Tag:

old

Overtaken again

by nozmoking 9/13/2014

written by nozmoking

Everything has caught up to me again and I am once again obsessed with putting a bullet in my brain. I should have seen it coming – I’ve let things build up. Old ghosts, a recent death of someone once more important to me than life itself, old pain and new pain. The shit has piled up on me and I am suffocating.

I should know better. I should deal with things as they come. But I just can’t. I don’t have that much control over my own life. I am such a useless piece of crap to myself and to everyone around me. It doesn’t […]

9/13/2014 3 comments

Looking for a way out

by hangseok123 9/12/2014

written by hangseok123

Hey I’m a 19 year old male looking for a suicide partner for a suicide pact. If you are interested email me for details. Email me at alexlee94@outlook.com

9/12/2014 3 comments

A letter from me to… YOU (you know yourself)

by somebodytoknow 9/12/2014

written by somebodytoknow

So, I don’t know from where to begin. I can’t bear the pain in my chest. I don’t know how much of this I can take before I end up in an asylum. I’m losing it, my mind..

It’s been always this way. Nothing I can do to make you stop. I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried and I… tried. Yet, nothing seems to be working. No matter how hard I try, I’ll never impress you. I’ve been strong but.. but really how much of this pain I can handle? I wonder.

I.. who have been always the good girl. Done everything you’ve asked but […]

9/12/2014 1 comment

lormetazepam and coal?

by Kevin Andres 9/12/2014

written by Kevin Andres

Hello. I have just signed up here so first of all, a big hello to you all and thanx for reading this message. I have been contemplating ending all of this for a while as i just cant hack life anymore. I have been diagnozed with bi-polar disorder and left my wife last year in a mania phase. I recently tried to patch things up with her but am not sure if its gonna work or not and to be honest if it doesnt i dont know what i would do. I have a 6 year old son yet i believe he will be better […]

9/12/2014 2 comments

Happiness. :^)

by Holo44 9/12/2014

written by Holo44

It’s a smile, a laugh, an ejaculation. Whatever it may be for you, the combination of neurotransmitters causing it will return to baseline and you will be sober, normal again, slowly but surely and without fail. The only rational way to preserve your sanity is to be 100% content with normal, sober existence which is unspeakably difficult for innumerable reasons that are beyond our control a huge majority of the time. You’re not 5 years old, I’m not going to go into why.

My innermost desire is to be at the very peak of pure, unadulterated happiness a human can experience and get beheaded right then. […]

9/12/2014 20 comments

Limbo/ Culmination

by tai 9/10/2014

written by tai

I’m in that space right now where I can’t tell if I’m depressed because of the meds (Xanax and Prozac) or depressed because of me. I felt so blank on the way home it was hard to keep myself from just driving off the highway. I feel confused, and tired of being confused, and apathetic to the act of breathing. It’s so strange…. Yet again, I’m not sad, I’m not mad, I just feel like I could wink out of existence at any moment. Like, just slip into death. I’m already 27, aren’t I too old for this sort of melodrama?

I love to see beauty, […]

9/10/2014 3 comments

Tonight I had fun for a change.

by Recluse 9/8/2014

written by Recluse

One of my old mates that I have been fighting with came around to my house tonight and asked if I wanted to go hunting so I said yes and we went and killed some pigs and stuff with the dogs I had heaps of fun but my legs are sore because we have been running up hills all night it is 4:24am atm I’m so tired time for bed I think goodnight everybody.

In Australia hunting is a big thing and I have been brought up doing it my whole life so it’s kinda like my get away from sitting at home being sad 24-7

9/8/2014 4 comments

gee i don’t know anymore

by notsurehey 9/8/2014

written by notsurehey

I can barely talk to you…
I can’t even say a word to you…
If I were to commit suicide.. you would be the main reason why I no longer want to be on this earth… open mother daughter relationship? Lol yeah totally.. we can’t even talk about the weather.. I hate u… your a *****.. thank you that I’m able to talk to u about being so depressed.. oh wait… I can’t.. because it’s “just a phase”.. a phase that’s been going on for a while.. thank you mom.. I love life so much.. I’m not sad.. I’m so hard working.. I’m gna be […]

9/8/2014 4 comments

What if I’m a bad mom?

by girlwiththetrinketbox 9/7/2014

written by girlwiththetrinketbox

I’m only 18. I shouldn’t be so worried about this. Why can’t I stop thinking about this? I’m so afraid that I’ll mess up when I do have a kid. I’m afraid that I’ll neglect it. I’m afraid I’ll care more about myself than I do my child. I’m afraid that my child will love its babysitter more than it’s mother. I’m afraid I’ll lead the child down a path it was never meant for. I’m afraid I won’t be the mother I could or should be. But it’s more than that. I’m afraid I won’t be able to have a child. I’m afraid I’m […]

9/7/2014 1 comment

Suicide: A Failure of Imagination?

by seppuku 9/6/2014

written by seppuku

When we run out of vision, we’re running on empty and the need to stop the pain becomes paramount.

Maybe in a fit of homicidal anger we can fly in the face of the body’s hardwired DNA to preserve its life.

But the challenge of life is to move into the higher dimension in this same body. Is it do-able? As a fully paid-up, card-carrying manic depressive I can only nod dumbly.

