i know ppl dont care, but its nice when theY pretend to. they let me get close to them, thinking i could trust them, but than as soon as i do one little thing wrong, they turn their backs on me. I honestly couldnt care, i realized i havent talked to anyone in 2 days straight, and for once i felt better about myself. But than my supposedly “best friend” calls me a conceited *****. just because i dont want to talk. i only did this for me…… and the one time i do something for myself, im a selfish slut? like seriously what the […]
Tag:
night
Since my relationship crumbled a few weeks ago, I have had this sinking feelingp in the pit of my stomach. I would wake up with it. It’d be with me until I went to bed at night. The only time i could ignore it was at work.
Sometimes, I’d wake up in the morning and cry myself into a vomit session. Worst part about that is not having ingested anything but weed and alcohol for the past 23hours. I’d rather drink than eat. Eating is so hard now but it used to be my favorite thing. Now nothing has taste. I went to bed last night […]
But still, I hate when I have dreams so vivid and real it’s like I’m seriously there. I could feel everything last night in my one particular dream. Feeling the slice and stab of the knife as I tried defending myself. That after-the-fact pain, the bleeding. I could see the bleeding. It was so real, the way it seeped down my side and soaked into my shirt. I strangely enjoyed that.
Self harm withdrawal? Medication side effects? A combination of both? Who knows.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VjTG21T8aU
Hey y’all. I’ve been a long time lurker and just decided to make an account. Reading some of the things here seems to help me sleep at night and reminds me that there’s always an alternative to life.
My title to this post is tired of life and that statement couldn’t be any truer for me right now. Fourth of July just past and I celebrated it with my blood relatives, relatives and their friends. The party was at my aunts house and she has a pool and yard for fireworks. Many people would be excited to enjoy the beautiful day out in the sunshine, […]
Last night I came very close to an exit, I was ready, but I’m not sure what made me wait. I know some of it is my business responsibilities, I don’t want to let anyone down but I’m not sure why it matters so much to me? It’s not like their world won’t go on. I have decided I won’t exit in my apartment, I will take a road trip, no cell. I have enough meds stockpiled to shut my system down completely, just add alcohol. I’m so consumed by darkness – I’m physically never going to be well again, the doctors were plain about […]
Id just cut both of my arms they burn its hot theres blood its burning the only reason i did it was becuz of him….he has a party hosted n there girlz who dnt respect a relationship, im scared to Kno what is going on….im crying scared worried paranoid, uploads pics of him n money lik no tht not CUTE n then of bottles n bottles of liquor, it just worries me n i wanna let him kno but then i dnt wanna ruin his night. He pinky promise he wasnt ginna drink o smoke n i hope it stays lik tht
I’m trying to endure, hope against hope, but the obvious is staring me in the face… nothingness, nothing really to look forward to, I’m alone. One night stands are easy and empty – I can’t cope any longer, time is drawing nigh.
I am not a suicidal person, but this does make me sad. I have known this girl for 2 years, and throughout those 2 years I have slowly and slowly fell in love with her. If I were to rate how much I love her on a scale of 1-10 as of today, it would be an eight. Here is the problem though. She pains me and hurts me so much, but she doesn’t mean to. She doesn’t even know show does. She knows how I feel, and she always seems flirtatious, but then some other time she makes it seem like she’s doing it […]
I have this demon, he lives inside me. He tells me that if i cut deeper and deeper , every thing that is wrong with me will go away.
The more i cut he says, the more it will leave my mind. He tells the truth, he is the one that helps me when no one else is there. One day I am going to be gone, but my demon will live on. Have yourselves a good night darlings~
“The Sound Of Silence” is track #12 on the album Old Friends Live on Stage. It was written by Traditional, . / Mcglynn, Michael Philip
Hello Darkness my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted
In my brain still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams, I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash
Of a neon light that split the night
It’s strange. I am not exactly what you’d call a thin person, nor am I tragically obese. In reference to fruit, I would say that I am an apple. I’m large around the midsection. It would be safe to assume that I don’t run…or exercise daily. I’m not a fitness nut nor am I terribly unhealthy. In fact, I’m quite average. I can walk a mile in 10 minutes flat, which doesn’t sound like much to some but I know people who are, 1/24th my size and they couldn’t walk a mile in 10 minutes if their life depended on it.
