Tag:

pain

I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to..

by Yours, Forever and Always 8/1/2015

I’ve attempted suicide over ten times.

I’ve never been raped or lost someone close to me to death. I’ve never been homeless or starving. I’ve never run away or snuck out.

Instead, I’ve smoked and drank. I cut and I burn. I think about my death often.

I remember when my parents found out how suicidal I was. My mom laughed and then continued smoking and my step father joked about keeping me away from his tools. They never put me in a hospital, and only took me to therapy once.

They put me on a bunch of meds, […]

8/1/2015 11 comments

Just really need to talk to someone

by ZoeGotcher 7/30/2015

written by ZoeGotcher

I’ve been at my real dads since June 24 and I’m leaving August 3.

My mom has been verbally and mentally abusive for all of my life. She threatens to physically abuse me all the time. She led me to believe that my dad never cared about me and that he cheated on her with my stepmom.

That wasn’t the case nor did my dad ever do that. It’s got worse recently which is why I’m up here with my dad. I would call my stepmom everyday crying. My dad found out what she recently has done ( she was making others and friends believe I’m psychotic […]

7/30/2015 6 comments

Cruel Consciousness

by Kyle RB 7/29/2015

written by Kyle RB

“Finally you are about to make it. Your life is in your hands and you’re decided to put an ending on it right now. But for some reason you don’t do it. You wait. You say to yourself repeatedly that that moment of despair will pass, and it does. You lied to yourself again. That moment where you were about to stop your suffering is gone. But you know you didn’t overcome it, you just forgot. Forgot for a brief and crucial moment that unbearable feeling, which was enough not for killing yourself momentaneously.
Your problems still are with you, your pain is lodged in […]

7/29/2015 0 comment

Why Now

by hiitsme0819 7/28/2015

written by hiitsme0819

gone away now does he dare
take the path that leads nowhere
all alone and without hope
he’ll no longer have to cope

just a sip is all it takes
to wash away all his mistakes
half asleep and fading fast
now his pain will finally pass

now he’s gone and how they cry
in the grounds where he will lie
no one cared when he was here
why now must they shed a tear

7/28/2015 0 comment

How to end a broken heart

by heartbreaksanonymous 7/26/2015

written by heartbreaksanonymous

for the first time last night I tried to commit suicide. I was drunk and on valium, my lover who had just finished fucking me left to go home to his girlfriend. A month ago I had a boyfriend and on a saturday night would I too would have someones arms to sleep in. I was angry and felt used, nostalgia overwhelmed me so I downed 10 pain pills and the remainder of my alcohol before throwing the bottle at the wall. I picked up a glass shard and ran it down my arm. I ran outside my apartment and hysterically cried whilst I smoked […]

7/26/2015 3 comments

Not quite what you Imagined

by XxNameGoesHerexX 7/25/2015

written by XxNameGoesHerexX

Your pain is truly tragic.
You hoped and dreamed.
However the world just
isn’t they way you planned.
It isn’t what you imagined.
Yet you sit here and say
“I will kill myself,
and make the pain go away.”
But it’s just a hope,
that something is better.
That leaving is going to be grand.

But what if,
it’s not quite,
what you hoped,
and dreamed,
it would be.
It’s not what you
Imagined,
not what you wanted.
Well doll,
there’s no going back.

7/25/2015 0 comment

cutting

by sulger 7/25/2015

written by sulger

so i started to cut myself. My sister found out and wanted to talk to me. She asked me why do i do it and i couldnt tell her…i couldnt tell her that the pain from cuts makes me forget about my mental pain, it also kind of feels good. i just told her “i dont know” and kept quiet. I promised her not to do it anymore, but i couldnt keep that promise. Instead, I now have scars on my legs. Much deeper scars. and it helps.

7/25/2015 4 comments

I just want to die already

by Laina 7/25/2015

written by Laina

I wish I could just die already. I’m so sad all the time and I know that there is no way to escape it anymore. It feels like there’s this animal that lives in my stomach that eats every spark of happiness away. Any emotion at all is torn to pieces and all that is left is this shitty body.

I already walk around like a zombie, everyone knows it. I can hear people saying it behind my back. They treat me as if I’m a bomb; and time is slowly ticking away. What hurts me is that they’re completely right, and I am looking forward […]

7/25/2015 1 comment

I like the dark

by unlovedgiant 7/25/2015

written by unlovedgiant

There is nothing around me
Of interest.
No shapes, no sounds. It’s all
A blur.
The only thing I trust now is
Darkness.
Pain constant in my side, just…
Hurt.

My life feels doomed, forever
Empty.
I need help coming back to
Life.
I forgot what it’s like to feel
Happy.
The pain, it cuts like a
Knife.

Memories have been long gone;
Forgotten.
Why would I try to remember all
My fears?
They still plague me, haunt me
Even then.
I like the dark. Now no one can see
My tears.

