Is it bad that nowadays I find myself not caring about absolutely anything? I don’t have any drive or motivation in my life, and it seems sometimes like things which used to interest me, now cease to exist in my daily life whatsoever. This all began at the beginning of this year (I’m currently a Sophomore in high school). 15 year old me wanted to fit in, be accepted into a certain clique, hang out with new people, do well on my exams, study hard, and to generally just view the world from a whole new perspective for once in my life. Before this year, […]
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old me
a person. i used to be someone i liked and admired.not anymore. i m empty, i m a shell, i m a body on autopilot, i m a shadow of an old me. that kills me…i cannot go on without myself.there s no point to the misery, the agony,the pain, the craving for myself.i ve lost all that mattered.my dream consumed me and sometimes there s no other poison like a dream,and that poison killed me. also..there s no other drug to a person than another person…fact!
don t cry because i m gone, smile because i was here.
I hate my relationship I guess. I would not call it that. but being around him makes me hate my life. he wont leave. He lives with me because other wise he would be homeless. I cannot get a piece of mind. When I was homeless I still had to support him even though he was an ungrateful ass. I just want him gone I do not know what to do I feel like an emptied out shell. I want to die. I feel trapped in my own home. I have four jobs just so I do not have to be here with him. I […]
I’m incapable of love. I came to this realization after breaking off with the second love of my life. It’s a dissonance. How can I yearn so much for love, but be unable to love. The only person in my life that I could have learned to be unloving from is my mom. Growing up, my mom wasn’t bad. When we were very, very, very poor she still gave us the necessities of life. She took care of us the best she could. As a matter of fact, she did much better than her mother, who abandoned her and her siblings. So she actually grew […]
dtm is what we make befor we die ay one who has had a near deth or has died for sevrel secionds (welcome to the club of almost there) will have felt this i first tryed dmt when i tryed killing my self for the 6th time and didunt understand it till at a gig i tryed dtm knowing what it was dtm is the cem in your brine that carms you down to die with out dmt you would spass out on the floor like in a bad scary film so the question will it help you pull the trigger no it whont if your looking […]
Goodbye friends and people I may not know but I will be here if you need to speak just email me at melissawitch@hotmail.co.uk I will try my hardest to help you all out no matter what just give me that email and I will be here for you even if you want to rant at me I will listen to you and be here and any problems just tell me I know how depression is and loosing someone dearly to you but I must leave this site sorry to say I love this site and all the people on here the makers and the people […]
I ask myself this question more often then others.
Why am I fucked up like this?
Why did I change from the old me?
Why do I hate myself?
I can’t answer all those questions maybe not even one, but I do know that
I feel this way and I think this is how others view me because this is how I see myself.
The girl who fucks up, the broken one.
I’m not a person I’m an element of the universe.
I just so happened to be picked to live the life I lived cause I know nobody could live it as bad as I do.
I ask myself ‘Why’ because I know […]
I realize in two days from now.Its going to be as scary as hell for me.Carrying around a box cutter is going to be scary as hell.Even if you intend to only harm yourself.Authorities get involved and its not pretty cause cops dont know how to handle the mentally ill.They do that thing were they twist your arm behind your back.It hurts cause you think your arm might break off.
My hope is that i dont get shot cause there will probably be police since they dont know how to mind there own business.
The thing is i just cant please […]