hi i guess , im new here , i guess im will tell you my story , sorry if this gets boring. im here because i needed something to let out everything thats bottled up in side of me . i dont have a sad story and people may think that why do i do this because i havent gone through enough , i havent been bullied or abused or any strong like that. ive been self harming for about 1 and a half years , the reason is because im in love , i cant have him , he is my best friend , […]
Tag:
no one
I’m not trying to use reverse psychology or guilt anyone here. I seriously am saying, “Don’t mind me…” I just want to complain for a couple sentences to make myself feel better. If you don’t wanna read the complaints of a tired, sick, and crabby person, keep moving. Don’t mind me.
I become very very needy when I am sick. I’ve begun to notice that as I sit here constantly complaining about being frozen and then instantly throwing blankets off because I’m too hot. I “LOVE” being sick…<—That was sarcasm. I think i’ve settled on the notion that i’ve got the flu. Yippie! End sarcasm. Every […]
Hi guys. So, uhm, I’ve been very distraught lately. For the last 6 years I’ve had depression but it really started hitting me last year. Around April, my family turned their back on me. I live with my cousin, sister and grandmother. My cousin wanted to move out and she needed an excuse, so she said I abused her. I had to be forced to move away multiple times from April-September during that time. Also a lot of my closest friends have turned their backs too. I went to a lot of them for help and they all rejected me and this year i made […]
I am 37 and have 2 kids who could easily live without me, a dead end job that barely pays enough to keep the utilities on and gas in the car, no friends, no life outside of work. I spend most of my time staring, reading, or playing whatever game my mouse happens to click on the computer. I am chronically I’ll with an undiagnosed ailment which is most likely going to kill me even if I don’t . I don’t drink or use drugs or terrorize my kids. Growing up and in highschool and the years shortly following, being with someone was at the […]
I have no one in my life. My best friend, doesn’t make me feel like he gives a shit about me. He doesn’t even talk to me some days, but he talks to other people. It hurts a lot. My family isn’t here for me, they’re all to busy with themselves. My other friends don’t care about anyone other then themselves or their boyfriends/girlfriends. I want someone to come over and sit in my room with me and watch a movie and we can just talk about everything. How I feel, how they feel, what’s going on with our families just anything and everything. Just […]
It’s never ending. Every time I recover I get hit with another blow. I’ve made it through trial after trial, never knowing how I ended up on the other side alive. I’m not going to tell my life’s story in my first post on this site, but I will give some insight. I’ve lived the majority of my life alone. What time I was around people; “family”, shelters, fosters, etc.; I always felt different, unwelcome, crazy. I’ve contemplated my death since the beginning of my memories, in a way it fascinates me. I’ve just never had the balls to actually go through with it, I […]
I have worked my stinky little self hard trying to “make it.” Now, I can’t take it anymore. I’m too old. late thirties. The ridicule I get everywhere I go. And I am female so men make sure I know how they feel about nasty women. I am infamous. I smell bad no matter what I do. (Yes, I shower. No I don’t have BV, VD, etc. No one gets close enough to pass me those gifts.) I thought it would go away one day via diet, doctors, etc. Nothing has helped. After 20 years, since puberty, I give up that dream.
I have learned to accept the constant […]
Being alone and being lonely are completely different notions. Being alone is the act of being secluded or apart from other human beings…Being lonely is the emotional detatchment you get from having no emotional connections. You can be in a stadium full of people and still be lonely. That is what I am, lonely. I revel in being alone. I love it. I can walk around my apartment naked if I really wanted to and there would be no one to complain but myself. And up until recently, I never minded be lonely, either. But now, I’m losing sight of any real reason to continue. […]
When you look around for help…and see no one.
I have been self harming for the last past four years and have been asking for help but no one wants to know so there fore tonight maybe the night I take my life I can not cope no more my life has turned upside down and need help coming back onto my feet but no one is willing to help me so y should I help myself.
You know how odd it is, whenever i cry over you .. you text me? Like is this some sick joke? All i want is to hate you but seems to me that will be impossible. I’m so unhappy with life and you just make it worse.. Well today i told Rj i’m tired of being there for everyone else but no one is there for me and i listen to EVERYONE, but yet i have no one? All he said was ‘You need to let people in…’ How can i let people in when my best-friend’s cat scratched her one day and she was […]
so in a efort of seperating lies from truth in my confused head in going to experament with this self help i havent posted on here for qwite some time apart form two posts last night frustrated that all the people i once knew were dead or missing i desided to try this this is my first try at leveing this place iv tryed 26 times that is to say 26 failed tryes and times were iv been a inch away… my first time i remember not so well its kinder a blere but if you can imagine me siting on a sofa pack of 20 crying […]
i havent been on here for a long time iv seen some shit im my time (god i sound like a vam vet !) but you know that dont meen shit people stoped calling me emo now im the hippie guy who smile all the time no one can seem to get to him some one said theres something abotu my eyes something dark if only she knew but ill tell you what ever sins i droped acid once no more no less its opened my mind just enough to let the light and truth in the people are lieing to you the world loves you and its beautiful you […]
I don’t know where to turn for help. I don’t know anything any more. I feel like I am drowning. I feel like I need help. No one will or can help me. I don’t know what to do. I just want all of this to go away…
I’m not good enough for anyone to just love me. It’s all I ask for in this life, I just want someone to love me wholey and honestly but I guess I just don’t deserve that. I guess god thinks I don’t deserve to be happy. I hear the voice in my head everyday that tells me over and over “you’re not good enough, no one really loves you, you’re a disappointment to everyone, just do the world a favor and end it.” And right now that sounds like a good idea. I want to die, slowly and painfully, none of this quick and painless […]
I can only tell you what is working for me at this moment in time. I am taking a multitude of meds at the max doses and my mind is clear. I still have suicidal ideations and nightmares but I’m a single mom and have chosen for today at least to write this post and give another option. I believe in mood stabilizers and other meds when combined with counseling. You have to put in the effort and tell your drs what is and isn’t working. I know my meds and have tried every combination and strength. Some didn’t work at all. Some made me […]
Life is nothing but a series of comic fuck ups and disappointments, its like its just waiting for you to want something before it screws you over, u make every step forward that you can, you get everything under controll and one thing just comes along and puts you back to square one. The one thing u want more than anything else is dangled infront of you but u don’t get it. U get to be close enough to breath in its scent but u cant touch it. U get to be right beside it but u might as well be a million miles away […]
I made it through the night,
Even though my ghosts were screaming at me and so was the baby.
Even though I listened to the voice inside rant and rave about all my flaws until sleep surrounded me.
Even though I cried until there was nothing left.
Even though my dreams brought misery instead of release.
Even though that knife sang to me a song of salvation.
Even though there was no one here to stop me if I’d tried.
Everything is getting so messed up. I’m just…. I feel unwell and sick and nervous and unsettled and unhappy and I can’t call anyone because no one is answering their phone and I feel lonely and I don’t feel good. :'(
I just said I could work an extra night next week, but on those nights I see my psychologist and I don’t like it when things don’t go in routine. My little girl side of me doesn’t like it and it’s upsetting. I usually get my mum to console me or make my decision for me she’s not answering her phones. She tells me “Call […]
I have no control of my thoughts.
Why do I feel this way. I know im not crazy.
I feel like I am, But I know im pretty normal because no one else even knows how im feeling right now.
Its like a hidden secret that im not trying to hide
I want help.
I don’t want this. I want to just leave for a while and take care of me. Lock me up if that’s what it takes. I cant do this anymore. I cant fight my own thoughts.
I don’t have the energy or the strength.
Im fighting a losing battle.