I’ve been up all night thinking….is today the day? Tomorrow? Tuesday? …seconds keep turning into minutes that keep turning into hours that keep turning into days that keep turning into weeks that keep turning into months that keep turning into years….Life keeps going….Its unforgiving…you miss the bus you miss the bus there is no catching it….I keep lingering and festering like an open wound exposed to germs … I hate that the sun rises signaling the end of yesterday and the beginning of today….I fucking hate that today is the future that seemed so promising 5 years ago…I turn 22 next month on the 5th […]
I was just going through my old pictures when I stumbled across my pictures from 2009 summer pictures. I didn’t think anything of it until I found the pictures of my friends. We spent basically the whole summer together. It made my chest hurt, just seeing my smile and all of my friends together. We haven’t really been like that since our friend Andrew killed himself.
We had our little “gang.” four girls, four guys. There was me, Kelsey, Anna, Shiney(real name), Max, Henry, Andrew, and Toby.
We were always happy and having fun. Then, when Andrew killed himself last June, it was like a piece was […]
When i made this cut i was scared. I had just traded an ounce of weed for a brand new box cutter, a kid bought me from home depot. Stupid i know i could have got it myself but with your dad watching you every moment of the day it was kinda hard. I said it was for protection.. protection from my thoughts.. but he gave it to me. No other questions ask even knowing my history.
I went home a couple days past and then me and my parents got in a huge fight. With […]
first off let me start by stating that i dont believe in any sort of afterlife. i dont belive in god or heaven or hell. i dont believe in reincarnation. i believe that once we die we are just simply…gone.
anyway my boyfriend died a little over a year ago from heroin od. we used together but we had a falling out & he started shooting up which we never did. at around the one year mark (august) i felt like i had finally recovered and moved on from his passing but lately ive started shooting up and i chase that feeling constantly… that rush. […]
Things going better and worst at the same time… I solved some of my problems, but some of them seems won’t change for a long time… My brother lost all control and using psychological violence against me. Its so hard to handle. I do everything for the familly.. But he keeps saying i am nothing, stupid *****, dirty, dumb idiot and so on.. He even keep saying that when my friends hear.
So sad.. Once, he was an idol for me. Now, i want to delete him from my life totally. Good that mother is dead and […]
My ex-boyfriend committed suicide in 2010. I met my husband in 2011, and we got married a few months later. Everything was really great, and still is most of the time. A few months after we got married, he started getting really upset over my ex and his suicide. (He and I had 3 children together by the way.)   He gets REALLY, REALLY mad if he finds any old pictures of my kids dad… to the point of him ripping them up and throwing them away. He always asks me if I loved him, and if I miss him.
It is REALLY emotionally stressful.  Anytime he brings it up, […]