i cut. not too much. i wasnt gonna do as much as i did. but its not too much i dont think. it doesnt seem so bad to me really. well ill just post a few pctures of it. so yeah thats it. i find them to be beautiful. please dont judge me.
i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to do it. last night before i was going to sleep i was going to do it. but it was too close to the time my brother and mom wake up and i cant risk getting caught. my mom already wants me to do some psychiatric thing. i dont want to […]
I have a pain I can’t explain
It eats me up inside
It empties me and drains me dry
To a point where there’s nothing left to hide
It makes me high
To a point where I feel low
I gaze and stare
I’m mesmorized
At something that’s not there
But no one cares
Or do they even know?
I cease to show
My pain
The pain inside I can’t define
It takes my heart and grinds it fine
& Spreads it ’round, leaves me down
To a point where there’s every reason to frown
It makes me drown
It a pool of endless pain
It makes me sink
I’m […]
i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
a combination of happiness and suffering
and smiling and crying
it is a journey God picked
for us to travel and see
who made it to heaven or hell.
I dont think thats fair though.
how do we know where we end up?
Does it even really matter??
We all die eventually.
We are eternally asleep when
we die.
So, no, it doesnt really matter.
Our souls will go across the universe.
Nothing will be destroyed when i
Die.
I dont even believe many people will remember me at all.
So why does all this matter so much?
There have been things on my mind that i just cannot
stop thinking of.
And i dont think those things have answers or
explanations.
My feelings about suicide after a beloved family member took their own life in 2012.
Happier […]
Words of wisdom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Na9-jV_OJI
It is sad that now I don’t feel like I’m a “human” anymore, or want to be associated with a being called “human”. I mostly hate humanity nowadays, and have become a Misanthrope, and disillusioned as well with this so-called “real world”. it sucks, and Humanity, though I used to believe it has so much hidden potentials, yet now I unfortunately can’t help but feeling Humanity is largely hopeless: we’re destroying our own Planet, animals, and even killing our fellow species over some stupid, close-minded, most ignorant & selfish, senseless reasons..
Can anybody here relate?…what to do then?…
Here’s a complete and detailed ‘rant’ of mine, if […]
1. What is your job?
or what do you study?
2. Do you like it? or hate it? or fucking hate it, but have little to no choice?
3. And is you’re feeling suicidal also related with your job/working life?
perhaps feeling meaningless, and hate life?
4. Last but not least, why don’t you pursue your dreams, or your dream-job, or what makes you happy?
What makes you hesitate?
thanks.
I think people often only look at the ‘good’ sides of the money system, but overlooking (or even neglecting) many ‘bad’ sides, in fact perhaps much more than the ‘good/positive’ of the money system! that is IMHO where lies the main problem of all the constant debates & misunderstandings.
The fall of U.S & Europe financial crisis (and soon perhaps the world’s economic collapse, in 2012) have somewhat really proved about this.
People need to seriously look at the Bigger Picture of things, to be very objective, of what Money (system) also caused to humanity.
Out of curiosity, have any of you here ever heard of: […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
One week ago, a close family member of mine took her life. She didn’t “commit” anything, she had a great life until about age 30 when all hell broke loose in her brain. Her quality of life for the last two decades was terrible. I cannot imagine what it is like to have actual “voices” in one’s head, or to sleep twelve hours at night, wake up, eat too much, watch TV, never go outside….you get the idea. However, she had a boyfriend of 17 years, who found her. He loved her dearly. He has been there for her no matter what. She had a […]
I found this web site a couple days ago while puttering around, looking for answers, or support, or both, or neither. I’ve written and spoken to a few people since then. I wondered out loud if writing things down would help or not, and my mom thought it might be a good idea.
I’ve been dogged by clinical depression since my college years. I’m now 43. My wife, who attempted suicide three times in college, has also been depressed throughout her entire adult life. In the ’90s living out west, it was scary frequently. She was out of work because of her depression, and many times […]
I just stumbled on this page accidently. But maybe this will be helpful. My older sister committed suicide over 20 yrs ago. I have mental illness in my family and several of us have it, including myself. I grew up with an alcoholic father and uncaring mother to give you a short and fast history of my family. Due to my mental history (suffering with bipolar disorder for 24 yrs, since I was 18) and dealing with the loss of my sister, I attempted suicide 6 yrs ago. I took my psychiatric medication plus some medical meds and as much tylenol as I could swallow. […]
I posted on here nearly a year ago, when I was fifteen. Well, I’m sixteen now, and things have not improved in the least.
My dad is still an angry, violent alcoholic. My mom still stands behind him. I still come home with outstanding grades, only to be put down by my parents, saying it still isn’t good enough. That I’m not even trying.
Here’s the thing; I actually haven’t been trying. I can’t anymore. The depression has turned. I used to cry a lot, and reach out to friends when I was at my worst. Now, I don’t feel much of anything. I have no motivation, […]
Never again will I be happy
Never again will I have a friend
Never again will I go through the day without crying
Never again will you care about me
Never again will I heal from this pain
Never again will I heal fron this lonliness
Never again will I live, for I will end this life very soon.
Just another random poem by me. As for my suicide date, mabye on Christmas. What better Christmas gift for the world than the death of someone who everybody hates?
-End
Pain and emptiness.
Most people just don’t get it. They don’t understand how someone could possibly want to die. Some of them will post stupid articles or rants about how “dying is totally and utterly dumb and your a jerk if you desire to die” but they lack the understanding. Not everyone is lucky enough to be given a happy life. In a world that is falling apart; a place of immense darkness and corruption, not everyone is so lucky. Many of us find ourselves in the most unfair and worst of situations.
My first friend, lost himself to lust and depression, gave up his dreams, […]
You’re right that life isn’t fair. Because people are self-absorbed, yes. Because people are selfish, yes. We’re born into a world that we know, as soon as we become enough aware we know, we have to leave sooner or later.
And we spend that time trying to fill it with as many positive experiences as possible. That’s all we really want, isn’t it? Our day in the sun?
Well, we didn’t make the sun. I’m not religious, but I’m sure as hell we didn’t make the sun. Or the ocean. Or the mountains. Or the sky. You’re right; you didn’t choose to come into the world. You […]
Im 13, i live in britian in a country called scotland. A few years ago everything was amazing, i had my family and my friends i loved live. In 2007 is where everything started to get worse, one of my grandfathers passed away and three months later my other grandfather took a sudden heart attack and died. Then i started losing constantrition at school, i couldnt think, i didnt want to have friends. A few boys bullied me, id get called lots of names, when i started high school, everything was okay, i was poplaur, everyone seemed to really like me it was good i […]