I’ve seen my body change numerous times, morphing into all kinds of different shapes. Currently my ‘look’ is ’52 year old post-menopausal woman who has let herself go’. Yet this is not ‘me’. It’s a disguise […]

9/6/2014 11 comments

how can anyone escape from thoughts of suicide? I had suicide attempts and thought since i was eight years old both side of my family had someone who killed themselves. I feel like I am trapped and the only way to be free is to let go.

by viviqueen07 9/5/2014

written by viviqueen07

9/5/2014 3 comments

by HereticBlood 9/4/2014

written by HereticBlood

Dear mind,

Dear mind, why do you present me with the same old questions I can never find an answer for ?…

Dear mind, why do you continuously spin and make me feel like this room of silence is a room full of sin?

Dear mind, why do you continue to play these scenes and make me hear all these foul things?

Dear mind, please let me escape just this one night, so maybe I can find some sort of fight??

****found the [edit] button sorry

9/4/2014 7 comments

What do I do with my dog?

by Casey123 9/4/2014

written by Casey123

OK I GIVE. Everyone jumped on me about my dog, so I will stay alive until she dies. Should only be a few more years. I can’t stand the thought of someone else having her.

9/4/2014 8 comments

Can never find the right spot.

by Sigh123 9/3/2014

written by Sigh123

It’s 4.25am and I’ve just came home from an hour long walk, the truth is I was looking to commit suicide tonight and my chosen method was to jump off a high ledge and land in the sea, dying of either shock, head injuiry, drowning or hypothermia or a combination of them all. I live in a seaside town so I thought this would be a very easy thing to accomplish but the highest point in the town where it would be possible to die is fenced off with barb wire. I spent a while looking for a lot of other spots but no where […]

9/3/2014 6 comments

I’m old, sick, and alone. WTF are all these kids doing here?

by Casey123 9/2/2014

written by Casey123

I’m old, sick, and alone and I’m going to do it very soon because I found out that I happen to have the right combination of pills to take with alcohol. I’ve had a hard life but all you kids who are thinking of doing it need to realize that you will go through life and have hard times and good times. Things do get better until you are old, sick, and alone. That’s when you have the moral right to do away with yourself! I’ve been homeless in my 50s and still didn’t do it then. My ex husband tried to get me to […]

9/2/2014 10 comments

For those of you who were moved by the plight of orphaner-coolscar… don’t be.

by Frank Einstein 8/31/2014

written by Frank Einstein

The 13 Year Old Girls Who Cried “suicide”

On this thread about 13 year old girls who cry wolf about suicide, a couple of links were posted by Koji about a former member of this site – a 15 year old girl who supposedly killed herself at the beginning of this year – eloquently describing why we should never judge what’s going on in the minds of some of the teenage attention whores who post on this website trying to solicit sympathy.

The links show the moving final post of orphaner-coolscar as she described her last night and suicide method in detail, followed by a heartfelt […]

8/31/2014 53 comments

What is the way out?

by istherehope 8/31/2014

written by istherehope

I left my husband for love. We had been together almost a decade and he provided me a nice home and new cars, anything I needed and worked hard to do so. We had a two year old son when I left for another man. This man was charming and loving, came home every night and seemed to put me first. I guess I deserve the nightmare of marriage we’ve had for the last 5 years. He’s left me three times, twice at Christmas for two weeks and another time for two months because he was arrested for hitting me. He broke the no contact […]

8/31/2014 1 comment

Mirror Mirror

by Scarlett Dawn 8/30/2014

written by Scarlett Dawn

Mirror mirror on the wall
Please tell me who I’m looking for
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why do you allow my reflection let me fall

Mirror mirror on the wall
I cannot tell how old or young I am anymore
Mirror mirror on the wall
Your making me sad when I see you evermore

I cannot look in mirrors any longer
With mirrors around there’s no hope of me getting stronger
I delude myself but covering the truth when I look in them
With the help of lies that substances bring whence in my system

Though I am always stuck; are mirrors the illusions?
Or is […]

8/30/2014 2 comments

my birth day is today

by suicidal girl 8/29/2014

written by suicidal girl

today is my birthday i’m 19 years old ; i don’t have friends just on fb

i’m always thinking of killing my self , i tried a lot i hung my self , i cut my arm there was lot of blood in my clouthes ,my face was coverd by tears i was waiting the moment to die but i didn’t 🙁 i still alive

this is so bad

i wanna die i hate my self ,,,, i’m not sleeping , i don’t eat any thing and i don’t talk a lot ,,,,

i’m upset because i feel weak i can’t even kill my self :'(

8/29/2014 21 comments

bad day

by paingoaway 8/27/2014

written by paingoaway

been a while since i been here. hope everyone is doing ok, or at least staying alive. I hate having suicidal thoughts…but here they are tonight, first time in a while. im quite lonley, and i need a better job, or my gf might leave me. I already only have one friend. crap, im scared of being homeless,in jail, or dead. maybe as a 29 year old black male without a good job (although very educated) i have just seen all the good i will ever see in life? maybe…i should just take the easy way out. i hope this mood passes quickly.

8/27/2014 13 comments

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