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others

written in january

by khajiit 4/10/2014

written by khajiit

Striving Towards Nothing

Why this passion or despair?
Why hangs anguish in the air?
This endless striving toward the end
Suggests that ruin does impend.

Restless monsters sigh and speak
As I awake while others sleep,
Besieged by phantoms from a dream
And haunted by their shriek and scream.

I stand amid a tempests cry
Its rage and wind its last goodbye.
Wishing me with contrite mutters:
Beware the words and acts of others.

These dreamers lie dispassionate.
Is disregard an accident?
I shake their hollow shells awake,
But alas this is their chosen fate.

Why is life composed of loss?
And why must […]

4/10/2014 3 comments

Back at it again

by goingnumb 4/9/2014

written by goingnumb

I’m heading down a destructive path I don’t care anymore Im jut kinda done with it. I’m ignoring how I feel it builds up and I freak out have breakdowns and panic attacks. I’m not functioning right. Im to busy helping others trying to make ten happy and worrying about them that I don’t even help myself or even try to. I don’t know what to do I don’t think I want to get help anymore I’m just kinda here.

4/9/2014 0 comment

Is It Wrong?

by incompetence 4/8/2014

written by incompetence

Is it wrong to kill yourself if you truly believe it will make other lives happier? Or is that still considered selfish? Because I want to help others, not myself.

4/8/2014 2 comments

He

by Shadowknite 4/7/2014

written by Shadowknite

When he found out I was cutting, he tried not to help the urge. Then he used it as a threat. He then got scared if others found out. Now he’s back to yelling, pushing me to cut or commit. I wish I could. The worst I can so is cut. I can’t commit. I am able too. I do not fear Death. But milady said to not disappear. So, I will pursue some hope in this pit of Hell.

4/7/2014 2 comments

Do Not Know What To Do

by incompetence 4/7/2014

written by incompetence

Every night I cry because of the disappointment I cause. The burden I put on others, the loathing I direct at myself, It only leads to a life of sadness and despair. I’ve made my brother a monster, I made my father believe that I am just another mistake, and worst of all, I made my own mother cry because of my failures, and she believes it’s her fault, when it’s really my own mistake. When they ask for help, I don’t even have the energy to respond. And now I believe that I can never fix it, so I believe suicide is the only […]

4/7/2014 5 comments

i just dont care

by LetItGo 4/6/2014

written by LetItGo

a lot of people say
that you cant
care about others
before you care
about yourself.
you have to care
about yourself
before you care
about others.
you have to take
care of yourself
before you take
care of others.
but i dont do that.
i dont care about
my life.
i dont care about
myself.
i just dont care.
i care about others.
about their lives.
their problems.
i help them,
bring them happiness.
but then im their
crumbling
breaking
cracking
more and more
each day.
i just dont care.

4/6/2014 1 comment

Acceptable Reasons

by Phil McLoven 4/6/2014

written by Phil McLoven

Who really has a good enough reason to commit suicide? Is one reason more acceptable than another? What if:

*your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife left you?

*you’re sad, depressed, or have some other mental illness?

*you feel trapped in a hopeless situation?

*you have a terminal illness? (although life itself is a terminal condition. You start dying the moment you’re born).

*you had bad coffee this morning?

Are any of these reasons more valid or “better”Â than any others? If someone you knew was in the exact same position that you’re in, would you suggest that they end their life?

I think that people have a tendency to get hung up on “reasons why”. What seems […]

4/6/2014 29 comments

â‰¡DECEPTIONâ‰¡

by StruggleOn 4/4/2014

written by StruggleOn

“Confidence is 10% hard work, and 90% delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want”

I was fed such fallacious bullshit. Â Fetch that medicine, but I’m done ingesting it like a puppet, kay?

What I aim to disclose, is all this ‘you can get anywhere with confidence’ is going to make me narcoleptic in due time. I’m pretty jaded already. Â What I perceived is, whether my effort is made with or without morale; it ultimately ends up the same. Â Abominable or indifferent. Â It’s just so invariable. Â A situation where effort is put forth with or without confidence is so analogous to […]

4/4/2014 8 comments

There are many girls here, right?

by ClairDeLune 4/3/2014

written by ClairDeLune

I tried messaging and approaching girls on dating sites in various ways and I have only failed so far. They either didn’t respond or we exchanged a couple of messages and then they didn’t respond. One even deleted her account after we messaged a few times -.-

Can you tell me what you would want to hear from a stranger if you were on a dating site? I mean, it doesn’t really matter what you write in those first few messages; meeting someone in person is way more important, that is when you really get to know each other and can decide whether you like the […]

4/3/2014 21 comments

Knowing

by stillhopeless 4/3/2014

written by stillhopeless

I have seen how suicide affects others, I know the pain left behind. I have seen people fall apart after a loved one takes their lives, I have seen it for myself.
I know that it’s a permanent fix to temporary problems. I know how selfish it seems. I know that even though my pain will be gone I will leave pain for others.
I know all of this yet it’s still all I can think about. How I will do it. When it would be the best time. Where. What I would say to everyone, how I would say it. What people would think.

