I don’t understand why I feel pain like this. It’s completely unbearable. Two years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. i’ve spent these last two years in therapy and searching everywhere for something to make me feel better. I’ve tried therapy, ten different anti-depression drugs, hypnosis, acupuncture, acupressure.. the list goes on and on. on top that i’m victim to horrible anxiety attacks that can strike at any moment without warning, i usually get about two or three a day. they make me curl up into a ball and wait to die. my family has abandoned me because i cause everyone around me pain […]
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pain
I want to die, i hate my life my family is terrible my brother is crazy ,a thief and a horrible person, his purpose in life is to annoy people, and my sister makes me feel bad about everything you come home happy she opens her mouth you want to kill yourself, school is awful, the only reason i am going is because my parents abuse me and i can’t say no to them also my father won’t give me a dime so i have to go to sell people answers to tests, homework and exams so i can get enough change to combine into […]
I need help i can’t decide if i should live anymore here’s some reasons why 🙁
1. My Real dad died when i was young
2. My step dad blames me for all his fights the he starts
3. My sister has said to me she hates me
my bffl: so here’s a message  i hope you like me you’ve bin one of the nicest friends too me you’ve helped me stuck up for me played with me i trusted you with all my secrets you make me laugh all the time i love you as a friend
Mum: i love you you’ve done nothing to me it’s not your […]
I’ve been depressed for 3 years now and I just can’t do it anymore. I can see my life falling apart day by day and go to bed crying every night. Nobody cares about me and probably wouldn’t even notice if I left. I have no friends because whenever I make friends they leave me shortly after. I have never had a boyfriend and guys only use me for my body and take advantage of me. EVERYONE I know has used me over and over again. Every weekend I sit at home by myself and eat my emotions. All I want in my life is […]
I am 25 years old. I have always had problems with depression, with self-harm; I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I promised myself that the third time would be the last; I won’t mess it up, next time. The third time will be the end.
The third time is all I can think about lately. I have lost everything, these past few months. Two years ago, I moved 1000 miles away from home; away from all my family, who spent my entire childhood abusing and neglecting me, and away from all my toxic friends that only dragged me down into their messes. I wanted a fresh start; […]
How do you live when you feel like nothing exists? Like everything is really pointless because were all going to die anyway. Feeling like life has to be a joke…that things cant possibly work like this. Nothing ever lasts, every moment has already passed and theres not a thing you can do to get it back. And it all hurts so bad…that the very short moments you have…your sickness wont even let you enjoy, so you feel your just living to suffer, living just to hurt. Feeling like life has to be a joke that theres no way that your so alone with billions of […]
I can’t even explain my feelings every night
I feel my heart aching as I turn out the light
Can’t shut my eyes, swollen from each tear
I never expect my thoughts to get this severe
Knife, scissors, pills all cover my desk.
All which can leave me very statuesque.
Thoughts erupt my mind about all I hate
I don’t know really if I want death to wait.
Each night I spend lying completely alone
When will it get better? it remains unknown.
Searching deep down to find me a reason
Why I keep living through this suicidal season.
Exploding with depression as I lie in my bed
This pain is too much, makes me wish I was dead.
These thoughts […]
Oh lonely flower, where do your seeds go?
Oh lonely flower, may you forever grow.
Oh lonely star, how bright is your light?
Oh lonely star, blending in with the night.
Oh lonely boy, where have you hidden your scars?
Oh lonely boy, keep faith in your heart.
Oh lonely moon, why do they sleep when you rise?
Oh lonely moon, if only they saw the tears in your eyes.
Oh lonely world, where are the friends?
Oh lonely world, I must make this end.
Why does the world hurt?
I look upon others, and I see all the hurt
I tell myself that it’s gone; but that is an outrageous lie
Why are they still hurting; I ask myself.
My parental instincts go forth to thee;
And I try to protect those that hurt by feeling their pain for them;
but if anything they writhe in agony more.
Why do people have to hurt other people?!
Why do adults hurt children? Why do adults hurt adults?!
Why do some not have morals in their lives…
I read all of the pain and suffering
I read of all the murders and crime. I hear of all the struggles.
I cry and pray. […]
Depression hits us all, I think. There’s not a single person I have spoken to that hasn’t felt it’s clammy hands around their soul. It seems to be caused by many things, from big life changing events, to small things that just build up and knock a person off their feet eventually. Â I’ve had it time and and time again, but usually managing to shake it off like a wet dog. Â This time however, it’s crippled me.
I’ve seen death burn through a families hope, I’ve felt that pain. I got through it.
