I posted here in May that I had a plan but couldn’t find a way to make everything happen, and it was frustrating beyond words. Shortly after that my on again/off again partner came back into my life and while the constant feeling of not wanting to be here was still there, it was dialed down a bit. He told me a few weeks ago that he is moving to another state to reunite with his wife (he’s been separated for two years), so things got dialed right back up. I got lucky, though, and found a doable plan that has little chance of failing […]
Tag:
old
Soot filled lungs and fire in my veins.Exhale smoke and breathing in pain.The air is a curse, it keeps me alive. It could be worse, but I still wanna die. Institutionalized. Darkness clouded my eyes. I’m so sick of the same old lies. God please put the sun in the sky. Staccato bursts of pain and I cry. Little lines etched in my thigh. I keep whispering my beautiful lie, we keep saying our beautiful lie. I’m okay, yes, I’m just fine. I’m so sick of these same old lies.
Hello!! I’m bored and little sad. My girlfriend is in Costa Rica on vacation and cannot text. 🙁 anyway anybody wanna chat?? I LOVE helping people so text me! Even if you’re bored too and you want to talk. Anything is fine!! I’m a 16 year old male, my name is Matt. 🙂 my number 19494846924
I guess it’s a bit different. People can get along. But will I ever do the same?
What makes one sane? A bunch of standardised tests for differentiated individuals?
Disorganised and depressed thoughts for the last 4 years. And I’m not even 18.
Maybe I just had a rough day. But, I’ll never be able to talk to y’all the same way.
Sorry for wasting your time. I just felt the need to turn to someone/something. Cause I have a bad tendency to turn to self abuse when I feel low or disappointed or mad at myself.
March, August first.
Another block.
If by chance, by tomorrow night.
I thought, now all that is left.
To the death.
Rendered in shredder.
There are no souls on the black side.
Like the bat, face your fears.
No matter, I will go.
From underneath.
Drag my own chain.
Rubble, run away to zero.
The table and the plant, welcomes.
From the ground, the old man says.
There’s yellow-***.
Tourbillion, the air disperse.
I was never there, my life never existed.
The forever melancholy.
To destroy “Babylon.”
Grace of death; resurrect.
Welcome to the funk.
A love
I wish I could handle well so that my smile could be real
I am sorry but I want to have a contract which lasts forever
If you are the one, if you were the one
This tablet does not do to me at all today
I will take one more to see if everything changes
If you were the one
Attention please attention pleaaaaaassszzzu
You know that, you know who I love
My mask is not old, I can still use it
Everything is for you
Is anyone out there in the same boat as me?
26 years old
I’m unemployed now for about 1.5 years
I can’t afford the repayments on my unit
I’m fat
I’m ugly
I’ve not a cent to my name
Oh, yes, and I don’t have a drivers licence
I’d just like to know if there is anyone going through the same thing. I guess it feels good to know you are not alone. I don’t know.
She’s proud of herself but she won’t tell you why
It has now been a month since she’s last even tried.
The voices won’t stop but today she’s won
She put down her razor and put down her gun.
After hours of thinking silently to herself
She goes and picks up her old friend off the shelf.
Overwhelmed with emotions she picks up her blades
and disposed of the evil that would send her to the grave.
So for the first time in awhile her lips crack a smile
It won’t be easy but in the […]
I think that I am feeling better. Or am I? I am so used to telling psychologists about my life, but I haven’t really listened to my own words. Could this actually be my reality? Seems like a weird and sad movie, really. I’m going to try to keep this short. EDIT: Turned out to be longer than expected…
I’ve had OCD for like forever, which probably is harder than I realize. I lost my best friend when I was 8 years old when a tsunami hit Thailand, my father has been drinking way too much for as long as I can remember, my mother has […]
Being Alone In Bliss
You know the first thing i thought of when i held the household cleaner. Drink It. End it now. Finish it off. The first thing i thought of when i opened the cabinet above the sink, grab a razor; end it. I want to die so bad all i do is fuck things up. All i do is cause trouble and pain. Idk if anyone knows how i’m feeling right now. I want to leave my body. I want no use of my soul. I want to be dead. I’m in my closet crying alone. No one knows […]
I have worked my stinky little self hard trying to “make it.” Now, I can’t take it anymore. I’m too old. late thirties. The ridicule I get everywhere I go. And I am female so men make sure I know how they feel about nasty women. I am infamous. I smell bad no matter what I do. (Yes, I shower. No I don’t have BV, VD, etc. No one gets close enough to pass me those gifts.) I thought it would go away one day via diet, doctors, etc. Nothing has helped. After 20 years, since puberty, I give up that dream.