4/3/2014 1 comment

Names

by Shadowknite 4/2/2014

written by Shadowknite

I have many names.

Shadowknite to you,

Earthknite to others,

No One, Nobody, Nothing to those say I will remember or stop them.

I am known as Jacob. That is my name. I am No One, and I will remember you.

4/2/2014 1 comment

I need to push them away… but I don’t want to at the same time…

by sleepxdeath 4/1/2014

written by sleepxdeath

Once again… I feel like pushing people away. Fought with myself a few times recently… I tend to forget, but when I do remember, its hell for me. I am terrified of that same feeling. Having others makes promises that I might actually break it. Just for there best. Just to protect them. I can’t do this anymore. I’m suffering even more. It feels like everything was just a waste of time. Like a pathetic dream that never occurred. But it did happen.

Everything good always dies. And I really despise that feeling.

4/1/2014 1 comment

Who cares? No one.

by maddieboo15 4/1/2014

written by maddieboo15

People know I am in pain but they don’t care to help me. They just pretend nothing is wrong. I feel invisible. Cutting seems the only way to ease the pain. Attempting it has been on my mind for years. My parents don’t give a damn about me. They don’t seem to care. I look out the window as we drove down the road and wondered what if that was me. On the side there they lay. Upon them they have others eating and nipping at them. I wish it was me laying on the side of the road. Wish they could change places with […]

4/1/2014 2 comments

Kinda Hypocritical.

by Shadowknite 4/1/2014

written by Shadowknite

Broken

You say you’re broken,
Unloved and unwanted.
You can’t be fixed,
And you are haunted.

What people say,
That is what cuts.
The words throw you off,
And you get stuck in the ruts.

Many say “I care”,
But few are sincere.
When you are broken,
U notice no one is here.

You wish yourself away,
Ready to give it a try.
U think u can’t stay,
That you need to die.

I reach out to you,
Saying sweet things,
I want to fix you,
I say that it stings.

I cut for others,
To get them to stop.
I am still clean,
Three years at top.

When I see someone unhappy,
It gives my heart great pain.
I want them to be happy,
And to smile again.

I will not stop,
I am […]

4/1/2014 0 comment

Being Water…

by clevername 3/30/2014

written by clevername

…when everyone wants a Mountain.

Being a Foggy Mist, when everyone wants a Flood.

Becoming a Flood, when everyone wants Sunshine.

Becoming Sunshine, when everyone wants The Night.

Becoming The Night, when everyone wants The Dream.

Striving to become The Dream, but becoming The Reality.

Realizing The Reality is made of the act of flowing through the stream of striving to appease ever changing requirements…

To become The Mountain no River could ever Be.

Everyone wanted a Mountain to Climb, but all i could ever do was Be Water, and flow down, to ultimately be absorbed into, and washed away by, The River of Deceit… and to eventually be deposited into the Sea, […]

3/30/2014 9 comments

Pain

by bah 3/29/2014

written by bah

How can one person feel so much pain? Â Why is it that others can be at peace, but some of us are afflicted with this never-ending turmoil? All I feel for all these decades is pain, so much pain. Â When will the pain and suffering end??

3/29/2014 2 comments

Time. To. Stop.

by StruggleOn 3/25/2014

written by StruggleOn

Somebody told me today to write three paragraphs about something that would make me want to stick around.

So here it is. Â And it might come as a surprise:

To stop being selfless. It’s the only thing that has even slight potential to want to make me live. I realized that I’ve always done things for others. I was always there for everybody else. I always worked to please others. I made sure to take anybodies problems on to my own shoulders when I could.

Then the thing I realized that’s killing me is . . . guilt. When I can’t make things go right for anybody I […]

3/25/2014 6 comments

Tired of being tired.

by silverlupas 3/25/2014

written by silverlupas

Im done. Im so ready to kill myself. I just want to go on a hike with my good friend 9mm and never return. My desire to die is stronger than my desire to live. Im not sure how I survived so long, maybe it was because Im living for others, but how long can that last? Eventually I have to to be selfish right? Im tired of being suicidal for the past 8 years, I don’t think it will ever get better.

3/25/2014 2 comments

Version

by Bipolar American 3/23/2014

written by Bipolar American

Since reading and responding to posts here I’ve noticed everyone fits into their own category of what depression means to them. While many have always been down with bullying, financial hardships, abuse or mental disorders, others have complicated combinations of all of it.

Personally, I’ve had a taste of plenty of the aforementioned issues. I’ve also been fortunate enough to bypass most of it for a long time. I had a great stretch of happiness (the most I’m capable of harnessing). Now I’m at the point of needing to rebuild and raising up from depths of the worst depression yet.

Knowing where I’ve been, what it […]

3/23/2014 2 comments

I’m Living For Others

by StruggleOn 3/21/2014

written by StruggleOn

Yeah, everybody calls that a cliche. Â Maybe you are not living for others. Â But I am, and that is all I’m doing.

Oh, and here is a fennec fox:

3/21/2014 37 comments

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