So there’s this guy that I’ve been talking to for more than a month and he’s depressed he really needs help he’s been through a world of pain I want him to get help so bad but I don’t think he’ll listen to me he told me last night that he wants to kill him self he said he won’t do it now but one day he will explode and do it he really needs help but how do I convince him to get help I love him very much and he loves me to and no matter what I will always be by his […]
Tag:
night
There are so many people suffering, So many people on the verge of death. They wake up every morning hoping their fate will change, praying for a miracle. Every night they dream of being free from their condition and living a full happy life.
And then here I am, a person with a healthy life, with my whole life ahead of me. Healthy and young I have so much to live for, but every day I wake up and hope my fate will change, I pray for tragedy. Every night I dream of being free from this condition called life.
Why cant we switch. Why I can I […]
My husband of four year hates me..
He has lost all of his patient.. He’s very short and snappy with his words..
Little things about me that used to not bother him make him go off
We can never have non-casual conversations anymore..
He raises his voice more often than ever..
His kiss on a cheek or him saying love you is just a daily routine but not out of his heart..
Now he only cuddles, hugs, puts his arm around me, kisses, or is sweet when he wants sex…
I feel like being stuck at a bottom of a pool but don’t know how to swim…
I know our marriage is ending, […]
Been trying to end it. all night. By using a scarf tied tightly around my neck and trying to sleep or just laying in bed, To suffocate, go unconscious, then finally death. Does anyone think this will work eventually? If I can make it tight enough. I can feel all the blood rushing to my head and it gets hard to breath, but I somehow get thru it. Any other simple ways to suffocate self to death. So desperate for an answer need to die tonight
WARNING: THIS INVOLVES SCREAMO, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.
This song made me cry the other night, of course I have no right to cry. I have no right to be forgiven after what I did, but that ‘s besides the point. This is for all of you who do deserve a shot, and a second chance.
i’ve been feeling worthless. been going through a break down every night for the past week. been googling a “peaceful way” to leave this planet with no avail. been eating bags and bags of candy because im a fat p.o.s. and i cant throw up anymore because my gag reflex is shot. wheres my self control?
i dont know all i can say is that i really am close to killing myself. im really waiting it out because I am transgendered and i have my first appt to hopefully start my hormonal therapy. im HOPING i will feel less depressed, less suicidal now that im going […]
Yesterday I was feeling really depressed. I just get out of bed to take the dog out and I went to a dinner with my classmates. Of course I get drunk. But instead of being happy and a silly drunk this time I started crying. I ruined the my friends’ dinner and I cried all night. They tried to comfort me but I was so embarrassed I just wanted to disappear. They are really good friends but I don’t deserve them. I left the restaurant without mobile phone and no money and went for a walk alone. Meanwhile I get lost in the city, but […]
I haven’t been on this site for two and a half years and yet here I am back again. Folks around me say it’s a testament to my strength that I’ve made it this far, but I say it’s a wonderful combination of cowardice and my old friend Jack. I don’t really know what I wanted to say here but I just needed to say something somewhere to someone. A lot of the time it’s the silence that gets to me, albeit I bring that silence upon myself. Nobody to talk to about this stuff, nobody that really honestly wants to hear what I think. […]
Deer just isnt right
Deer tells himself that he isnt mentally ill
he thinks people will just use this against him
Deer hears things that arent really there sometimes
Deer gets urges to do really bad things sometimes like setting things on fire and watching them burn Or dragging filling his body with poison and constantly feels bad
he can’t complete daily tasks without feeling pain or wanting to go back to bed
he cant sleep at night and spends hours laying in bed thinking about everything he’d done wrong that day
he acknowledges his paranoia and anxiety but tries to ignore everything else
he doesnt knows […]
*sigh*, I don’t even know how to begin. It’s not in our Hispanic culture to give up or speak about our feeling so I don’t know how to start this post.
I’ve always had thoughts of ending my life, but I’ve always been able to suppress them and put them in a corner. Now I just thought of giving up. I am 19 years old, fresh out of high school with no sense of purpose. I work 10 hour days which give me alot of time to think. I think about all my friends who have gone on to college and to […]
I lost my soul when these two men came by on a Halloween night. I wasn’t afraid to walk alone, searching for some bathroom maybe close by the festival. They appeared out of no where and grabbed me in the corner of an isolated dead-end. The first one held a knife at my neck, telling me that if I made any sound, my life would end.
