I was only 6 years old when I was told I was to fat and my grandparents bribed me with $100 to lose 20 pounds… I did but little id I know this was just the beginning to my eating disorder…. Threw out schooling all the kids forced me to go on diets so I would look how they wanted and be like them so they did’t haft to been seen with ugly old me… After a while my parents joined into the torment… for as long as I can remeber I binged my problems away.. around grade 4 I started starving myself to be […]
Tag:
Old School
My dad is getting married soon. He wants me to call his fiancée my mother. I can’t do that! It wouldn’t feel right, and she’s not. I like her, don’t get me wrong. Her psychotic Husband who she ran away from because of abuse is making up shit stories to make her feel guilty and get under her skin. She needs to press charges and get custody papers over the kids before he can but she’s not doing anything. I’m stuck in the middle too, in everyone’s way. No one knows what to do with me. My grandparents don’t want me home alone even with […]
born may 27 1962
its been a long road in life and it never gets easy .. all the drugs in the world are never enough to fill the dead hole where my soul goes.. never owned a car or had a family or a house.. my dad died in the war and my mom never came home one day
.. no brothers or sisters to help out .. i would have died then if it wasnt for an old school mate of mine sneakin food out for me everyday.. i knew i couldnt take his food forever so i decided to up and leave to San […]
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. There are no more times I could laugh for real. Everything’s just fake. It sucks. I once had friends who I trusted in my old school, but then I transferred to a new school and realized they weren’t the friends they said they were. Now, In my new school, I do have friends. Friends that are only for the good times. I don’t know who to trust anymore. Sure there are times when I tell other people my problems but those problems are the problems that even I know I could bear with. But what […]
Once again, i find myself feeling depressed. I thought I might list down my probles here:
Everyone I ever meet instanly calls me gay, sometimes even before I’ve said a word to them.
My parents often make out like im the worst child they could ever have, which I dont think I am.
I have no friends at my new school, and my good friends from my old school are replacing me.
So there you have it. Like I said in my first post, i really feel like im just Gods trash. I feel like an accident, a mistake. There is absolutely nothing good about […]
R.I.P
I feel so sorry for her.She made ONE mistake that ruined her life.
She was on webcam to new people to make more friends and to chat.And a group called her stunning pretty ect.Then asked her to flash she thought nothing of it and did it.The into the christmas break she got a msg saying “show me or i send your boobs” she ingored it then at 4am the police knocked on the door because that man sent the picture to everyone.She was hated so bad she had to move school.And again in one school she thought a boy liked her and they […]
i shouldnt feel this way. i got rid of all those feelings when i left my old school. i have new friends, a new identity, a new school and a fresh start.  then why do i still feel like this. I just float through life everyday, a lifeless burden to myself.  I hate everything that i am, i hate everything that i do, have done and probably will do. i walk around school with this label “smiler” because im always smiling!
“hey smiler!” “right smiler!” dont they know its all a cover? a front if you will? Im alone, scared, cutting and dying inside. I respect myself […]
My name is Elizabeth. I am 14 years old, and I’ve wished for death for a couple of years, and I’m certain it is the only thing I’ll be able to succeed in this life; I’ve tried not to think about it, but it always comes back. In moments when I’m lonely and when it’s silent, I’ll think of death and how to achieve it. I wish I was normal, that I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could have changed the way my mind works, and how it always tells me to ruin things. I’ve lied to everyone I’ve talked to, I’ve insulted […]
Sorry for my bad English, I’m Dutch/French (I’m a 18 years old, school dropout). I hope this all makes somewhat sense…
I was seen as a child prodigy when I was child (learned myself read at a young age and I went directly to second year of primary school), but everything went bad in secundary school. I feel totally useless. I have nothing to live for. The expectations that society has, the expectations I have of myself. The reality that doesn’t fit the expectations. My apathy towards humans, towards my family. I have no friends, I never needed friends, neither have I desired to have friends. I […]
This year and last year have been hard.
I found out a couple of  horrible things about my birth parents and family.
I’ve spiraled down ever since that and I’ve relapsed with cutting.
I’m extremely insecure and I hardly ever go out in public except for school.
I’m a shy, secretive person.
It’s hard for me to stick up for myself.
I let people take advantage of my kindness.
I hate how unassertive I am.
I bottle up my feelings because I can’t express them to people.
I’m ashamed of my scars.
I believe I’m too emotional at times.
I’m constantly down on myself because it’s normal for me.
At my old school I was on the swim […]
so where should i start im only 13 i know young everyone says that i am weird. Theres two or three girls especially they make fun of me they put their hands over their mouths say stuff while their looking at me and then laugh they make fun of everything i do and then they make fun of me for having friends in different grades. My parents are divorced ever since i was two they think i am fine with it but im not i cry when im alone. The girls think they are so nice and definitly not bullies they would deny it 24 […]
My mood lately has been up and down. But I came to a breakthrough. I don’t want to kill myself anymore (unless I’m feeling real down then the thoughts come back) but overall I don’t. I realize I’m going to die one day anyways so I’ll deal with all the crap til I do. Cause 80 years really isn’t that long (if i’m that lucky).
I still feel like shit, try not to think about what a failure I am but it’s very apparent in my life so not thinking about it or being aware is hard to do.
Momz is irritating once again trying to intervene […]