I’ve felt the devastation of a loved one no longer loving you. I got through […]
the hallucinations begin
the maggots crawling on my skin
searching for each fresh wound
wanting to bury deep inside
this dark rotting flesh
of mine
i cry
i only wish to rest
lying here is absolutely
no “good nightâ€
paranoia
filling my mind
drowning in sorrow and pain
this feeling won’t fucking go away
but i have no God
i can not pray
not for this night
nor for any other day.
Life is hateful mean and cruel each day  we feel like screaming  but we stop and know that it doesn’t matter if we do or not because everybody has turn a deaf ear. We feel trapped lost and chain to the habits that run in a never ending circle.
I want to help-help people like me who just want things to be right again. Who wants someone to care, to love them regardless of the past mistakes , who wants to be happy with her/himself , who is so tired of being strong and for once just want to be weak and have someone to pick them up.  I am here to help along with to […]
Its another morning.
I awake. I sob. I’m awake. I’m still alive. I wish I wasn’t.
I suffer from dysthymia, a form of mild depression that is persistent. All I know is down, all I have ever known is down. I also suffer from Major Depression, episodes of extremely severe depression that last 1-12 months at a time. Yes, they put depression in my depression so I can be depressed while I’m depressed. This is called double depression. One of its features is being more hopeless than someone with one form or the other, another is that it is hard to treat.
I also have generalized anxiety. Tons of anxiety all […]
I’m really pathetic when you think about it. As far as misfortune goes, in circumstance, environment, opportunity, I probably have the closest thing to a perfect life anyone can think of. Certainly I’m better off than all my friends. I have two married parents who are loving and intelligent, we are a middle class family-we make enough to be comfortable, I’ve never had anyone close to me die-not even my dog. I have plenty of friends. I’ve never been abused, neglected, never gone hungry, without clothing or heat. I am in the top .02% of my class in school. I got a job at a […]
Curled tightly in its iron womb
Forthcoming almost certain doom
an infant bird respires last
wretched secrets mere and vast
“To die!” it shrills “I beg you please
Take my breath and let me cease”
A chilly, silent, cheerless air
secreted by this bird’s despair
Restrained by ageless ferric bars
adorned in grisly, gaping scars
from strife and discord with its cage
and self-inflicted fiendish rage
Withered and replete of wrath
its essence walks a lonely path
Phantoms, voices beckon so
and warn of hells it dares to go
what happened to this bird I know
a tale of endless pain and woe
left in its cage to rot […]
reasons for doing this
1. Im addicted to trying to hurt myself
2.I have loads of pills its to hard to get rid of them.At at least for me.
3. Im pretty sure nothing will come of it anyway. After all ive attempted suicide more times than can count and a lot of the times i was never admitted for treatment.
4. Ive been very scared lately of death which is very ironic.But the point is i dont want to be around without the people i love.I dont want to feel the emotional pain of loss.
5 I cant survive on my own.One of my […]
I have suddenly become so incredibly numb and exhausted. I want to scream and cry, but I just can’t. I just want to feel something real, I’m so tired of apathy and exhaustion.
In an attempt to feel something, I just started attacking my thigh with a small blade. I find it quite beautiful, the way to begin with there’s just a dent in the skin, but then it gradually rises before drops of blood begin to surface. My thigh is now covered in short cuts and I like the messy zigzagging. It’s the only way I can think to represent how I feel. I […]
Well it’s that time again… But there is way too much going on in my head .. I am physically and mental and emotionally done. Now I’m throwing up ..  More and more Just keeps happening and my body aches of soreness andmy skin feels tense  and raw
I don’t know how many people believe in psychics. My mom’s boyfriend is clairvoyant and I had him read me with my suicidal thoughts in mind. I had him do two readings (picking the cards, reading them, then shuffling them, and doing it again) to be sure. He told me to think of the question I wanted to ask (one that can be answered with yes or no) while I shuffle the cards. (I have to shuffle them to put my energy in them or some mumbojumbo). In my head the first time I asked if my suicide attempt would work. The second time I ask if […]
I’m 21, (ya I know I’m young) .. My whole life has been nothing but suffering. I’ve been bullied since I could remember. I’ve had my ups and down’s but have been depressed for many years. It’s at its worst right now. I don’t have a licence, I don’t have a job, I don’t have highschool, I will never see college. I don’t even know what I want to do for my future. I don’t even see me having a future. My boyfriend left me because he “doesn’t love me” anymore. He can’t understand what I’m going through. We still talk. He’s going to be dating someone […]