When i made this cut i was scared. I had just traded an ounce of weed for a brand new box cutter, a kid bought me from home depot. Stupid i know i could have got it myself but with your dad watching you every moment of the day it was kinda hard. I said it was for protection.. protection from my thoughts.. but he gave it to me. No other questions ask even knowing my history.
I went home a couple days past and then me and my parents got in a huge fight. With out even relising it i was slicing at my wrist. But then i cut to deep. I drop the box cutter adreniline racing throught me. I tried to breath but it was the first time i had ever gone this deep. My blood came out at a steady flow i put pressure. I wasnt aiming to die at this point.Â For once when i was cuttingÂ I felt OUT OF CONTROL!
I put pressure 5 mintues past i pulled the towel off to check my wrist i was still bleeding and the towl was soaked i layed down. Head pounding and my body cold i wraped a rubber band around my wrist with the towl on. I had no strength left in my hands to hold in on myself. I lay on the ground shaking, hoping my parents would wake up and find me. But they never did.. I woke up 3 in the morning laying in my blood. The rubber bands have done the trick after a while. I probally past out or fell asleep i dont know what happened first.
I cleaned my self by taking a shower then cleaned the floor, bandaging my arm. I went 3 weeks before i told my parents. This was cause it wasnt closing most of my cuts healed in 1-2 weeks. This one didnt heal for 5. After the doctors did a rock scrub to get all the dirt out of my cut they glued it shut.
When we got home my dad wanted to know what i had used to cut. I gave him a randomn pair of scissors.. and he DIDN’T question it.. HOW THE FUCK COULD I DO THAT WITH SCISSORS!
now 10 months later its a bright red scar. I keep my arms crossed to hide my hidous scars. I hate them.. and yet i still cut.
In my list of tools now i have
5 razors ( had 6 but my dad found one)
1 pair of scissors
1 box cutter
2 lighters ( ive never burned my self but i keep it incase cutting just doesnt work one night)
6 peices of glass ( from a glass i broke )
I also am always at the store buying a box of bandaids here. Gauze and other various things. Not to mention hand towels. Since i use them to help stop the bleeding. I cant wash them cause my parents would wonder so i just throw them away, and buy new ones. This is one of the storys i remember really well.. and i just thought i should share it.