Been experiencing a fair amount of angst wrt this recently. It’s been seven years since I started, two since I “stopped”, and to be honest I still slip up now and then. I’ve been experiencing the urges. I’m back at my parents’ house for the summer, and though I’ve been mostly recovered for two years there’s still a dearth of sharp objects in the house. I used to compulsively hoard spare blades whenever I felt the urge to cut (in lieu of actually doing it). I literally bought in bulk, stashed paper cutters in every nook and cranny I could think of because they kept […]
My ex husband left me back in September. Today would have been 9 years. I can’t do this anymore. It has been nine months since he walked out and I still hate everything. I can’t even get my self going enough to take a shower most days. I will go 3-4 days without one. I am still shopping online for my supplies. I don’t know how much longer I can take this or how much longer I can wait for this to happen. I have a general idea of when I want this to all happen, but I don’t have a definitive date yet. I […]
This isnt really my story but ill tell you anyway.
when i was growing up i had i close girl ‘friend’ who played with me every day. unlike me though, she was from a broken home and was abused by her dad, i was to young to understand at the time.she put up with this until she was a about 12 when her dad went for it and….well you can probably guess what happened, after that she tod the cops and they probably took him to prison.
it’s now 4 years after her dads gone (i dunno were she don’t tell me) and […]
had a thought today what if i did actually kill myself? one of my siblings or my mother finding me? then telling the whole family/close people relating to my death..tears streamed down my face, yes i do feel sad at times and suicidal and when turning to God i feel He isn’t helping me…although God has a plan for me and things happen for a reason..i cannot see or feel that things are picking up but seeing hurt upon my mother’s eyes? even though i would be dead..my mother going through life with pain and hurt from losing a child, her baby who grew in […]
Hi my full name is not that important right now but I will be revealing it on a later post..
So this is my story..I’m a writer a very good one if I may say so myself and I “was” quite clever to, although I had a average life growing up with both parents and a grandparents who love me and spoiled me in every way possible growing up in the new South Africa..so if you asking yourself why am i here writing this post on this “suicide project” if I had such a good child hood..thing is life was never good to me..truth is the […]
Lets see how much of this I can say without crying…
When I was 3 I moved from Michigan to Indiana because my parents got divorced. My mother immeadiatly got custody of me and my bother and sister. 3 years later my dad got remairred to a woman named Stephanie. She was nice most of the time, some of the time she was just awful. When my dad was gone she would scream and throw things. She secretly hated my father. All she wanted was a baby, but he couldn’t give her that. We all knew about this, but he never realized it. One night, […]
I’m unhappy, more than unhappy actually. I don’t know whats wrong with me I have nothing left to live for and if I could I would drop dead right now. I know there are people that love me but the one person I want to love me doesn’t. The women who knew me before I knew myself, the women who carried me for nine months hates me, and I cant do a damn thing about it. Today I realized that I have become just like her. i am mean and I say things to people just to hurt them. I can’t stop myself and it […]
I just keep on going, but I’m so very tired of it. My family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, none of them want me to give up and go. But it’s all I can do to just brush my teeth or eat something.
I lost my job a month ago. It was my first real job out of college. It was full-time, paid very well. I was so happy. Elated. I wanted to do my best, and my boss wanted us to be best friends (she said as much). I should have known better. Your boss is not your friend. I confided in her, relied […]
I just started dating my REALLY good friend-known each other for almost nine months now- and he lives in Egypt. He’s really sweet, kind, and I absolutely love his smile, but the problem-for us- is we have to date online. My family doesn’t really like it when I do that-date over the internet. Especially my sister.
The things that she doesn’t like? Well, to start off, his age. He’s really turning 20 in May. Saying that, I know everyone is going to care about that the most, just like Tiff-since ALL boys at 19 think of only one thing- but please just let me keep going.
Things […]