Tag:

Nothingness

Suicide and Reclamation

by Tina89 5/17/2012

written by Tina89

Suicide and Reclamation

Itâ€™s so cold and dark in this place
Iâ€™d cut myself open to show you
Our blood is the same
Water stings as it kisses cuts like my mothers lips
Something about submerging myself seemed to be like a baptism.
I remember when my pastor dipped me in the water.
I want to be clean again.
I want to tell you Iâ€™m sorryâ€¦for what I canâ€™t remember.
All I know is that I was wrong.
Alcohol burned so much I thought it killed what made me sick even those dirty sinful memories.
I want to be pure again.
I want to hold someone […]

5/17/2012 1 comment

So very tired of exsitence

by thoth2012 5/16/2012

written by thoth2012

Hi all, It is very sad that we are forced, I am forced to live in a world that kills all life so freely and they justify it in their minds as either a good thing or a needed evil. Our world Governments kill without pause. But If I want to Leave what I view as a painful and unjust life I am considered of ill mental health. I have been diagnosed with major depression for many years. I have been on many drugs, did therapy from 1991 to 1997, I am 55 yo. Gay and blah, blah , blah. I am looking for a […]

5/16/2012 0 comment

Outside Looking In ~2~

by november 5/16/2012

written by november

~as always no grammar. deal with it.~

Yesterday

i told the two people who i still consider my friends that we were not going to school that afternoon, we were skipping. as usual. we left at lunch and went to the supermarket near our highschool and i bought them some lunch.

i dont eat anymore- i am more skinny than the supermodels our society for some reason looks up to. i dont grow anymore either. i am fifteen but i am about as tall as an eleven or twelve year old. yesterday i ate no breakfast or lunch, and a few mouth-fulls of pasta. this wouldn’t hurt me […]

5/16/2012 0 comment

You could never.

by AaronHall 5/7/2012

written by AaronHall

Never thought I would be on a site like this. But you people would understand the most, or maybe not. You wouldn’t actually know what I go through, or much less what anyone else goes through. You have no idea of what goes on in people’s real thoughts, their real emotions, struggles, and actions. All you can really do is just read along and try to find a connection, a answer to whats ailing you, a hope that the person that wrote this would find a answer themselves, a answer that would cure the damages inflicted on you. But I’ll tell you this, they’re no […]

5/7/2012 5 comments

Another day of mindless pain

by Everlasting 4/29/2012

written by Everlasting

So another day has come and past, another pointless, meaningless empty feeling remains and all that is left is the cold embrace of an empty bed.

5 Suicide attempts, 2 last minute resuscitations in hospital, endless weeks in a psychiatric unit and each and every time come out feeling the same way and return to the same emptiness and nothingness that is my life. Medications make me feel numb, neither happy nor sad, just more of that feeling of nothingness, again. It is so ironic that ALL antidepressants just make you docile, slow, bored and unable to feel anything of meaning. I have decided that with […]

4/29/2012 3 comments

dammit i AM TRYING

by holdingOn 4/17/2012

written by holdingOn

I’m trying to make things right. fuck, i guess i didn’t realize working on a time limit makes things a helluva lot more difficult. Why is it that it’s never enough? why am I never enough? I can see my ‘friends’ going places, and doing things with their lives, but when I think of myself all I can think of is the nothingness inside of me (yes I stole that from Linkin Park), I can’t see myself going to college or getting a job, or being a ‘contributing member of society. I am stuck. and I just what to end it all.

Fuck. The nights and […]

4/17/2012 5 comments

Today

by ronda 4/6/2012

written by ronda

Suicide has been very much on my mind for a long time. For as long as I remember, the thought of putting an end to my life would come up whenever I experienced pain, confusion, unhappiness. Pouf! Jump off the window and put an end to all that! That urge to jump into the air remains with me. I do consider other ways of killing myself from time to time, sleeping pills, hanging…hanging particularly appeals to me despite the gruesome sight of someone hanging from a rope. I don’t think I will act on those feelings. I have a child for whom I am responsible. […]

4/6/2012 3 comments

Why did I have to be born?

by AbnormalPsyche 4/1/2012

written by AbnormalPsyche

Why couldn’t I have been a miscarried child, or an aborted child? Why couldn’t my mother have gotten her tubes tied? Why couldn’t I’d stop breathing after I was born?

I can’t even imagine how great things would’ve been had I not been born into this disgusting world. No pain, no sorrow, no nothin’….I couldve just been the nothingness that I deserved to be.

