I just have no drive or motivation in life anymore. Sure I could improve if I found another job or moved to a new location but whats the point? I’ll still spend the next 40-50 years paying off debts, kissing the arse of some twat so I don’t get fired and then eventually die anyway.
Hi, I am new and suicidle, i want to feel better and I guess the best way is to know some people to talk to, or perhaps do the exit thing together, want something to change in my life, I guess friend matters a lot, been by myself for too long……. Anyone?
So I’m new on here, but Weirdly enough I find it easier to vent to people I dont know rather than people I do know. I guess cause usually the people I do know end up judging me and leaving. Surprise, surprise.
So my family is really messed up, and I’ve been self harming for almost 2 years now. I’ve attempted suicide 9 times and, well, obviously, got nowhere with that. I’m also anorexic.
I just feel like I’m in a fish tank. I can’t move, can’t breathe, and no one can hear or understand me. I’m trapped in my own emotions and hurt. And day by […]
Hi, im Bunny and i like to meet new people, would you guys be my friends? ah, nice to know.
Well, about me? I like to act, to sing, i love going to the gym ! Friends? I dont know… looks like im a popular boy, everyone wants to go bed with me… ops, bed? i meant everyone cares for me. Oh quite the hypocrisy, no one cares to anyone, they just wanna bed you, you’re a mere toll, was I? Oh yeah… rape me please, as you do again and again.
Oh Isaque, your skin seems so pretty, can I touch it? Sure you can milady.
Which moisturizer […]
I’m new and don’t really know how to do this so I’ll just keep it simple.
I have been battling the devil known as ‘chronic major depression’ since high school (I am now 22), social anxiety, and eating disorders. Last year I was at my lowest. Almost put a gun to my head twice before I scared myself and decided to try some help. I saw a counselor for maybe two weeks before I gave up going cause she didn’t seem professional, I was being a huge burden to my parents with the money and the worry, and she made me stay away when she […]
i thought I was doing well. I thought I had been able to overcome some aspects of depression and hit art a new, better life. But one bad day brought me back to the point I was at over a year ago. One. Bad. Day.
I haven’t been here in about a week…mainly because I was feeling pretty good. A good level place. Today I was running on pure hyped up energy. Haven’t been eating all to well…and today I feel…too good. Does that make sense? Have you ever felt that way? I seriously feel like I’m climbing up a really tall tree right now. I keep looking down and seeing how far I’ve gone but keep going higher. I have the shakes. Nervous laughter keeps bubbling up my throat. I’m home alone and find myself moving from room to room because sitting in one place doesn’t feel good….even though […]
Got a new antidepressant. Trazodone, starting with 50 mg = one pill.
Feel like reading a book? Forget about it, you’re tired as hell.
Feel like going to sleep? Forget about it, you’ll end up gazing at the ceiling.
Feel like having sex? Forget about it. You can’t come.
Plus migraines, headaches (which are actually mild migraines, I think), I have the need to piss too many times a day. And dizziness, fucking dizziness.
So yeah, professor, I think I am getting well. That’s fucking helping.
Note: I wrote the above out of pure rage and I know that the professor is not to blame. It also may […]
Why do you play with my emotions?
You actually asked me how I felt.
You already have someone so why do you want me?
I felt something new with you today that actually gave me hope.
You’re such an asshole.
Why do I miss you so much when we’re apart?
Do you miss me?
Wow my cousin is such a *****
i thought my family new that i was “gay”
well im actually bi but i’ll never tell them that
well my cousin looked at my history
and he thinks im gay why dose he care what i watched. And why dose he care what i do in my life hes my cousin for god sake he should worrie about his mum and himself
ohh godd i wish i could kill my self
but i cant
i even wished a car could kill me ahhh
-brian
Losing one’s mind can really make you lose your mind. I lost mine, and as though it doesn’t make much sense, because I haven’t found it yet, I feel like I keep losing it.
