nerve
So..like..what the actual fuck?
I’m not one of the prettiest people on the planet but, seriously, so many people are “in love” with me, I can’t seem to get a grip on it. There’s this boy that I’ve been talking to that says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and, honestly, I’m okay with that because I feel the same way. The thing is: he started out nicely and we got to know each other like friends first, then brother and sister, and now, he wants to go out with me. Woo.
Then, on the other hand, there’s a boy I knew […]
Ive never been that girl to be “depressed”. Im always laughin,even when there’s that one thing that killed my mood,i always find something stupid to laugh at…now i realise that that was my brain’s automatic way of blocking out what i call pain.
Something happened tonight that changed me,my whole mental state. My dad hit me..not just hit but PUNCHED me. He misinterpreted something i said and took it as an insult, so then,he punched me. I must admit, im not the most respectful child,at all. But i NEVER thought my own father would punch me,as if i was one of his scumbag friends. Ive always […]
I just got fired from Walmart tonight for some ridiculous reason. “Oh, you’re too slow. I need to tell you things ten times before you understand.” This isn’t the first time I’ve been fired from a job for these reasons. I’m now 27 years old and I’m thinking that if I can’t find a job in the next little while that I can keep for longer than 90 days, I may as well end it. As Michael Douglas’ character said it in the film “Falling Down”, maybe I’m just not economically viable. Most of my family is dead and no one really gives a damn […]
Every day there is something new–some new problem, some new slight real or imagined.  I don’t want to deal with them anymore.
I need to make a decision soon on the best way to die.  Any spare moment I have is spent thinking about the best way to kill myself. Part of me wants to get a gun and shoot myself in the head in the middle of the woods. That way even if I don’t die right away, I’ll bleed out.  A gunshot to the head is lethal, about 100 percent effective especially if I do it in a secluded area and no one finds me […]
The days when you just feel like giving up. I was determined to be happy today; my all time favorite person (my grandad) is coming for a visit soon and I was excited. But I dont think the universe is ready for me to be happy yet… No, shit HAS to go down and depress me again.
My best friend in the word, my only friend really, has decided to ruin my day. See, we’re in a group to do some little skit in French class… She cant do it. She is incapable of memorizing her 4 lines and refuses to try a simpler part. Its […]
Hi, my name is Liz. I don’t know how to start talking about my feelings, it seems like they haven’t been around for a while, The thing is, I turned 20 and realised that a whole moment in my life was skipped. Now, everything is basically wake up, go to college, go to work and sleep. It’s like the world no longer exist and I’m a machine. I’ve tried to get into society, to be around other people, but I just didn’t fit. It seems like everything is controlled by a biological rule, you need to have a good appearance so you will have the […]
I put my heart and my soul
Into everything I write
You came here and you stole
And betrayed the copyright
From another site
(2 actually)
If you’re gonna cite word for word
At least have the nerve
To tell us you didn’t write it
But you keep on lying, you deny it
Makes me wonder if your life is
Half as bad as you claim
Im not here to ruin your highness
I’m not about any fame
I’m just being honest
And honestly I’m mad
How could you could lie this much
Who do you think you are, my dad?
Just be real with us and yourself
Hell, maybe you do need […]
This is what could, as you would say “break the camel’s back”. I may have lost someone I considered a brother, but I could lose the only closest person after him… My sister (not related).
My sister and I have been close friends for close to about six years. We have spent so much time together and told each other many secrets. Even though I still act somewhat paranoid around her, I know she still cares for me and we love each other very much. It was only recently did we start talking again since there was a break in our education that allowed up free […]
IM SERIOUS. this is NO LIE. every relationship ive ever been in, has been longdistanced and somene i met online. WHY? what the fuck is wrong with me in person???? i keep track in my mind at school whos single and who aint..well turns out in my grade? im like the only one who isnt walking beside their bf. this is so nerve wrecking like huh am i a loner? maybe. i just wish i knew why im so unappealing in person..im one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet (unless u piss me off and u will wish u never knew me) so ita […]
hi there, im a girl
and i am currently suicidal.