I have learned to accept the constant […]
Hello, I am new to this site, I am 23 years old and I have been thinking about suicide since I was a teenager, I did not really have a difficult childhood or family life, I just fail to see the meaning in living, I am not really depressed about not achieving something, fitting in or getting acceptance from anyone, I just seem to not find any meaning to anything this universe has to offer, whether god, religion, humanity or what ever else, it seems like the human will to live is connected to all the lies we tell ourselves or the lies we are […]
I’m not really sure what I’m going to say in this. I apologize if I waste anyone’s time. I guess I’ll share my life story. I’m desperate at this point. My mother and father got divorced when I was 3 years old ( currently 17). She then married this man names Nathan. At first everything was ok. But it wasn’t… It started off with little things like if I spilled milk from my cereal he would hit me. But it escalated. He raped my sister, and would hit me and torture us all the time. Threatening to kill us if we said anything. My mother […]
I felt the need to post this…
I lost my seventeen year old daughter to suicide on May 31. She hung herself in our garage. This has devastated our family and all of her friends. We miss her so much. I know many of you feel so helpless and so sad. But please consider the pain that you will cause others by taking your own life. You are more important to your loved ones that you could ever know. Please know that they love you and will miss you dearly. Now that I no longer have my beautiful daughter in my life, I have lost my […]
My Father Was Ex-Commander In Chief In The Army.That Mustve Messed Him Up Becoz That Man Was Anything But Normal!I Couldnt Call Him”daddy”Or”my father”Becoz He Wudnt Allow It.Made Me Call Him”sir”Or”Mr(Last Name)”.He Treated Me Like I Was One Of His Army Groups Or Whatever.This One Time,My Mom Was Working Night Shift So It Was His Turn To Come Fetch Me From School.He Came Hours Later!He Found Me Crying Cold,Hungry And Alone,Said Some Shit Like I shouldve Walked If I Wanted To Get Home Earlier(I WAS 8YEARS OLD!!).My Dad Wasnt The Emotional”come give me a hug”Type.He Was A STONE,Or Anything Harder Than That..Tar..He Was Tar..Concrete!He Would […]
I moved out to Corona, California in June of 2013, and bout two months into moving to the new city I still felt new to the city and developed a sadness for being a way from my old friends. I am a 16 year old guy and I’m not much of a social person. I pretty much stuck with the same friends I had living in my old town. But back then I was more social and interactive with my friends, I actually did things outside of school and home with my friends. The last time I had a girlfriend was 2012. But now living […]
People with a psychotic disorder such as bipolar or schizophrenia are 12 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population. Up to half of people with manic depression (hey that’s me yo) attempt suicide at least once in their lives. 10-15% of manic depressives will end up killing themselves. That’s even more than those with schizophrenia (10%).
I have a pretty severe case of bipolar 1. I’ve had more than thirty episodes of psychosis which ended in forced hospitalizations. I have never attempted though. I don’t want to ever attempt (who does?). If I am to go this route |I want to be successful […]
Hi.
This is my first post. I should probably introduce myself.
I am a 21 year old girl living in New Zealand. I first began to notice a dip in my mood when I was 12-13 but understandably at that age I couldn’t quite get what the feelings were a symptom of. I constantly hit what I thought was rock bottom only to find myself continuing to slide down. I spend years battling it, as well as an accompanying eating disorder, and finally recovered fully in 2013.
I decided to leave home in order to continue my recovery journey. I have been living on my own for the […]
Honestly I’m wishing I didn’t have a reason to be on here… but I do. Im a 20 year old college graduate, but I can’t get a job in my field to save my life…. you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard. I work at a grocery store stocking shelves…. I didn’t go into debt for this. Not to mention these people make me question the ounce of sanity that I have left. I haven’t touched a blade to my skin in 9 months. That’s saying something. Of course I get my share of bruises and burns from work but its not the same. I […]
So this man posted his hospital bill on Reddit as an example of our flawed healthcare system and apparently, his situation is not completely unheard of. As a 20 year old who is contemplating bankruptcy because I owe 26,000 to a hospital when I was made to retract my 72hr notice several times and kept in conditions that violated my patient rights but was explained to me that I was basically less then human and had no rights several times so apparently that made the treatment ok. It’s funny because the first time I tried to off myself I was just sick of living in this […]