Like I’m falling an endless hole, like I’m drowning in a bottomless sea. Just when I think it can’t get any worse my inner demons welcome me to a new and improved methods of suffering. I can’t fucking take it anymore.
I make a plan. 3AM. Overdose. Yet every night at 2:59AM I bail. I just go on dying. Oh well.
I gave up the search for my lost mind. They say when things get […]
I quietly wait for the end.
The of end a sentence, the end of a song, the end of the day,
the end of the hour, the end of the dream, the end of this way.
The end of the cycle, the end of time,
the end of the mind, this peaceful end of mine.
I try to rush forward in hopes of meeting you sooner, but in the end I am denied.
Sadly someone selfishly wants me alive,
when all I want is for the quiet to arrive.
Dear End please hurry! Do not delay,
for I know when you come a new dream we […]
I made a bunch of amazing friends my freshman year, i finally felt loved and excepted by these amazing people. I was surrounded by love, art, understanding, and passion. School ended i said my goodbyes and had to go home knowing i would not return to them in the fall. Summer went on and i was alone in a new city with only my brother and mom to keep me company; but that wasnt so terrible; one of my friends lives 40 mins away so id see her maybe once a week or a few days every other week; plus my best friend frmo school […]
In today’s society depression and suicide are always on a back burner. They do not talk about it because what would they say? They say just don’t do it. Just be happy. If it were that easy if be happy yesterday . I’d have already flipped my happy switch. Even more so for me being an African American female, people are totally confused. Only because a young privellaged white boy has become the poster child for depression, where everyone is there if they need anything. But when a young African American female is depressed it is so unusual . And so I am deemed crazy […]
Everything has caught up to me again and I am once again obsessed with putting a bullet in my brain. I should have seen it coming – I’ve let things build up. Old ghosts, a recent death of someone once more important to me than life itself, old pain and new pain. The shit has piled up on me and I am suffocating.
I should know better. I should deal with things as they come. But I just can’t. I don’t have that much control over my own life. I am such a useless piece of crap to myself and to everyone around me. It doesn’t […]
I had a bit of an epiphany a moment ago; I’ve been listening to the same music for a while now.
Not that it hasn’t been great, love the groups I listen to (Avenged 7x, ADTR, Suicide Silence, SWS, Breaking Ben, Slipknot, All that Remains, All Time Low, Bullet For My Valentine, Avril L, Evanescence, etc)
Anyway, would love some new material. Even if it’s just a song stuck in your head, I wanna hear about it.
And you cannot CHANGE the PAST … the endless stress, worrying, beating yourself up and regrets DO NOTHING except wear you down, eat away at your sanity and immune system and waste time. Learn from it and move on … tomorrow is another day and another […]
Not entirely sure how or what to write on here. This is a huge gamble for me as I’ve never talked to anyone about how I truly feel everyday. I guess it’s my fear of constantly being judged and viewed as “weak”. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety from a young age; about 12 or so. Unfortunately society was a lot less educated on the subject and it was just chalked up to “hormones” and “puberty”. I’ve always been incredibly shy and quiet and I was consistently bullied throughout all my childhood. I’m of mixed race and grew up in a small predominately “white” town so I […]
All my life, people have hated and humiliated me for no reason. I have social anxiety disorder. I look timid and weird, so people treat me like crap. I’ve had rocks and trash thrown at me for no reason. Strangers scream at and intimidate me for fun. I stay home most of the time. I’m always lonely, so sad, and so angry. I’ve never been on a date. I’m so sick of life. I feel like the devil is punishing me for no reason. I wish I could close my eyes and die, but every morning I unwillingly wake up to a brand new damn […]
My dog was misbehaving a bit today, not the first time and I thought I’d just talk to her so she knows she can’t do what she did. Instead I slapped her in the head so hard that even I could not believe it. Instantly I knew I should not have done that and I regret it very much, but it was as if I was not there, it was someone else hitting her. I feel that dog would be happier some place else, so I will try looking for new home for her and after that I can die. I hope I will, because […]