You just don’t fit? Like everything has just come together wrong and you somehow stopped being right in your own life (if you ever even were) and there’s just no place for you? Like maybe you just came off the assembly line broken? I’m feeling that way tonight (or actually this morning because I’ve spent five hours sitting here contemplating this). Wrong choices, wrong people, wrong planet maybe. I feel like I just don’t fit anywhere, like I never have been “right”, something was wrong from the get-go. It’s been a long time since I have been this low, since I have sat back and […]
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I don’t even know why I’m writing this. It’s my mind loop. These thoughts just run over and over again every day. I’m alone. I’m so alone. I have no one I can really talk to, and the people I do talk to I do because I don’t want anyone to suspect anything’s wrong. I stopped contact with all of my friends in September, so they didn’t have to deal with me anymore. Every day, I see all of them having the perfect life, and I want to go talk to them SO BADLY, but then I remember, they’re only having that perfect life because […]
I was hospitalized twice last year for suicidal actions and gave up on the notion of taking my own life. Since then I graduated college and moved to a big city. The problem is that my degree has only been an expensive piece of paper hanging on my wall and I feel lost. My depression keeps me tired, so i drink to fall asleep. My anxiety keeps me on edge about finding a perfect job to build a life I don’t think i’d like so at the end of the day I can curl up with a woman that doesn’t exist.
Each day is a […]
Hey guys I decided I would just share my story before coming to a final close. I am a nineteen year old male living in Austin who has become disgustingly depressed. I grew up what you would call a “perfect child,” as school work became my entire life. My parents are high class, high expectation type of people who get on my ass about every little negative detail about me. I feel like I have grown up a robot, and now I am waking up to see how tragic my life is like. I have been to wilderness program and a therapeutic boardinig school just […]
Withought going through all the details, my life has been really hard. and it never seems to get
any easier. Last year I had a bad car accident and was all messed up and had surgery and had to move
in with family. Now I feel like a burden and no matter how much I try to help others I never seem to
be appreciated. Now for me I do have some good things on the horizon. Possible opportunties that could
help me out in life. But Im gettting close to break point. And I have aquired a way to make an end for myself
so I have that handy […]
Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]
I guess it all started when I was a little kid. My parents fighting all the time and me being present when they did, it made me feel kind of sad, why did they fight? Was it because of me? And the answer was yes, or at least to me it was and it still is. I don’t blame them though, because that’s how they dealt with their problem (me) and now I deal mine with self-harm.
First time I cut was when I as about 11 years old and I did it because my dad had been yelling at me for a lot of things. […]
So where to start-almost 60 yrs old, would be considered successful by most, I guess. But I feel it’s all a lie. I’m not as good as people think I am at my job- if I do something praiseworthy it’s more by accident than skill. Most of my life has been like that. I’m really not that good at anything! I have a family, very proud of my son, but I think everyone else in the family just looks at me as a paycheck. Every day I stress about letting them down somehow, or disappointing them, which according to my wife I do on regular […]
I’m so tired of living (more precisely breathing). I wish I was tired of posting the same old repetitive story about my frustration, guilt and unsuccessful attempts of redemption too. But this is the only thing I can do, sit in front of a laptop and write about how miserable I am and how much that I hate myself. One prime reason that my guilt has amplified is because I could have avoided that.I used to be on the other side, the brighter side. I should have/ could have tried a little harder to change things for good but my attempts failed miserably for the […]
I hate the feeling of not knowing how to do something or not getting things right away, it makes me feel obviously dumb as hell and incompetent. Final exams are coming up and being “stressed” is a damn understatement.. Maintaining my grades and not disappointing my parents.. I usually only write about how fast my emotions change but I’ve been feeling quite stagnant. Its weird to not have ‘episodes’ but hell its a fucking relief. Sorry this isn’t too cohesive I just wanted to write something here. And is anyone good at chemistry and is willing to help me? The teacher is 70 something damn years old […]
well, folks, made it one more day.went to appointments with whitecoats. they actually let me leave. i was pretty amazed. dont know what kind, if any, help they will be,but hey, a little effort is better than none right? i dont trust these people,and old bad memories are evrywhere. i would prefer a more holistic approach, as that path has proved the most successful FOR ME, the physical effects of this past crisis still abound. weak, tired, feel like i have been hit in chest with sledgehammer,cant breathe, thoughts slow and sluggish, but that nagging desire to end it has finally subsided. once again. for […]
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world.” Is there really no hope for me anymore?
by niki
written by niki
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & […]
I wish I could go back 11 years a go and be 5 years old again. I use just to play and not have any problems and in that time if I cries the reason will be my doll is broken or I was playing and I fall down even school we use to learn how to color and cut a picture and all our friends in 5 years old were the true because they were still young and they are not wild. we use to be scared of darkness and monsters but when we grew up when you there are many things that […]
I’m a 15 year old female and I can’t do this anymore. I’ve destroyed everyone’s life. I’ve bullied others and I’ve done selfish and terrible things. I hate who I am. I don’t wish to live on this earth any longer. My family has been torn apart recently and I can’t take anymore of who I am or the twisted ness of where I came from. I’m going to kill myself. I feel like there is nothing left.
Few things about me. My name is Kiriakos. i am 32 years old. I am from Greece. I have to say that i have been diagnosed with Depression symptoms.
I am a very sensitive guy and probably overprotected by my family from my early years. I have friends but as from a gf i was very lonely since my early years. I was bullied mostly mentally at school every single day, i had problems my family to understand me and during the age of 16 had agoraphobia (i manage to pass it alone after 3 years). i was ugly as a young child and this let […]
I use to be a funny girl who loves to live and enjoy everything in life and to try new things but due to a love relationship , every thing had changed … I tried to suicide but I didn’t die and I’m thinking to suicide again because I feel too much pressure on me and no one can understand me . I know this my effect my parents but I can’t stay like this dying every day. I am crying every day since 3 months in my room … but I smile in front of my friends and family because I don’t like […]
My step dad is a drug addict, and yesterday he said he was quiting and then today he has the nerve to come to me and ask for my pills, it’s like if i dont give them to him hes gonna hate me but if i do then i hate me i just want him to get better or get out it’s not fair that i have to live with him let alone my 2 year old sister i mean just fix yourself or leave my house.
Dear mind,
Dear mind, why do you present me with the same old questions I can never find an answer for ?…
Dear mind, why do you continuously spin and make me feel like this room of silence is a room full of sin?
Dear mind, why do you continue to play these scenes and make me hear all these foul things?
Dear mind, please let me escape just this one night, so maybe I can find some sort of fight??
I deleted my old post because well it was just another cry for help answered by the very reason I despise my life.
Honestly, would any of you converse with other humans if you were in my situation? Everywhere you go there’s people on phones or in person (wherever I go) having fake conversations just to get a reaction or to harass me. Fake conversations. Such as the ones going on in my last post that I deleted. It drains the life of me. It’s so ridiculous. The relationship between me and my family is truly lost forever. I’ve never been closer to telling them all […]
I don’t know what I’m doing. People always say “there is reason for living, there is reason to stay alive” but I don’t see that. What’s my reason? My 3 best friends of 3.5 years that stopped talking to me two days before my birthday? My dad that left when I was two weeks old?
A friend of mine once said to me (before his girlfriend blocked me on his account) “You can’t say no one else has any reason for living.” but what I was trying to say to him was, why are any of us alive? What is the point of life? We aren’t […]