7/25/2015 1 comment

I don’t belong in this world

by lumosme 7/25/2015

written by lumosme

Sometimes I just want to disappear into thin air,

make myself come none into existence,

forgotten by the crowds,

and erased by time,

I never felt that I will ever fit in this fallacy

My soul, my breath, and my blood

They are just deceiving illusion

I don’t belong here

Something tickling my mind

And tell me to run

Tell me to believe in something unknown

Somewhere I should belong

Out of grasp of the Fake

It actually not a poetry, it just some random words that stumble upon my mind. Something like this bothering me for years. Somehow, I believe there’s a place for people like me out there, or maybe I just being delusional?

7/25/2015 0 comment

“Quem Metui Morituri”

by stormfall 7/24/2015

written by stormfall

What need have I to fear–so soon to die? Let me work on, not watch and wait in dread: What will it matter, when that I am dead That they bore hate or love that near me lie? ‘Tis but a lifetime, and the end is nigh At best or worst. Let me lift up my head And firmly, as with inner courage, tread Mine own appointed way on mandates high. Pain could but bring from all its evil store, The close of pain: hate’s venom could but kill; Repulse, defeat, desertion, could no more, Let me have lived my life, not cowered until The […]

7/24/2015 0 comment

Hi i need the best way to die…

by Loner123 7/22/2015

written by Loner123

Hi i need the best way to die, without pain. Please dont try to preach to me i dont have family/friends or anyone by my side so dont use that line on me. But please anyone asap i do not want to live for another week.

7/22/2015 11 comments

Hurts

by thehusk 7/22/2015

written by thehusk

Round and round it all goes in my head. I don’t think I can live a meaningful life. And that hurts. So I think I want to end it. But that would destroy my family, and I can’t do that to them. So I’m left with this pain. Which just feels……unbearable. And I can’t think of anything that will make it stop. I would cry, but it doesn’t help.

So, this pain, for the rest of my life. It seems to get worse as I get older, and further away from a time when I had hope.

I guess the only question is how I want to […]

7/22/2015 1 comment

my story. my success.

by thistooshallpass 7/21/2015

written by thistooshallpass

I used to think that the tears would never stop, the urges would never cease, and the thoughts of suicide would only grow stronger. I am here, two years suicide-thought free to tell each and everyone of you, this too shall pass. It takes time, so much time. I was lucky to be able to say “I need help” and I got it.

I never looked in the mirror and thought of something that I liked about myself. Never. I began thinking that this was how I would always feel. Never pretty, or skinny, or good enough. I was feeling this way and just assumed it was […]

7/21/2015 1 comment

I don’t know…

by jmc22 7/21/2015

written by jmc22

I wasn’t like this at first. I was so happy. I had strong religious faith. I was a good kid overall, so much that being depressed was out of the question. I guess the world is evil. The world changed my more mature self. I became more aware of problems. More family problems, friend issues, doubts in my faith, everything that was enough to tip my world over. My parents hate each other, but they stay together because of me. My friends don’t really care about personal things, and if they do they aren’t very supportive. I’m not the smartest person. I’m not pretty. I […]

7/21/2015 4 comments

Real sadness

by alina_01 7/20/2015

written by alina_01

is being alive but wishing to die. To be in so much mental and emotional pain that life loses meaning. It’s sad to constantly expect the worst from people and feeling guilty when you’re wrong and realize that people can surprise you. We live in our own hells that we’ve created for ourselves so lost in our own pain that we can’t focus long enough to figure a way out. I am free of many pains that I thought I would never stop feeling. I care for myself in ways I couldn’t even dream of, this time I’m not just saying it. I have sadness […]

7/20/2015 2 comments

I live to see another night

by The Advisor 7/19/2015

written by The Advisor

Same shit different day as they say in modern society. People like us just can’t say that anymore. I feel that I would rather the pain than just nothing. I am more a mindless machine than anything. Hour by hour. Day by day. Endless pain and suffering. If there IS light at the end of this tunnel, this is a long ass tunnel. But it seems darker and more inforgiving than 2012, when I thought I could beat this thing. To all who read this, just remember, we are not ill. We are REAL!! We are considered to be wrong for seeing the world in […]

7/19/2015 0 comment

Do I Really Matter?

by -M- 7/18/2015

written by -M-

I have a lot of time on my hands almost everyday and it gives my mind a lot of room to think. What I ask myself most often is if I honestly matter? Do I even have a pirpose in life? And if so, why does it seem like my purpoae is to only cause people pain. I don’t matter to anyone, they all just act like they care so they can get something out of it. I am sick of this. What do I do besides leave everything behind?

7/18/2015 2 comments

I have officially destroyed every memory I can

by The Advisor 7/18/2015

written by The Advisor

I did this to decrease the pain and anger and now, my only memories left are in music. That will be next. Memories are all I have left for happiness and I HATE THEM ALL!!!! It’s either pain or nothing at all. A to the motherfuckin’ men!

7/18/2015 3 comments

Crashing Hard

by kills 7/16/2015

written by kills

Fuck man I’m feeling death take over my soul minute by minute today. Feel so weak. Agh goddamn. I should be past this. I should be this and should be that. I should’ve never been born. This life man – all its been is pain. What a ***** of a life. I wish i knew who or what I was in a past life so i could channel that identity’s strength into this one. Fuck.

7/16/2015 25 comments

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