everyday i wake up, and try to think of three reasons to live, i only ever think of one. My friends, even though none of my friends know im like this, no one knows (except for my sister and i will explain that later), they are literally the only reason i keep on living because i love seeing them everyday, those four people being the only ones who can make me smile. I have a feeling one of them is like me, but i haven’t got the nerve to ask. I told one of them about […]
My depression started when I was around 6 years old. Â It started when I was sexually abused by my cousin and his dad. At the time I didnt know what was wrong and what was right, how could I? I was just a little kid. All that ended when I was 13 years old. The sad part of my story with them is that their family is seen as the perfect family. All the kids in that family were well mannered, smart, went to good schools etc. I never told anyone what happened, because….. I didnt want to hurt my family, and I didnt know […]
I am so completely exhausted by constant suicidal thoughts and fantasies. Anytime I make a little mistake, or when someone’s response to what I’ve said feels off, there’s a voice berating me, telling me, “I hate you, you’re a stupid fucking whore, go kill yourself. Go kill yourself Rachel. Go kill yourself,” over and over and over. Every day. The theory being: “Everyone remembers every little stupid thing you do and they hate you for it. You should kill yourself and make them forget how stupid you are. Don’t tell anyone, don’t ask for help. They’ll never see it coming.” I don’t think I’ll actually […]
i will never understand someone who can say someone else is judgmental and that person themselves are. My sister judges me a lot. She calls me a jerk, mean, emotionless everything, and i dont understand why. She doesn’t know what i went through everyday at school. Do i think im a jerk and all that? No! And if i am then i don’t mean to be. Everyone has their off days. it just pisses me the freak off when she says that stuff about me. I feel like she doesnt even know anything about me or my life, or the things i go through, and she has the nerve to sit […]
In 8th grade, I was 13, I was 5’5″, and I was 125lbs. I was teased for eating too much and being overweight, when in reality I knew I wasn’t. I knew at the beginning anyway. I’d been bullied my entire life, and I could shake this off easily.
For a while.
My eyes were convinced first. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat girl. An ugly girl. When I looked down at my stomach, I always sucked it in for about an hour afterwords.
My mind followed suit. I thought I was fat. I looked at every meal I ate and started trying to leave some every […]
i just dont see anything anymore
i had goals i had a future i had hope i had a purpose but thats the problem i fucked up and now im lost i dont know what to do i tell people what i used to see they respond that i should give up not litterally though cuz i have no nerve fuck yeah actually i do i can picture death so vividly it makes me want it more painless and free yes damn thats all i want i wanna be done im already dying externally i just need to be dying internally i want and wish […]
So I had standardized testing on computers today, and my teacher gave an instruction he was unclear about, and I did the wrong thing, and he fucking screamed at me right in front of everyone. I made it to my quiet corner of the band room before I started crying (it was lunch after the tests). So I spent half an hour sitting behind the brass kettle drums, trying not to cry and slicing at my wrist with scissors, because I didn’t want to bleed everywhere.
When people yell at me, especially with an audience, it reminds me of my dad, who has abused my mom […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]
I’m crazy, I must be crazy. Out of the blue I took a pen and sticky note and wrote “Hey, I like you. and this is crazy, but here’s my love note, so prom….maybe?” on it, then stuck it to the locker of the girl I want to ask out to prom. WHY DID I DO THAT?
I don’t know what to think, but I did it, it’s done, and nobody can erase it now…unless I somehow get to her locker before she does, open it up, take it off, and hide it before anyone can see? But that won’t work. No. I have to get […]
What if the kids from school read this?
Will they make fun of me more? Will they beat me up?…AGAIN? Will they think I am just a poser? What will they think of me? If they think I am a poser, they can go get in line. I have my scars for my proof. I have too many scars to be a poser. And no they are not just bike-crash scars. They are cutting scars. I have been cutting my self for a while, trying to work up the nerve to just end it. End my suffering. End the sad thing I call my life. Too […]
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