I lost my soul that night. Their filthy hands all over me, in my shirt, between my legs, in my pants. Their breath was smelling like alcohol and vomit. I tried to close my eyes so that I could maybe […]
I used to sleep all day and all night. Now I sleep all day but I’m awake all night. I’m scared to go to bed. I fear the day that comes next. I don’t want it to be tomorrow don’t want to wake up and pretend not to be miserable. Don’t want to have to see people, talk to them. Interact with the kids that is my job. I’m just scared.
I wonder now if it is impossible to kill the darkest part of yourself. I want nothing more than to murder the other part of myself, but sadly it is intertwined with the part of me that by necessity must live. My constant struggle continues in a blur of rage and suicidal desire. What is probably the saddest part of this tale is that I cannot simply “TALK” to someone about this. It’s not like I don’t know how to convey the emotions, or how to tell someone what is going on with me, it is more like an infection. I know better than anyone […]
Why?
I am tired of asking the same fucking question
I am tired of smiling when inside i feel like i am dying
I am tired of the fucking bullshit
I am tired of lies
Don’t i deserve the truth??
Why does everybody seem to love screaming at me?
Fuck
Why did i have to be born??
Urrgh
Bone crushing pain i feel everyday
Tired of this cycle repeating
Tired of begging for help
Tired of feeling alone
Tired of myself
Tired of not being enough
Tired of making eveyone else happy
Tired of being left out
Tired of hoping for nothing
Tired of dreamless […]
I really feel like im out of touch lately. Kinda droning on by..just on auto-pilot most of the times. My visions been getting weird and im having bouts of dizziness every now and then. I feel like im in pain both physically and emotionally that its just been one drug after another. Hell, just the other night i wrapped up ‘life is strange’ with a cocktail of rum two painkillers, a muscle relaxer and my sereoquel to top it off. And i was still awake and in pain into odd hours of the morning…feel like im growing a little dependant on popping pills just to […]
She stands there as the wind blows past her face. The rush of the air is nothing compared to that of her heart. Does this really excite her? Standing here as the world rushes by her, and thinking that if she took that step this could all end. Oh, she’s “okay” nothing terribly terrible’s happened to her recently and she has school and that lovely man waiting at home for her every night. So why does she stand here? Why do these demons infest her? Why is it that she can’t seem to stay happy anymore, or just get up and work. She knows what […]
I’ve created another short story, I have another one up from a while ago if you’re interested.
by thelost
written by thelost
She stands there, the darkness stains her skin, turning it form it’s normal tan color to that of the darkest night. It runs over her skin like droplets of blood. It misses every scar, every last cut on her skin. It terrifies her, this darkness, but that terror is intoxicating, as intoxicating as that first bottle of whiskey she choked down. As intoxicating as her first pill, as her slow fall into this hell. The woman never meant to let this happen, she swore that she was too strong for this to take here down. She was strong goddammit, and she was normal, she had […]
so again I’m saying I quit. I’ve posted before saying I planned to end it, and obviously changed my mind. Well I’m back with a new plan. I did a little research, picked out my date. The steps are in motion. I’m tired of going back and forth and honestly I don’t want help. I don’t want to get better. I know I can’t. I did the math and I’ve had sucidal thoughts for around 8 yrs. I first tried to kill myself in 8th grade so I was around 12. And since then it’s been back and forth. I’ve tried to end it so […]
Hello lovelies. Sorry about not posting lately… things have been a tad bit crazy. Got rushed to the ER last night, and seven hours later, the doctors still don’t know what’s wring with me heh. But I guess my internal bleeding wasn’t extraordinarily alarming, because I was able to go home. I’m hoping it isn’t anything too horrible… and now I’m sitting in my room, not only bleeding internally, but externally. Somehow, this damn razor jumped in my hand and my thigh got in the way…It seems once a cutter, always a cutter. I thought I was getting better; better in the physical sense. The […]
“Her Last Words”
By:
COURTNEY PARKER
Just an average girl
She always wore a smile
She was cheerful and happy for a short while
Now she’s older, things are getting colder
Life’s not what she though, she wishes someone had told her
She told you she was down, you let it slip by
So from then on she kept it on the inside
She told herself she was alright
But she was telling white lies
Can’t you tell? Look at her dull eyes
Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
But she knew there was no […]