i’ve been feeling worthless. been going through a break down every night for the past week. been googling a “peaceful way” to leave this planet with no avail. been eating bags and bags of candy because im a fat p.o.s. and i cant throw up anymore because my gag reflex is shot. wheres my self control?
i dont know all i can say is that i really am close to killing myself. im really waiting it out because I am transgendered and i have my first appt to hopefully start my hormonal therapy. im HOPING i will feel less depressed, less suicidal now that im going down the path that is suited for me.
4 comments
Congratulations for your pending hormone therapy beginning. Be easy on yourself, you are entering a wonderful transition. All I can say is I am listening.
I am glad you decided to wait. Congrats on starting the hormone therapy. And like hazy said we are listening 🙂
There is someone in your life that desperately needs your help. They have some serious shit to deal with and you are uniquely in a position to help them. They love you and they asked me to deliver this message to you.
°°°°°
Dear Chanchan,
We’ve never met, yet we know each other so well. There are so many great things in our lives that we’ve shared and we have gotten through some of the worst times together. What I really need from you is to think good thoughts about the transition. I need you to keep an eye on the details of what you are going through and take care of yourself. I know you will fail any number of times and that’s OK! The important thing is you keep getting up and try again. You, and only you, are the only reason I’m alive today and in a good place. Thank you so much for caring about me. I love you so much!!!
Signed,
Your future self
That was lovely.