4/1/2012 4 comments

I Can’t Feel

by iamApathy 4/1/2012

written by iamApathy

I don’t know how, but I stopped feeling. At the time it seemed better than always being depressed and suicidal, just numb myself, make the pain go away. But it’s torture not feeling anything, I see people happy, i see people love, i see people depressed, and i want to hate them, but now i can’t even care. I lie in bed and i cant cry, just stare at the ceiling. I would kill myself, but whats the point? To go from nothing to nothingness. Everybody just sees the mask i put on so i dont freak anybody out but i dont even know why […]

4/1/2012 6 comments

Sleep Forever ‘Cause Life is Better That Way!

by Disappearing 3/31/2012

written by Disappearing

Someone for a short period of time brought my soul back from the deeps of nothingness and I was able to feel again. Isn’t that suppose to be a good thing? I hate it! I wish that person would have never touch my sleeping soul if only to throw it away! I just want to crawl back into the nothingness and feeling less. But the probably is it hurts just like last time to crawl back in the water. Just like it hurt to crawl out. Why did you bother?! You brought me more pain than joy! Can’t I just be left alone?! I had […]

3/31/2012 2 comments

amazement

by [SyKo]Nuclearanthrax 3/13/2012

written by [SyKo]Nuclearanthrax

I sit here in amazement as this beautiful world passes on by, just so slow, drifting along, like clouds floating through the sky. I’m seeing the future get created right in front of my eyes, I see so many brilliant people, doing such amazing things. Beautiful things, and everything is just too amazing. The beauty of what is going on is just to much for my undeserving eyes, i want to die, for the fact alone. Life is to amazing, and i’m here. I am undeserving of what has been bestowed on me, people everyday, every second want to die, and do, while i sit […]

3/13/2012 3 comments

dark

by LifelessStabber 3/1/2012

written by LifelessStabber

It feels as if there is no light in the distance, just pitch black darkness. I wake up feeling like a failure knowing that my parents keep thinking when am I going to do something with my life and just not hang around being a waste of space.there’s no better way I can put this knowing that it all feels true, to feel there’s no need for me to breath. *sigh* why is it that I still breathe, why is it that everyday I wake and feel the same way. Is that the purpose of my life to feel like a worthless piece of nothingness. […]

3/1/2012 2 comments

Why Is Life So Cruel

by Life Death 2/11/2012

written by Life Death

I am 11 years old and i know i am going to die, you can tryÂ to talk me out of it, hell if you make me find a reason to live then i won’t jump of the 17 floor roof terrace. You know what, i’m scared, terribly terribly scared. Do you know why, because after death there is nothing, nothing at all! Just a bleak empty nothingness, I hope there is something after death. I wish with all my heart that there is something after death, but sadly there is nothing. This is me, signing off, maybe someone will read this and care, hell, i […]

2/11/2012 9 comments

I Dont Want to Turn 33

by sunbird 1/16/2012

written by sunbird

My birthday is at the end of the week. I dont even want to make it. I am trying like hell to make it to my vacation in 2 months,and end it then,but this week is hard. My BF keeps leaving and spending all of his free time away from me.He refers to spending time with me as “sacrificing.” He now threatens to move away b/c he doesnt want to listen to me explaining how bad I feel,refering to the end anymore. I wonder if my vacation is worth it. Wouldnt it be easier to just end it and not have to face another birthday […]

1/16/2012 11 comments

I will die today…

by crewde 1/8/2012

written by crewde

Here i am, 2 and a half months after i fell back into a deep depression. I am young, tired and now ready to pass on to the certain nothingness. IÂ am to talk with the love of my life in a few hours. The very last time I believe I will hear herÂ pulchritudinous voice… I am a young male with OCD, It had lead to a deep depression several years prior. How you may ask, one word, certainty. I am absolutely absessed with certainty, while nothing in life is certain except death. I can only feel comfort when i am certain, my 2 year relationship […]

1/8/2012 6 comments

To Fade Away…

by Shelly 5/11/2011

written by Shelly

For me memories are like ghosts that haunt the perimeters of my conscious mind, often making me feel ill at ease when I donâ€™t even know why. The more upsetting memories are like demons that torment me from the depths of my unconscious mind, bringing up flashes of painful experiences when I’m least prepared for it and my defences are down. Both want to fill me with self doubt and self hatred and sap every ounce of confidence I once might have had, to leave me an utterly shattered and blithering wreck in the shambles that my life has become. And yet the more I […]

5/11/2011 8 comments

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