Lately, my sleep schedule has […]
AN: Another poem here. Thank you for taking the time to read this. The ironic thing about this poem though is that I don’t drink and yet I’m writing about that.Great if someone reviewed, to all those out there who likes to drink, does this poem connect with anyone of you?
Round and round the roulette goes,
will it stop or will it blow?
Slipping into oblivion,
it’s time to drink like the Russians and let go.
It’s time to drink your worth,
and bet your all in this one barrel,
a single shot,
and you might finally get to rot.
Heave ho and we go,
drinking till the sun goes down,
drinking our fill till […]
I wonder if I’m mad.
At times I feel so content with life
and the next moment I’m loathing it.
I want to be special, that elite, that genius, that child prodigy,
And yet when I look back ,
all I want is a simple life , a simple home, and experience that simple happiness.
Depressing thoughts come swiftly in my mind,
whispering such tempting and soothing threats,
and only with it do I feel alive.
Am I twisted, a lunatic , a mad man for thinking such a thing?
It feels as though despair has becomed my only friend.
And without it I feel incomplete.
Despair, it is the black of the night,
and the night of […]
AN: I just joined this website and this was something that I wrote a while back when I was down.I don’t happen to have any mental disorders or abnormalities and the disorders written in here are merely words that flowed into my mind when I was down. I don’t mean to offend anyone here , I’m just sharing my poem. It’d be great if anyone replied though…
The horrors of my mind,
they haunt my days and night.
I’m afraid to close my eyes,
for I know that it is there where they reside.
I’m so empty that it scares me.
Purplish bruises form below my eyes,
I hardly sleep
and yet I […]
3 failed over dose attempts, i tried again last night,
just feel so empty and lost,
without my only support (my nan)
who passed away about a year ago
now the time is nearing and its getting me down
having arguments with people whom i care about just adds to the pile of crap which seems to be my life.
Like fleeting winds we travel, dipping across the slope of currents, lying suspended in the grasp of ebbing free fall, sucked into the satisfying regression of ephemeral flight. Your essence is wrapped around me, coating my spirit in the intensity of all your aggregated passion. We bear wings but no consciousness of them, allowing us to maneuver without thought and guided by the subconscious will of pure sentience. I’m beyond captivated by your presence, inebriated by the sustenance provided by your existence and the warm, chilly elation buzzing in my skin from your touch. The night swirls around us, breezes twirling and propelling our ascent, […]
So, it has been a large number of years since the first time I wanted to be dead. Gone. Not here with all of the drama and BS that i have been unable to escape since i was born. However, last night, i was for some reason given the chance to see just one small part of the insanity that has plaqued my friends and family for years. The light has been turned on! They must sit by and watch this “person” that i become, verbally bash them and make them feel like shit.
I always thougt they were lying.
Now with that light turned […]
Why do my days get worse and worse I never have anything good in my life ever and I never will. Any time I find something or someone that makes me happy it gets takin away from me. Why live my life everyday miserable and never actually live my life. Iv been alive for 22 years now but I never lived one day yet…. Why would I keep dealing with this? I have no one and nothing to live for. I’m meant to kill myself, I’m just too scared to like a coward I wish I can have the strength to just kill myself and […]
How much better would life be without having to deal with mindless, narcissistic and self absorbed assholes? As if I don’t have enough shit sandwiches to eat every day, I have these useless bastards in my life that live for one and only one reason – to force everyone around them to kiss their asses. They never lose any sleep over unpaid bills or potential home foreclosure. They don’t ever get scraped up off the floor in the middle of the night and hauled to the Emergency Room because their lungs stop working. They don’t worry about how to get to work when their car […]